deni9 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 I've dated many men, and i prefer the older ones who are educated and have goals and faith. Welp, with that being said; i was dating a guy for 10 months. He is a Realtor/Caddy at the Golf course. IN the beginning, amazing. TOO amazing. He really did try to be the "Perfect" guy till reality hit him and noticed that he was putting too much time in me and not in his family and work. Right now, he is working and going back to school to renew is license in Realestate for the Spring. He does not pay attention to me. He works almost 12 hours calls me 2xs and we hardly see each other because he is always doing something. I know the man, loves me. I know he has a lot going on. His mom is always wanting his attention and help, Brother is screwing up his mom and making her insane and asking for money to her or him. He's just a screw up. and the 3 (mom, bro and him) and a toxic relationship. He is a great man. But i don't know if he's actually ready to have a relationship. Not to mention i am his FIRST gf. He is 29 years old.... Always been busy and picky. I can't take it anymore. as a women i want attention. I miss when he would compliment me, or be so willing to be with me when i needed someone. Its not the same. Am I being selfish? Asking for too much? What do i do? I feel like i am in the wrong, but my gosh...i want to be touch, have sex, talk, all the good stuff. Just want to be called beautiful again... I HATE that guys that i work with, are drooling and waiting for me to be single again.. i am only 23... is this how it is? Like when you get REAL serious, there is no intimacy? or what? H-E-L-P M-E! so any who, i told him that i was sorry and couldn't do this anymore. and he was in shock and told me that he loves and does misses me but these are things "we" (as a couple) have to do. and apologized as well.. He can be clueless since he's never been in a relationship before. If i do choose to be with him, would it ever change? His mom is a realtor as well and she was extremely busy and divorced 2x and now single like a dollar bill. i need attention if I'm going to be with someone and affection. IF not, then i would go crazy and try to fight temptation and i don't want that.
Redhead14 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 I've dated many men, and i prefer the older ones who are educated and have goals and faith. Welp, with that being said; i was dating a guy for 10 months. He is a Realtor/Caddy at the Golf course. IN the beginning, amazing. TOO amazing. He really did try to be the "Perfect" guy till reality hit him and noticed that he was putting too much time in me and not in his family and work. Right now, he is working and going back to school to renew is license in Realestate for the Spring. He does not pay attention to me. He works almost 12 hours calls me 2xs and we hardly see each other because he is always doing something. I know the man, loves me. I know he has a lot going on. His mom is always wanting his attention and help, Brother is screwing up his mom and making her insane and asking for money to her or him. He's just a screw up. and the 3 (mom, bro and him) and a toxic relationship. He is a great man. But i don't know if he's actually ready to have a relationship. Not to mention i am his FIRST gf. He is 29 years old.... Always been busy and picky. I can't take it anymore. as a women i want attention. I miss when he would compliment me, or be so willing to be with me when i needed someone. Its not the same. Am I being selfish? Asking for too much? What do i do? I feel like i am in the wrong, but my gosh...i want to be touch, have sex, talk, all the good stuff. Just want to be called beautiful again... I HATE that guys that i work with, are drooling and waiting for me to be single again.. i am only 23... is this how it is? Like when you get REAL serious, there is no intimacy? or what? H-E-L-P M-E! so any who, i told him that i was sorry and couldn't do this anymore. and he was in shock and told me that he loves and does misses me but these are things "we" (as a couple) have to do. and apologized as well.. He can be clueless since he's never been in a relationship before. If i do choose to be with him, would it ever change? His mom is a realtor as well and she was extremely busy and divorced 2x and now single like a dollar bill. i need attention if I'm going to be with someone and affection. IF not, then i would go crazy and try to fight temptation and i don't want that. He does not pay attention to me. and we hardly see each other So, how do you know he loves you????? but these are things "we" (as a couple) have to do -- That doesn't make any sense -- there is nothing "couple-like" about this scenario. till reality hit him and noticed that he was putting too much time in me -- yes, sometimes people start becoming so engrossed in another person and neglecting other things, however, a person who really likes the other person, will figure out a way to balance their time between you and those other things -- not put you on the back burner . . .
Author deni9 Posted November 6, 2015 Author Posted November 6, 2015 What he means by these are things "we" have to do is if we want a big wealthy future (wedding, children, home, lifestyle) we have to put all the work now and save up till the spring comes where Realestate starts again for his business. We sacrifice our time now for the future he has good intentions. my concern is putting up with it. figured someone who experienced a situation as this one can give me advice.
Redhead14 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 What he means by these are things "we" have to do is if we want a big wealthy future (wedding, children, home, lifestyle) we have to put all the work now and save up till the spring comes where Realestate starts again for his business. We sacrifice our time now for the future he has good intentions. my concern is putting up with it. figured someone who experienced a situation as this one can give me advice. Has he asked you to marry him? Your relationship has not developed enough to the point of being "self-sustaining". In other words, your bond is not strong enough yet to stand the test of making these kinds of "sacrifices". The guy needs to be willing to balance things better to include you more if he is serious about a long-term relationship with you. He can't completely side-line you. If he is that committed and preparing for the future, he should do that first. Get that in order, then start a relationship. He wants you to wait it out without being able to spend time and grow the relationship. It will die on the vine . . . 1
Author deni9 Posted November 6, 2015 Author Posted November 6, 2015 so im not crazy! He makes me feel like i am! and I've asked him, why are you dating me? why did he even attempt to. He simply replied "I thought i was ready" So, i told him we should just get our own lives figured out (I'm in school and working and have a kid) and he can work his butt off and be there for his mom, bro and dad all he wants. I just felt like such a burden. He has talked about marriage and wants all that, he brought it up before i did. But I'm starting to realize that I'm scared of the whole marriage thing and would rather just take everything so slow. Thank you so much for you time.
Redhead14 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 so im not crazy! He makes me feel like i am! and I've asked him, why are you dating me? why did he even attempt to. He simply replied "I thought i was ready" So, i told him we should just get our own lives figured out (I'm in school and working and have a kid) and he can work his butt off and be there for his mom, bro and dad all he wants. I just felt like such a burden. He has talked about marriage and wants all that, he brought it up before i did. But I'm starting to realize that I'm scared of the whole marriage thing and would rather just take everything so slow. Thank you so much for you time. I just felt like such a burden. -- Exactly, and so does he or else he would have been doing more for you . . . there were other things that could be pushed off his plate to relieve his burden, make room, but he chose to put push you off the plate instead.
GemmaUK Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 This isn't sounding good. It's all very well planning for a future but planning for a future and ignoring the now means there isn't really a relationship. If this is how he is now then any time you make any plan I would be wondering whether the relationship goes on hold for it. Someone said on here that the relationship you have now IS the relationship you have. I need closeness, intimacy and to have fun with a partner (these have eluded me in my own bad choices the past few years! Lol!) ut that can still be done when you have plans for a future. Is his Dad in the mix? You didn't mention him. Sounds like he might be following his Mum's path but that maybe his bro is more like his Dad?
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