canucks52 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Alright me and my gf have been dating for just over a year now. I'm 23 and she is 20. This is my first serious relationship and my first love. She is an awesome girl who loves me a lot but recently I haven't been the happiest. She has some issues with parents as her dad left her family recently and has hit her really hard. I feel pretty smothered and feel like her issues have been taking a toll on me. I just started grad school 2.5 months ago and seems like we've become more distant and recently I've been starting to have attraction/feelings to another girl in my class as well and recently when very drunk told her I had feelings for her. like I don't really look forward to seeing my gf much anymore. wouldn't call it an obligation but seems like it's headed that way. My main issue is that she hasn't done anything wrong and she is the type of girl that would literally do anything for me and is madly in love with me, yet I'm just not that into her anymore. at one point I thought she would be the girl I would marry but have been having doubts considering my feelings towards other girls or just don't know if this is one of those grass is greener on the other side situation.
d0nnivain Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 It's not a fault based concept or that somebody did something wrong. You are in grad school now. Your world is expanding. Certain things in her life changed. You may simply be drifting apart.
empresario Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Alright me and my gf have been dating for just over a year now. I'm 23 and she is 20. This is my first serious relationship and my first love. She is an awesome girl who loves me a lot but recently I haven't been the happiest. She has some issues with parents as her dad left her family recently and has hit her really hard. I feel pretty smothered and feel like her issues have been taking a toll on me. I just started grad school 2.5 months ago and seems like we've become more distant and recently I've been starting to have attraction/feelings to another girl in my class as well and recently when very drunk told her I had feelings for her. like I don't really look forward to seeing my gf much anymore. wouldn't call it an obligation but seems like it's headed that way. My main issue is that she hasn't done anything wrong and she is the type of girl that would literally do anything for me and is madly in love with me, yet I'm just not that into her anymore. at one point I thought she would be the girl I would marry but have been having doubts considering my feelings towards other girls or just don't know if this is one of those grass is greener on the other side situation. I've told this story before but I won't make you search for it. I was once dating a girl for 3 years that was perfect for me in every way. We were best friends, and she was nothing but sincere, honest, and good to me. But after 3 years I changed into a different person while she remained the same. She wanted to teach for the next 30 years, get married, and pop out kids. I was an entrepreneur just starting my third company and too busy to function let alone think about the next 1 year. And at the end of the day I just wasn't attracted to her any longer. I broke it off with her. It was tough. I still miss her, especially right now since her birthday is coming up (which was our first date). But it was for the best...not only for me but for her. Since we broke up 2 years ago she has now quit teaching and moved to California to pursue some personal dreams. If she were with me she wouldn't be able to discover herself like she has, and I'm proud of her for that. I still miss her friendship, but know we are both in a better place for it. So, maybe you need to do the same thing. It will work out. Sociologically, it takes 12 months to be as happy after a breakup as you were in the relationship (if the relationship itself was happy). She will recover. So will you. And you will have some regrets...but not as many 'what ifs' that you will if you stay. It's not fair to either of you to continue this charade. End it while you still have your honor. 1
Redhead14 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Alright me and my gf have been dating for just over a year now. I'm 23 and she is 20. This is my first serious relationship and my first love. She is an awesome girl who loves me a lot but recently I haven't been the happiest. She has some issues with parents as her dad left her family recently and has hit her really hard. I feel pretty smothered and feel like her issues have been taking a toll on me. I just started grad school 2.5 months ago and seems like we've become more distant and recently I've been starting to have attraction/feelings to another girl in my class as well and recently when very drunk told her I had feelings for her. like I don't really look forward to seeing my gf much anymore. wouldn't call it an obligation but seems like it's headed that way. My main issue is that she hasn't done anything wrong and she is the type of girl that would literally do anything for me and is madly in love with me, yet I'm just not that into her anymore. at one point I thought she would be the girl I would marry but have been having doubts considering my feelings towards other girls or just don't know if this is one of those grass is greener on the other side situation. You are simply too young to be thinking about a long-term committed relationship. The fact is you haven't experienced enough for yourself in anything, let alone relationships. Your lack of experience in general is what's causing you to not know how to deal with a partner who is stressed out. And, her lack of experience in dealing with stressful events is causing her to not be the partner she needs to be. Bottomline, you're both too young. You each need to experience more things in life, get a sense of who you each are first.
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