Too shy to ask her out.

[Protec]

Have you ever been in a long term relationship?

 

Yes. Even in long distance relationships. But i've always met my GF's from online. Lucky me i guess.

 

I dated my 1st GF for 2,5 years. 2nd for 8 months, "3rd" a month. 4th 3 years and the latest, 5th abour a year and we lived together.

 

I've always had pretty girlfriends. So good looking women don't scare me like that. They still scare me but if i can break the ice, online etc. then i am not afraid of them. But in real life...i just am so shy to break the ice. I lack the real life experience and maybe i am not in the best possible shape at the moment...

[Protec]

If you spoke with her in the past and have also spoken with her online, the ice is already broken.

 

Does she know your name and you hers? In the previous small talk you had, did you learn any small details about each other?

Does she smile at you and look interested in you at all?

 

If yes to the above, then you need to ask her out if you're interested in her. There isn't anything else left to do.

 

She should know my name yes. And i know hers. We talked about my music, she asked the name of the song i've made etc. and she talked to me about her trip to a festival etc. Also, she adviced me on healthy food. "oh you really shouldn't buy those pre-made salads, just make your own, they are more healthy But you look like you take care of yourself."

 

And this happened in real life. So she basically complimented me on my looks.

 

I was in good condition back then. But now i have gained weight, and she has lost some. She looks better than ever and i look well, not as good as i could look. So at the moment i feel little unsecure about myself. I am working on it though.

 

She used to smile me more back then. I mean, it's been a year since we talked in the OLD site and in real life. But when she saw me with my EX-GF, after that she has been "less" friendly.

 

Maybe she felt like she was not good enough for me. I mean in OLD site we had a talk about going out for a walk sometime and we talked in real life...so i basically rejected her walking past her with my new GF back then.

 

She knows i am interested in her. No man talks to other woman in OLD without reason. And when i think about it, no woman replies to a man if she is not interested in some way. in SOME WAY.

[road]

She should know my name yes. And i know hers. We talked about my music, she asked the name of the song i've made etc. and she talked to me about her trip to a festival etc. Also, she adviced me on healthy food. "oh you really shouldn't buy those pre-made salads, just make your own, they are more healthy But you look like you take care of yourself."

 

And this happened in real life. So she basically complimented me on my looks.

 

I was in good condition back then. But now i have gained weight, and she has lost some. She looks better than ever and i look well, not as good as i could look. So at the moment i feel little unsecure about myself. I am working on it though.

 

She used to smile me more back then. I mean, it's been a year since we talked in the OLD site and in real life. But when she saw me with my EX-GF, after that she has been "less" friendly.

 

Maybe she felt like she was not good enough for me. I mean in OLD site we had a talk about going out for a walk sometime and we talked in real life...so i basically rejected her walking past her with my new GF back then.

 

She knows i am interested in her. No man talks to other woman in OLD without reason. And when i think about it, no woman replies to a man if she is not interested in some way. in SOME WAY.

 

 

 

You have shown her that you are not interested by your lack of action. Ask her out.

 

 

No girl is obligated to go out with a man because he asks her out.

 

 

And that is ok because no man will ask out a woman that he does not like as well.

 

 

Men that want a woman need to accept that it is ok that for some of them to not want him. Though he has to still ask till he finds a woman that has a mutual attraction. Then all is golden.

[lino]

But when she saw me with my EX-GF, after that she has been "less" friendly.

 

Maybe she felt like she was not good enough for me. I mean in OLD site we had a talk about going out for a walk sometime and we talked in real life...so i basically rejected her walking past her with my new GF back then.

 

She knows i am interested in her. No man talks to other woman in OLD without reason. And when i think about it, no woman replies to a man if she is not interested in some way. in SOME WAY.

 

I would assume rejection in her position as well.

 

If you want this to go anywhere, you need to do the asking out here.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for women making moves themselves as well but in this case she correctly assumed you weren't interested in her at that previous time as you had another girl.

[Glitters]

She should know my name yes. And i know hers. We talked about my music, she asked the name of the song i've made etc. and she talked to me about her trip to a festival etc. Also, she adviced me on healthy food. "oh you really shouldn't buy those pre-made salads, just make your own, they are more healthy But you look like you take care of yourself."

 

 

She used to smile me more back then. I mean, it's been a year since we talked in the OLD site and in real life. But when she saw me with my EX-GF, after that she has been "less" friendly.

 

Maybe she felt like she was not good enough for me. I mean in OLD site we had a talk about going out for a walk sometime and we talked in real life...so i basically rejected her walking past her with my new GF back then.

 

She knows i am interested in her. No man talks to other woman in OLD without reason. And when i think about it, no woman replies to a man if she is not interested in some way. in SOME WAY.

 

You didn't make her feel wanted, so you got what you made her feel. In love relationships , some people are very good at picking up non verbal cues while some can't see anything even if it's in there face.

[Protec]

Okay!

 

I did not ask her out yet but i finally managed to talk with her. I felt great because i was just coming from jogging, and i always go to the shop when i am heading back home. So i was filled with good, positive energy and endorphins.

 

I smiled and said to her "Had to go outside running because finally you can actually see the sun :)" (Note, it's been very dark few weeks here in finland. I've seen the sun about 3 weeks ago last time)

 

She smiled back and "Yeah I would be outside running too if i didn't have work today. It's very nice weather!"

 

"I usually run in the forests, here and there"

"yeah the air is cleaner in the forest :)"

 

Then she tried to give me the receipt, i did not take it, then i tried to take it, then again i didn't. I got confused. She laughed a bit.

 

It was nothing much, but it was something!

 

But now, i have broken the "ice" again. Next time i see her i could ask something "Listen, you seem to like running as well, how about you'd join me when you have free time?" Now i know that she likes running, sports.

 

I'd love to take her out in the nature. I love nature. It's so relaxing and beautiful.

That's why i mentioned the forest to her, so she knows i am not just someone who stays on the path all the time...

 

Also i looked quite manly. I don't dress like a model when i am running. This time i had a vest, long-sleeved shirt, college pants,

 

I am happy! Finally i had the courage actually to say something to her I can do it if i just believe it.

[Xiomn]

What has worked for me,

This was the first time I ever approached a girl and asked her out, it was in a student bar at my university.

 

"Hey I think you're pretty cute and I was wondering if I could get your number?"

 

Simple.

 

 

The problem I'm having at the moment is there's this girl I like whom goes to my university and we're friends on Facebook (but never actually spoken to each other before) we both live in the same accommodation (not in the same flat or anything, but in the general area, if that makes sense?) I'd very much like to ask her out (in person) on a date but I never actually have the opportunity to see her in person in order to ask her out and I don't want to do it via any other method.

Edited November 22, 2015 by Xiomn