Although I told my boyfriend that i'm willing to be w/him through his hardships, he

[MiaMckenz]

my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. He's 28 and i'm 26. He's financial situation basically sucks and it's always been that way since we've been together. He doesn't make much money at all and pays for alot. I make more than him so i'm almost always the one who pays for everything when we go out. Fast forwarding to now, he's feeling overwhelmed over his financial situation and he feels like he needs to make his situation better alone. This hurts sooo bad because i've been with him for years now and the situation is the same, so why break things off now. I told him that we should break up over money, and i know that things will get better eventually. He knows i'm frustrated, but i'm willing to stick by him. We had this conversation last week, but things haven't been the same. He's been really distant. Yesterday he told me that he knows how much he loves me, he knows he's going to marry me, and how he's going to propose but he feels like he needs to be single right now. He said that it's okay if i date other people cause he knows that's going to happen, but for me just to know that he will be the boyfriend i need him to be and we can move forward with our future when he gets his financial situation together. I just don't agree. Again, I've been with him all along. I just don't know why we can't be together. I understand if he needs space while he's going through this, like i shouldn't mention him being distant and stuff, but i don't think we should end things

[ExpatInItaly]

my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. He's 28 and i'm 26. He's financial situation basically sucks and it's always been that way since we've been together. He doesn't make much money at all and pays for alot. I make more than him so i'm almost always the one who pays for everything when we go out. Fast forwarding to now, he's feeling overwhelmed over his financial situation and he feels like he needs to make his situation better alone. This hurts sooo bad because i've been with him for years now and the situation is the same, so why break things off now. I told him that we should break up over money, and i know that things will get better eventually. He knows i'm frustrated, but i'm willing to stick by him. We had this conversation last week, but things haven't been the same. He's been really distant. Yesterday he told me that he knows how much he loves me, he knows he's going to marry me, and how he's going to propose but he feels like he needs to be single right now. He said that it's okay if i date other people cause he knows that's going to happen, but for me just to know that he will be the boyfriend i need him to be and we can move forward with our future when he gets his financial situation together. I just don't agree. Again, I've been with him all along. I just don't know why we can't be together. I understand if he needs space while he's going through this, like i shouldn't mention him being distant and stuff, but i don't think we should end things

 

This is what jumped out at me. A man who really doesn't want to lose you doesn't say things like that.

 

I have no doubt that his financial situation is stressing him. But I wonder if there are other factors at play here. Perhaps he feels things have become a little stale? I'm not sure. How has the relationship been otherwise?

 

The bottom line is that you can disagree all you want but if one person doesn't wan the relationship, there's not much we can do. He knows how you feel that you'd stand by him. But evidently he's not comfortable with that.

[LilaMarie]

What can you do? Rhetorical question btw. Nothing, except accept it and maybe move on. If he claims to love you and wants to marry you why would he take the chance of losing you to someone else? You have to know your worth and know that if he's not smart enough to realize that, someone else will....

[acrosstheuniverse]

He's dumped you, doesn't really matter why. All that matter is he is willing to let you go and risk losing you to another guy. That to me says that this is more about him losing his feelings for you overall and not wishing to be together any longer, and using finances as a smokescreen. People do this stuff all of the time, they don't feel like they want to be with their partner anymore so they'll pick whatever seems the most realistic reason to blame for the breakup, so that the other person can't argue them out of it and it gets to take the heat off the real reason. You can't change that he doesn't want to be with you anymore.

[Ami1uwant]

This is what jumped out at me. A man who really doesn't want to lose you doesn't say things like that.

 

I have no doubt that his financial situation is stressing him. But I wonder if there are other factors at play here. Perhaps he feels things have become a little stale? I'm not sure. How has the relationship been otherwise?

 

The bottom line is that you can disagree all you want but if one person doesn't wan the relationship, there's not much we can do. He knows how you feel that you'd stand by him. But evidently he's not comfortable with that.

 

Coming from an actual man.....

 

I have a feeling you haven constantly on him about his finances..directly or indirectly. It bothers him. He may realize 8f he wants to improve his income he likely needs to move.

 

It's not all that weird to say something..I want to devote the next 5 yrs to build my career up then at that time I'll want to get back with you.

 

On the flip side of this you could be pestering him so much that he can't deal with it anymore and he doesn't think you are supportive of him or he doesn't want to open up about it. He wants to end it with you.