cleenadoyle Posted November 7, 2015 Posted November 7, 2015 (edited) So some background to my question: I dated this guy, we'll call "ex" for about a year and maybe a month, he was really there for me (thats what I told myself) when i had a really hard time dealing with my dad leaving and I guess I became meaner because I was having a hard time, and sometimes I'd want to break it off because i was scared he'd leave me like my dad did to my mom, he would be hurt but he'd say he'd understand, but I knew I could never leave him either I told him that as well. I was still nice and stuff despite my sometimes cranky demeanour and I had done a lot of things for him as well. Up until recently I moved out of this hotel I had to live at because my dad left, and I moved in an apartment with my mom about 30 minutes away from ex and he'd bike everyday and he was fine with it, because my mom use to drive him 15 minutes everyday back to his house and to the hotel i stayed at and we were in 2 different cities technically and his parents wouldn't do it either. A month before our breakup he promised to spend Halloween with me, despite knowing his uncle with was coming from another country he never met before, and when it was the thursday before halloween he changed these plans we had for a month, to I can't see him all weekend, and he called me some rude names and wanted to end it, I was devastated, hes done this to me before, on friday he was so cold towards me and I pushed to talk to him and such and I cried a lotand he said he was just upset, he needed time on the weekend to think, and being heartbroken I tried to talk to him a lot because I was scared he'd just stop responding (he said I could come over halloween, but then changed his mind and didn't ask I mentioned it to him and he avoided the topic, he also told me on the following monday his parents expected me to be over all weekend, so he had lied), Guys have lied to me in the past and ex had lied a lot to me as well during the relationship. The monday after the weekend we met up and he said he wanted to be with me, he'd buy me a promise ring, he had cold feet it would end in the future because he loved me so much it hurt, we hung out did normal couple things I guess and he had been pushy about grabbing me and kissing me, but I said i wasn't ready for that because he really hurt me and I was scared he'd leave me, or he was lying, or he'd go home and change his mind, its ironic because he did all these things, although on monday he cuddled with me and reassured me it would not happen. The next day (tuesday), he was cold towards me and avoided hanging out, I messaged him at night to see if he really did want to be with me and he suddenly changed from talking about marriage (he actually brought up a wedding song and a promise ring) to he just pitied me and didn't know, but he was suppose to come over wednesday. He had spent a lot of time on wednesday before we broke up ,texting this girl we'll call her B, they had flirted before she had even said to him she was a horny angel, and she tried to flirt with him over text but it didn't really seem like he was interested when I asked his friend, and ex denied it as well but It was weird. On Tuesday as well, she was talking to him and she said it was awkward for his ex-girlfriend to be here, but ex said we were dating and that he loved me, I asked him about it and he denied her ever saying that. When ex ended it with me he said it was awkward and I was being weird, well he pitied me, he'd get mad at me, he wanted me to change, but on monday he said he didn't want me too either, he was texting a girl, and I was just hurt how was I suppose to react? I was obviously awkward and now I feel like if I was a better person, or did things differently it wouldn't of ended he looked constantly mad he said he would come over but then he had papers, but usually before he'd ask his brother so I said to do that, he did and said he'd only do half and I said thats lots of time I could meet him somewhere then and we could go for a walk, and then he said well i have to go home first to get water so i gave him my water, then he said it was a coat he needed when he came home from my apartment since it would be cold, I was going to offer him mine but I really knew what he was doing. At lunch he said we were dating as well, and the night before he promised not leave me any time soon the night before, but he'd check on me if i hurt myself, and such and then he said I'm a great person theres lots of better guys out there, and i said i didn't care if he was the worse person ever I'd want him for him. But when I was on my bus ride home he texted me saying it was over and if I spammed him he'd block me and if I ever hurt myself over him, it isn't his problem (every time he threatened to break up he'd never do it to my face either, only over text), I left it alone that day, hung out with a friend, and texted him about my items that were still at his house, but I never got a reply. I missed the next day of school as well, because I was too hurt, but on that same day I got annoying and clingy I was just so devastated, I spammed him and did that typical clingy, can't let go, highschool drama stuff and he blocked me and my friend said to him she was worried I'd hurt myself, and he said he'll just call the police then, he had no concern, and he didn't call them, he just wanted to scare me or something. I missed Thursday as well, because I couldn't handle the stress, but on friday I went due to me receiving an award from the school, at lunch time he was everywhere, they would stand behind me and she'd asked if she'd look good and he said yeah and they'd flirt, I'd even saw them cuddle as they walked (when ex ended it he said he didn't want a relationship with anyone, he thought he was "mentally unstable", but I said i loved him anyway, and that if he dated I would be his number 1 girl, and I was too controlling but this girl controls the guys shes with more than I am, I use to be her friend, but I also heard she liked his twin as well and she was using him because ex's twin rejected her) ,but hes constantly texting, flirting and even cuddling with her not even a day later. On friday night I went to his house to get my stuff with my friend, he gave it to me, and he said I heard you thought I was cheating on you, well you're wrong, (but ex had lied to me all throughout the relationship, and this whole past week was actually all lies, quite literally), all I said was wouldn't you if you saw that same thing, but he didnt say anything, but a little bit after he said I'm not even dating her, and I said but soon?, again he didn't respond. I left to go volunteer at my school, which he was doing as well. During this volunteer time, it was three people, me, ex and someone else, I was making jokes and such and being myself, but he just constantly texting, and I started to ask him about B, I was trying to really be nice, out of curiosity but I guess I was still prodding, and I feel really dumb for even speaking to him, thinking he wouldn't be rude especially after this past week, or that he wouldn't lie. he even left to talk and spread rumours about me because I heard it. He got mad and said don't interrogate me, I can **** the queen of England if I want too, I handled the situation well (because I asked don't you think what you did to me was kind of wrong, like treating me that way, leading me on, etc) he left the room because the other guy said he'd take a walk because he thought it was awkward and he asked if we were trying to fix our relationship, but ex made a disgusted look at me, which hurt, after all we did and I spent a year of my life with him. Ex left the room as well, and said I didn't volunteer for this ****. A little bit prior to this though he prodded me about who I was hanging out with, and said if i didn't tell him he'd just ask someone because they'd tell him (he thought I was hanging out with his friend, because I did once), a guy I knew showed up as well and we were talking and he complimented me and then ex immediately asked who he was but he was "smiling" and when I called my sister for her to pick me up, ex offered me a drive home, I said I'm probably old enough to handle it, even if it was dark, I felt bad for being rude, but hes treated me like trash. My question is, how am I suppose to get over this guy quickly? Hes in two of my classes. He likes to cuddle and snuggle with B infront of me how do I ignore it, not just pretend too, but actually not care, or how to avoid it? Part of me hates him, and I think I don't love him that much anymore sometime i feel nothing and sometimes I feel twinges of pain, and hes hard to avoid because hes like always there in my classes, hallways with B,etc, and I know I might feel some love or compassion for him because he asked about our law essay and I forgot the date and remembered it and would of went out of my way to tell him, but I don't think he deserves it I guess. I just want to move on quicker, but I feel lonely and i feel like I have no friends, even though I know I obviously do but they're usually really busy, and ex and b just snuggle infront of me all the time and it sucks. I resent ex a lot and B because she liked him for a while, and I did everything to keep ex, and he led me on it would be okay. If someone has any similar stories they could share it would really help and I'm sorry this is so long, but I really need advice, I swear its like hes a bully and I'm a victim setting myself up for it and being dumb P.S this is my last year of highschool I just need to deal with him for one year thank god but this still really sucks also I'd never hurt myself I think my friend was trying to get him to talk to me, and he wanted to hurt my feelings too Edited November 7, 2015 by cleenadoyle need to add something
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