treehugger101 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Like when I was single and dating, I know everyone I talked too or dated wanted that person that had their own place, drove, worked, and had a education. Nowadays I am assuming people still want their partner to have these things if not more. Would you date someone that didn't have any of these things? Even above 25? Would you date them, then get tired of them not doing anything or ever changing that you would break up with them?
Siquijor Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 The only thing I would be bothered about is their work ethic. Whether they have their own place, drive a car and have a good education is not important to me. I'd be far more interested in what she is like as a person than what she owned. 1
LilaMarie Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Most guys I've met live with someone (sister, roommates, or parents) so that is not a deal breaker for me. Neither is education. I just want a good person that complements me. Brings out the best in me and is striving to better their life. I feel like I am looking for a unicorn
StBreton Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 If the person is in their 40s and not established at all? Something's going on there that I wouldn't be comfortable being a part of ... I would want all the things you listed and more ... I'm not asking for anything more than what I bring to the table...just not going to date or be involved with someone who has decided to not have their life together. Why do you ask OP? Are you going through a low point?
oberkeat Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 I just think a person has to have their sh*t together before they are relationship material. If you're an unemployed college dropout living with your parents, you're not at a place in life where you would make a good bf or gf. These are minimum qualifications. 3
smackie9 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Since I have all those things, I expect them to have them too....maybe not a college degree, but at least finished high school. I don't like quitters/under achievers.
GemmaUK Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 In my youth I dated men with good work ethics (as I have always had), lived with parents (as I did) or room mates (as I did at times also). I was only educated to college level so degrees etc have never mattered to me. I don't drive, that was a weird story from the start and turned into a long and expensive story - one which I had to relinquish. I always date pretty much my own age group give or take a year or two and I am now 46. In recent years I dated a man of 45 who was educated to high school level, he had no job, lived in a rented room and didn't drive. I also dated two other men (42 & 38) with jobs but one lived with his parents, the other with his aunt, both were only school educated, both drove. Both did not stay through high school. I would prefer' to date someone with a good work ethic and his own place (like I have) who is educated to about my level and didn't quit school before legal leaving age. I don't care if he drives or not. They are not easy to find though!!
smackie9 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Ya at 45 the dating pool has some slim pickins....so glad I'm still married. BUT if I were single I would date younger that's for sure.
Haydn Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 I have never expected anything. All the girls I have met have been different. Accept the differences. Makes the world go round.
DKT3 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Ya at 45 the dating pool has some slim pickins....so glad I'm still married. BUT if I were single I would date younger that's for sure. I bet you wouldn't for long. The idea is better then the reality. Trying to figure out what people want is like trying to count blade's of grass from an airplane. Besides it's not ones job to figure out what the person your dating wants, its about being yourself and them accepting you for it or moving the F on. Never, ever attempt to change who you are for anyone your dating. You simply can't be sustainable, and will lead to looking for who you are down the road.
GemmaUK Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 I bet you wouldn't for long. The idea is better then the reality. To be really honest on OLD and RL I avoid anyone more than abut 3 years younger but actually they are much more respectful. My age and even only slightly older now = brazen, crude, rude and it turns me right off. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Working is only negotiable if the guy is blatantly between jobs, perhaps a couple weeks after being made redundant, with some applications in progress, but I'd hold back from making anything official until they were employed in case my perception was off and they were actually just a bum that knew how to play the 'I'm between jobs' attitude. Their own place, well I would never date anyone who lived with parents, but happily would date someone with housemates in a shared situation. That's not an issue and most people I know my age (mid-late twenties) share if not in a relationship as it's so expensive to live alone. Driving, I would only date someone who was working towards their license if they didn't already have it. I wouldn't date anyone again who didn't drive and had no desire to. If someone had a driving license but no car depending on finances or necessity that'd probably be okay, it's not so much a guy having a car, it's knowing that when he's ready to get one he can drive it, or he can contribute his fair share when we hire a car on holiday.
Odinani Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 To be really honest on OLD and RL I avoid anyone more than abut 3 years younger but actually they are much more respectful. My age and even only slightly older now = brazen, crude, rude and it turns me right off. In what ways are they brazen and crude?
Odinani Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Working is only negotiable if the guy is blatantly between jobs, perhaps a couple weeks after being made redundant, with some applications in progress, but I'd hold back from making anything official until they were employed in case my perception was off and they were actually just a bum that knew how to play the 'I'm between jobs' attitude. Their own place, well I would never date anyone who lived with parents, but happily would date someone with housemates in a shared situation. That's not an issue and most people I know my age (mid-late twenties) share if not in a relationship as it's so expensive to live alone. Driving, I would only date someone who was working towards their license if they didn't already have it. I wouldn't date anyone again who didn't drive and had no desire to. If someone had a driving license but no car depending on finances or necessity that'd probably be okay, it's not so much a guy having a car, it's knowing that when he's ready to get one he can drive it, or he can contribute his fair share when we hire a car on holiday. That's interesting. It matters not a jot to me whether somebody can drive or not or has a car. I live in central London. Why does anybody need a car here? But I wouldn't date somebody who still lived in a flat share. Having one's own place seems way more of a priority than running a car in a city that already has adequate public transport.
acrosstheuniverse Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 That's interesting. It matters not a jot to me whether somebody can drive or not or has a car. I live in central London. Why does anybody need a car here? But I wouldn't date somebody who still lived in a flat share. Having one's own place seems way more of a priority than running a car in a city that already has adequate public transport. I understand it a lot more when it comes to London yes, as public transport is frequent and reliable. But what if you want to move out into the rest of the country? Or hire a car on holiday? Or hire a removals van together? I just think having a drivers license is a basic adult skill these days, it's really strange for me to meet anyone who doesn't have it. Being able to get yourself about without relying on anybody else (including public transportation drivers) is a really important thing to have. I'm amazed you meet anyone in London who DOESN'T live in a flat share haha, the rents are insane! I don't know anyone in London who lives alone, literally not one person. To me, if you have housemates you still have your own place, you have responsibility for your share of the bills etc. it's a lot different from living with family.
LoveRefreshed Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Like when I was single and dating, I know everyone I talked too or dated wanted that person that had their own place, drove, worked, and had a education. Nowadays I am assuming people still want their partner to have these things if not more. Would you date someone that didn't have any of these things? Even above 25? Would you date them, then get tired of them not doing anything or ever changing that you would break up with them? Nothing on my list is material. Don't care about a car. Don't care if she lives alone. I am Al neil young here. I am searching for a heart of gold. A woman who will love me with all of herself and make me feel great to be me. Oh and a nice ass and a pretty face who laughs with me and enjoys our time together. The rest is insignificant.
Odinani Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 I understand it a lot more when it comes to London yes, as public transport is frequent and reliable. But what if you want to move out into the rest of the country? Or hire a car on holiday? Or hire a removals van together? I just think having a drivers license is a basic adult skill these days, it's really strange for me to meet anyone who doesn't have it. Being able to get yourself about without relying on anybody else (including public transportation drivers) is a really important thing to have. I'm amazed you meet anyone in London who DOESN'T live in a flat share haha, the rents are insane! I don't know anyone in London who lives alone, literally not one person. To me, if you have housemates you still have your own place, you have responsibility for your share of the bills etc. it's a lot different from living with family. What age group are you in?
acrosstheuniverse Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 What age group are you in? Mid-late twenties.
Odinani Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Mid-late twenties. I'm a little older. Early 30s.
GemmaUK Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 In what ways are they brazen and crude? I will pm you if you wish but this is not the kind of thing I would post on here. 1
Odinani Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 I will pm you if you wish but this is not the kind of thing I would post on here. Sure please PM me if you can
empresario Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 There was a similar topic a few days ago. Honestly, I just really want someone that's going to make me a better person for being around them. I don't care if they are educated. I don't care what they do for a living or when they aren't around me. I just want to feel like we have passion and are on a life journey together...not that I am dragging them along. 1
ManyDissapoint Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 for me she has to cook and cook well. she also has to pass my basic intelligence test.
basil67 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Like when I was single and dating, I know everyone I talked too or dated wanted that person that had their own place, drove, worked, and had a education. Nowadays I am assuming people still want their partner to have these things if not more. Would you date someone that didn't have any of these things? Even above 25? Would you date them, then get tired of them not doing anything or ever changing that you would break up with them? Above the age of 25? I wouldn't necessarily expect anything more than a High School education because not everyone is academic. But I would certainly expect them to have moved out of home and have a job. If they didn't have a car, I would want them to be self sufficient and not expect me to be their chauffeur. If they couldn't meet this criteria, I wouldn't bother. The one exception to all of this would be if they had a disability which prevented all of this happening.
LilaMarie Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 she also has to pass my basic intelligence test. I'm just curious, what does your basic intelligence test consist off? Test me! Just for fun, I wanna see if I pass (I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer so I won't be offended if I fail your test)
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