when the thought of sex with him makes you want to vomit....

[Odinani]

Have you ever met somebody you really get along with well, really care about their opinions on stuff and respect them as a person. But then they mention something sexual and you feel nauseous at the mere thought of sex with them?

 

In this case it's a guy I know through work. He's interested in me. I respect him a lot and I wasn't sure whether I felt more than platonic towards him or not. He was talking about sex today (not sex with me but sex in general) -- to be specific he was commenting on a news story that involved a woman giving a man oral. Even hearing him talk about oral made me almost want to vomit up my lunch. The thought of him thinking about me in a sexual way or God forbid him imagining I'd ever give him oral sex made me feel nauseous.

 

I'm guessing there's no hope of me ever fancying him then?!

[LilaMarie]

Yes, no hope girl and it's okay.

[Ami1uwant]

Have you done oral sex?

[LoveRefreshed]

No. No thought of sex with anyone has invoked my up chuck reflex.. I either feel turned on by it or I don't think about it at all.

 

On that note, if you don't want to bang him naturally don't try to force anything with him at all. Also it seems a bit self centered to think he wants to bang you just because talked openly about sex. What makes you think he's interested?

[siriusp]

Have you ever met somebody you really get along with well, really care about their opinions on stuff and respect them as a person. But then they mention something sexual and you feel nauseous at the mere thought of sex with them?

 

In this case it's a guy I know through work. He's interested in me. I respect him a lot and I wasn't sure whether I felt more than platonic towards him or not. He was talking about sex today (not sex with me but sex in general) -- to be specific he was commenting on a news story that involved a woman giving a man oral. Even hearing him talk about oral made me almost want to vomit up my lunch. The thought of him thinking about me in a sexual way or God forbid him imagining I'd ever give him oral sex made me feel nauseous.

 

I'm guessing there's no hope of me ever fancying him then?!

 

Your post made me laugh - this is how I feel about the majority of men. Yuck. Yuck yuck!!! It makes me cringe to think anything sexual about 99% of the male population. When I like someone - that's a different matter.

 

I find it very frustrating that I meet so many good men that I get along great with and have a lot in common with - I have time for them and respect them but sexually nothing could be more repulsive. Why are we made like that?

[Odinani]

No. No thought of sex with anyone has invoked my up chuck reflex.. I either feel turned on by it or I don't think about it at all.

 

On that note, if you don't want to bang him naturally don't try to force anything with him at all. Also it seems a bit self centered to think he wants to bang you just because talked openly about sex. What makes you think he's interested?

 

Maybe the fact he's asked me out on a date and told me I'm "gorgeous" according to him.

[Odinani]

Have you done oral sex?

 

On this guy? Heck no!

[LoveRefreshed]

Maybe the fact he's asked me out on a date and told me I'm "gorgeous" according to him.

 

Aww poor chap. Don't be repulsed by him talking about sex. Fat and ugly people need love too! But certainly don't let him push your boundaries for the sake of being nice. And don't even try to fake it until you make it. Just keep being upfront and telling him you're only friends.

[Odinani]

Aww poor chap. Don't be repulsed by him talking about sex. Fat and ugly people need love too! But certainly don't let him push your boundaries for the sake of being nice. And don't even try to fake it until you make it. Just keep being upfront and telling him you're only friends.

 

It really seemed he was honing in on this sex story to get a reaction out of me. Like he specifically wanted to talk about sex to me. Oh dear.

 

I think I showed no reaction at all. He was looking at me expectantly for a little while and then he changed the subject. Awkward.

 

Can men not tell when you're just not into them in that way?

[xxoo]

It really seemed he was honing in on this sex story to get a reaction out of me. Like he specifically wanted to talk about sex to me. Oh dear.

 

I think I showed no reaction at all. He was looking at me expectantly for a little while and then he changed the subject. Awkward.

 

Can men not tell when you're just not into them in that way?

 

Many really can not. They project their own desires onto you, and interpret a smile or kindness as interest.

 

An exaggerated "Ewwwww!!!!" when he talks about sexual topics may help. Retching noises, too!

[LoveRefreshed]

I'd skip the ewe and tell him you only appreciate thee convos with your lover (if true)

[SwordofFlame]

Or as stated in another thread here, lie and say you have a boyfriend.

[losangelena]

I'd skip the ewe and tell him you only appreciate thee convos with your lover (if true)

 

Agreed. Saying "eww" and making retching noises is really quite immature.

 

Just change the subject if you'd rather not talk about sex.

[Odinani]

I think it's best to be upfront about these things and make it clear I'm not interested and don't want to talk about that stuff with him.

 

I've noticed some guys (I'm talking platonic acquaintances, not love interest) really love to steer the conversation around to really quite graphic sex talk. It doesn't feel comfortable and I'm not sure what they are hoping to get out of it really.

[kismetkismet]

Not quite as severe as wanting to 'vomit' haha, but definitely got the icks from thinking about them having sex with myself or anyone else. I actually kind of feel like that about my best male friend.. we get along in every way possible and are basically the female/male versions of each other, and he's not even bad looking! But for some reason the thought of him having sex weirds me out extremely. Maybe how people feel about their brothers? I don't have one so I'm not sure. But it's like he is just an asexual being in my mind. He has also never hit on me though, or expressed any romantic interest.

[jen1447]

I've found 'the look' does the job best. 'The look' can be anything in any situation, but in this one it would be direct eye contact that non-verbally challenges the presumptions of the speaker. It shouldn't be resting bitchface but it also shouldn't show any sort of commonality.

 

Direct approach is best bc that way there can be no real doubt about it, unlike avoidance tactics.

[xxoo]

I think it's best to be upfront about these things and make it clear I'm not interested and don't want to talk about that stuff with him.

 

I've noticed some guys (I'm talking platonic acquaintances, not love interest) really love to steer the conversation around to really quite graphic sex talk. It doesn't feel comfortable and I'm not sure what they are hoping to get out of it really.

 

It could be his way of awkwardly flirting.

 

Some men seem to enjoy making women feel uncomfortable, though. Creepy, if you ask me. I wouldn't worry about being rude in return.