unicorn40020 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 I know my boyfriend loves me, he just never compliments me and isn't as romantic as most guys, is this normal? Am i comparing things to movies and fake romantic **** too much? Its fine when I hang out with him I feel happy, but once Im not with him I overthink EVERYTHING about the relationship, it may be due to my anxiety and OCD. IS this totally abnormal? I just get sad texting him and stuff but when I'm actually with him (which is unfortunately about once a week) I'm happy. I think I'm overthinking everything but sometimes I just feel so sad that idk what to do. I don't know why I overthink everything when he's not around...
Author unicorn40020 Posted November 6, 2015 Author Posted November 6, 2015 and this is his first relationship so maybe he doesn't know what he's doing . I just hate to overthink everything when he's not around and feel sad and wasn't sure if this is a common problem.
Redhead14 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 and this is his first relationship so maybe he doesn't know what he's doing . I just hate to overthink everything when he's not around and feel sad and wasn't sure if this is a common problem. How long has he been seeing you? Does he communicate regularly and consistently? If he's not reaching out to you first when you are apart at least most of the time, you may feel somewhat disconnected. But, it sounds like you are over the top with stressing and obsessing about him though. How do you overcome that? -- you fill your life with other things and interests so that when you are apart, you got other things to focus on. A man shouldn't be your only source of happiness and fulfillment. If things are good and solid between you though, you should be feeling pretty good even when you're apart. Be honest with yourself -- how does he really make you feel when you are together? 1
smackie9 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Some guys are romantics some aren't.....your bf isn't. And BTW this has nothing to do with his first/no clue, etc. He is what he is. I have dated inexperienced and they had NP pouring on the romance with compliments, love letters, gifts, flowers, etc. You are just with the wrong guy or he isn't that into you, because I know, when a guy is intensely into you, he does make full effort to show it.
TunaCat Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 I am your boyfriend and my ex was you. I am a woman and I struggle with romantic words & guestures, but since it meant so much to my ex, I worked at it. I pushed myself to be more comfortable with the romantic things.I was also uncomfortable when he was romantic with me, but again, I worked on it. What was his childhood like. Were his parents together and did they show affection/say loving words to each other? That kind of thing leaves an impression on children & teens.
basil67 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that you're wrong to think that *most* guys are romantic. Sure, some are and do flowers and compliments - but many others show their love through physical affection, acts of service, gifts or quality time. When I was in my first marriage, I complained that he wasn't romantic in the sense that you are describing. That marriage ended and I am now with a wonderful man who doesn't have a romantic bone in his body - and yet, I am completely content. My being content comes from recognising his love in all the other things he does for me. He doesn't need to give flowers because last night he didn't stay out drinking with the boys all night and came home to spend time with me. This too, is a display of love. As for the failed marriage - with retrospect, I think my desire for 'romance' came from the need to feel appreciated. I really didn't feel appreciated at all. More like a flatmate. 1
Ami1uwant Posted November 7, 2015 Posted November 7, 2015 I know my boyfriend loves me, he just never compliments me and isn't as romantic as most guys, is this normal? Am i comparing things to movies and fake romantic **** too much? Its fine when I hang out with him I feel happy, but once Im not with him I overthink EVERYTHING about the relationship, it may be due to my anxiety and OCD. IS this totally abnormal? I just get sad texting him and stuff but when I'm actually with him (which is unfortunately about once a week) I'm happy. I think I'm overthinking everything but sometimes I just feel so sad that idk what to do. I don't know why I overthink everything when he's not around... I think you have watched too many movies. I am not one to complement so when I say it I mean it. Complements mean something. I don't want them hollow. He nay be Rmantic in different ways that you might not be appreciative of. They are the more little things and being thoughtful.
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