XNemesisX Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Ok...right before my ex and I broke up I met this guy. He was VERY attractive...looked just like Colin Ferrel. I went out with him..we had a GREAT time. He called me several times after that and for some reason I flaked out and never called him back. I think I just wasn't over my ex yet and I didn't have the energy to try to really date someone yet. I even got a little resentful at Colin Ferrel guy because this is part of the reason my ex left me. He was very angry over Colin. I sent him a text message saying "well Nick (my ex) won't even talk to me now because of the night we went out." He just wrote back "You shouldn't have told him. Call me. " I never called him. So fast forward about 5-6 months. My friend and I went to the restaurant where he works and I started drinking LIT's like they were going out of style. I asked our waiter if "Colin" was there. He said yep, and said he would go find him. Well a few minutes later, he comes to our table and sits down next to me and is really nice and friendly. He talks to us until his manager comes over to get him so I think that we almost got him in trouble. Well...one LIT after another I drank..I got so carried away that I didn't even notice the restaurant had been closed for an hour and I was still drinkin like an alkie. ARRRGGGHHH I'm such a dork! So I don't see "Colin" again because he disapeared somewhere. My friend and I left and I was saying how I wish I had called him back and that my ex wasn't worth missing my chance with this fine, sweet guy. So she told me to leave him a note on his car. My friend wrote it for me and I put it on his car and it said: "Hey it was nice seeing you again. Give me a call sometime. (wrote my # again and signed my name) Then at the bottom it said P.S. Tell our waiter we are sorry for taking too long" Well..tomorrow that will have been 1 week ago!!! Did I just really f*** up?
Marshbear Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 I believe you were one of the ones that said you gave your number to guys with no intention of dating them because you couldn't say no. Well, I think this is the same situation. Welcome to the big leagues. Peace...
Author XNemesisX Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear I believe you were one of the ones that said you gave your number to guys with no intention of dating them because you couldn't say no. Well, I think this is the same situation. Welcome to the big leagues. Peace... What do you mean? This guy asked me for my number first, as long ago as it may have been. I pretty much blew him off and now I regret it. I just wasn't ready yet. So he didn't ask for my number again or anything, I just took it upon myself to leave the note on his car and I was trying to convey to him that I was ready to talk again. It's not like I am calling him. I'm leaving the ball in his court if he wants to give me another chance or not. i hope he does, but I guess I may have messed this one up a long time ago. Oh well. I guess after a week he would have called if he was going to...even though I took several months to finally show some interest back to him. Think he is just thru with me now?
faux Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Colin Ferrel is attractive? Woah. If you want to talk to him, and still don't have his number, you could always go back there and try to find him again. Better to tell him to call you, face to face, I think. He may never even get the note you left.
Marshbear Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX What do you mean? This guy asked me for my number first, as long ago as it may have been. I pretty much blew him off and now I regret it. I just wasn't ready yet. So he didn't ask for my number again or anything, I just took it upon myself to leave the note on his car and I was trying to convey to him that I was ready to talk again. It's not like I am calling him. I'm leaving the ball in his court if he wants to give me another chance or not. i hope he does, but I guess I may have messed this one up a long time ago. Oh well. I guess after a week he would have called if he was going to...even though I took several months to finally show some interest back to him. Think he is just thru with me now? If a guy is interested he will find a way to contact you. You took a step in leaving the note to tell him your interest and now it is up to him ( as you stated ). I don't know if you blew it with him before because if a guy is interested and he knows the girl wants to hook-up he will call her. It might be that he has a G/F or his interest has changed from before. If it's been a week and he hasn't called I think he's through with you. I only meant that when you leave a note and the person doesn't call (and you have built up this nervousness inside and you want them to call) it is such a let down when they don't respond. You took the chance and it didn't pan out. I hope you take your own advice and realize that he isn't interested and don't try to make up excuses for his lack of interest. There are plenty of fish so go bait your hook for a new one. Peace...
alphamale Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX Well..tomorrow that will have been 1 week ago!!! Did I just really f*** up? yes XNX and i will tell u why. cause CF guy thinx that u are f***ing with his head. You should call him and explain the situation just like u did here on LS and then maybe he will go out with you again. but don't expect much and if you two do hook up again he may want to get back at you for blowing him off 6 months ago. but it is worth a shot. just don't leave notes on cars, it's gay* *not that there is anything wrong with that
Pocky Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 In my opinion, leaving the note wasn't a the mistake, but maybe the message was. You've already participated in the ritual of him pursuing you by calling, however your lack of response basically translated as disinterest on your part. Giving him the number again, like you've done before, really doesn't inform him of the situation. If it were me and I received the note, I'd wonder to myself why you left it since you didn't return my call the last time. I'd assumed you just liked the chase and I wouldn't call again. If you're really interested - talk to him face to face. Tell him why you didn't call back and let him know you're not playing games. I'd say you have a 50-50 chance that the response could go either way - either he gives it another shot or he declines.
CurlyIam Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Call him and ask him to meet you for drinks! You'll take it from there!
scarlyjones Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Well,..Im not sure. ..............did he WITNESS you drink a million Long Islands? That may be it. Someone who can drink that much and still function suggests you drink quite a bit to have that big of a tolerance for it. Maybe he was turned off by how much you put away. And the fact that you stayed past closing continuing to drink prolly didnt help...........Im not saying you drink too much,..Im just saying that situation may have painted you in a bad light.
scarlyjones Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Oh,..................are you even sure you got the RIGHT car? ....lol
alphamale Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones Well,..Im not sure. ..............did he WITNESS you drink a million Long Islands? That may be it. Maybe he was turned off by how much you put away. I don't know SCARLYJ.....most dudes I know start to salivate when they see a chick downing drinks like there is no tomorrow. Personally, I would think "CHA-CHING!". Most of the women I have met who like to drink (but are not alcoholix) are fun and like to have sex a lot
scarlyjones Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 grrrrrrrrrrrrr................I didnt mean that to sound like Im calling her one!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im just giving that out as a possible explanation, thats all. But,....yeah,...you're right about that I guess. I know I was "easier" when I got looped. .........Hopefully, she put the note on the right car.
blind_otter Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 This happened to me. I was a dork with one dude I was seeing a while ago, December before last. I just kinda stopped calling him because I hooked back up with my exboyfriend. I've run into him a few times and told him to call me but he wouldn't, I think because I seriously f***ed with his head by never calling him back last year. Now he is friendly to me when we see each other out, but that's it. The interest is still there but he's like, f*** that beyotch, she's a flake. So -- chalk it up to experience and if he does call, you scored. Can you call him? Do you even have his number? If you pursue him maybe he'll change his mind.
crazy_grl Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 It was a bad move leaving the note. To me, it reeks of toying with him or stalker potential (but that maybe be because I've had creepy guys leave notes on my car before). I'm sorry, but if he hasn't called you yet, I think you blew this one. You should have told him when he was at your table talking to you that you really wanted to appologize to him for your behavior 6 months ago and asked him to call you later so that you two could talk about it. You should have been up front right then. That would have given him a clearer idea of what was going on than just a note. At this point, you could call him, but you've already left him your number and asked him to call, so you may look desperate if you do. He also wouldn't be able to tell that you were being genuine like he would in person. If you really want to get with him, maybe you could give it a few weeks or so and then drop by where he works (if it's somewhere you might go normally) and if you happen to see him, say hello and try to redo the conversation you blew last time. He may not be willing to give you another chance though.
Author XNemesisX Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 Oh,..................are you even sure you got the RIGHT car? ....lol I'm about 95% sure. I know he drives a black firebird and there was only one in the parking lot, so I'm pretty positive it was his car. Now, I'm hoping that I wasn't so drunk that I didn't put it under the windshield wipers good enough and it didn't just blow off or something I doubt that though, I'm sure he probably got it. So -- chalk it up to experience and if he does call, you scored. Can you call him? Do you even have his number? If you pursue him maybe he'll change his mind. I don't have his number anymore. I used to, but when I broke my phone I lost all the numbers except for the ones that were in my SIM card. I'm sure I could find a way to get it though, but I'm scared it would make me look desperate. I KNOW he was interested in me back when he was pursuing me, but I'm thinking he may just not want to go there again after I blew him off already. I talked to my friend about this and she thinks that he may have also seen how many drinks I had and wonder if I just left the note out of being drunk or something, and would therefore feel like a fool to call me. (I may have had a lot of drinks, but I was perfectly aware of what I was doing!) but it is worth a shot. just don't leave notes on cars, it's gay* *not that there is anything wrong with that Ugh I know..it was a seriously dorky thing to do. I wanted to say something to him while he was at the table but then his manager came over there and gave him this look like he was about to go off on him for talking to us while he was at work. So, I was afraid I wouldn't get to see him for a while so I left the note. Now I could kick myself for doing that...I bet I just made myself look really weird and goofy. Ok guys, tonight I am going with a group of friends to the restaurant he works at. We are going to go there at 9. We were planning of going to another restaurant but my friend insists we should go back to where he works. Will this make me look like a stalker for going there again? Do you all really think I should say something to him about all this? Or just leave it alone? Now I feel so embarassed about the note. Kinda makes me wonder if I can even look him in the eye again. If he doesn't call me I don't think I would be able to face him again, talk about humiliation.
Author XNemesisX Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 P.S. He did tell me that he has been working 80 hour weeks lately. He's working full time at the restaurant and also working A LOT for his dad's construction company AND taking summer classes. Does this hold any value in this situation?
alphamale Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX Does this hold any value in this situation? No one is THAT busy XNX...he may be a bit pissed that u blew him off the 1st time... I would be, but, if I really liked you i'd give u another chance if u came off as serious.
whichwayisup Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX P.S. He did tell me that he has been working 80 hour weeks lately. He's working full time at the restaurant and also working A LOT for his dad's construction company AND taking summer classes. Does this hold any value in this situation? Geez, if somebody says they're that busy it means not interested. That is how I would take it anyway.
alphamale Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Geez, if somebody says they're that busy it means not interested. That is how I would take it anyway. he could also be playing "hard-to-get" cause maybe he thinks XNX is also playing the same game...
Marshbear Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 I think this stalking thing has gotten way out of hand. If you go to the resturant you are afraid he will see you as a stalker? It is a public place and you have every right to go. Just because he happens to work there is a bonus in your book. People have been pursuing interests for years, going to where they work, driving by their house, etc. and no one called that stalking. Stalking is when you are threatening someone or harassing them. Now if he tells you to stop bothering him and you continue then you might be a stalker. If you really want to be with this guy I would do all that's necessary to let him know it. Guys like attention and flattery also and it shouldn't bother him. Peace...
crazy_grl Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX Ok guys, tonight I am going with a group of friends to the restaurant he works at. We are going to go there at 9. We were planning of going to another restaurant but my friend insists we should go back to where he works. Will this make me look like a stalker for going there again? Do you all really think I should say something to him about all this? Or just leave it alone? I wouldn't go there tonight. It will make you look more desperate than a phone call would. If you didn't go there often before, it'll be obvious that you're going there to see him if you show up twice in such a short time. If you go back, do it in a few weeks when you've relaxed about it a bit. When you do go, talk to him. Don't chicken out and show up multiple times. What I also wouldn't do is go with a big group who might starting talking about him, giggling and getting girly. If he sees something like that, he'll just think it's part of your little game and that you're trying to impress your friends. Edited to add: As a girl who's been in a somewhat similar situation, I did not get the guy by doing the kind of things you're doing. I'm just trying to help you from going wrong where I did.
Author XNemesisX Posted May 26, 2005 Author Posted May 26, 2005 Ok, I didn't go tonight. We saw his car parked outside the restaurant but I refused to go in. So we went to another place. It was a really fun night, I even had a photo shoot done by a photographer! (LOOOONG story lol) I met this really hot guy (everyone calls him James Dean because he looks sorta like him). We hit it off really well. I'm going to see where this one goes. We seemed to have a lot in common, and were really attracted to eachother. I'm not so worried about Colin Ferrel guy. I would LOVE for him to give me another chance, but if he doesn't want to then that's fine. He's not the only guy I'm interested in. I don't think I'm going to pursue this anymore. I left the note, I'm sure he got it. I'm not going to make a special trip back in there just to talk to him about it. I just think that would look strange. Since it was so long ago that he tried to date me then I think it would seem awkward for me to go up to him and want to talk about it. I shouldn't have left the note. I'm not going to call him though. No way. That's up to him if he wants to call me or not. I have given up on him calling and I will leave it at that. I'm going to try out this "James Dean" guy now
CurlyIam Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 So many men, so little time, huh, Nem? I believe you've got the right attitude about this. Just... take it easy with the "rebel without a cause" guy, ok;)?
crazy_grl Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX I have given up on him calling and I will leave it at that. I'm going to try out this "James Dean" guy now That sounds like the right idea to me. Good luck with James Dean.
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