abandoned_heart Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 When an ex breaks up with you and tells you it's because you were just too good for him, what does that mean? In my case, everyone pretty much could tell from the beginning that I could've caught a "better fish" than he. It did bother him, but I didn't think he would dump me for it. I believed that it was just a matter of learning from each other. I had so much faith. But after everything, in the end he did dump me for a girl who had a lot more in common with him than I did. It makes sense, even though it's painful. But part of me still wonders why any guy would prefer to stay where he was instead of being with someone who could help him gain a higher position in society's pecking order. I guess it's a matter of different people valuing different things?
Merin Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by abandoned_heart When an ex breaks up with you and tells you it's because you were just too good for him, what does that mean? It means you should believe him. Honestly it may be that he just was more comfortable with someone who shared more of his interest... and believe it or not gaining a higher position in society isn't on the top 10 for everyone.. while it's good to go IF you feel that way, he just wasn't all about it... Regardless.. take him at his word that you're to good for him and move on... Hang in there
broken guy Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 I personally believe it to be a VERY poor excuse. Thats what I got after 4 years. 4 years of her saying "I cant think why your with me and not someone more fun" and "Your just gonna leave me for the next best thing that comes along". It just their way of making themselves feel less guilty. If I was too good then they should hold onto me or just say "Ive deceided to downgrade my partner". Stupid, pathetic and childlike..
TheBarnacle Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by Merin It means you should believe him. no doubt. he obviously has some insecurity/issues about this. you're better off finding someone who thinks they're "worthy"...or whatever. don't sweat him.
scarlyjones Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 The "Im not worthy" breakup is bull, I think. I think its a way to break up that makes it easier for the one doing the "breaking". They get to get out of the relationship while complementing you. They obviously didnt like the relaionship.
Author abandoned_heart Posted May 26, 2005 Author Posted May 26, 2005 Thank you for the replies... Yeah... it's an excuse to feel less guilty... especially because he got caught lying and cheating on me. He was forced to choose between me and the other girl and he chose her, even though it's plain that I could have given him the unconventional life he desired, while the other girl was so... so.... dime a dozen. That said, he chose her because he knew we were mismatched. Fromt eh start it was obvious, but we were in love and deliriously hopeful. But I think I was a bit too unconventional for him. Too ambitious. Definitely too challenging to keep up with. It just makes me mad. I gave so much of myself to a loser!!!!
fundamental Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by abandoned_heart Thank you for the replies... Yeah... it's an excuse to feel less guilty... especially because he got caught lying and cheating on me. He was forced to choose between me and the other girl and he chose her, even though it's plain that I could have given him the unconventional life he desired, while the other girl was so... so.... dime a dozen. That said, he chose her because he knew we were mismatched. Fromt eh start it was obvious, but we were in love and deliriously hopeful. But I think I was a bit too unconventional for him. Too ambitious. Definitely too challenging to keep up with. It just makes me mad. I gave so much of myself to a loser!!!! Well, if he was lying and cheating, the he is right, you were too good for him, you deserve better.
cansympathise Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 I've heard the words before. I'm a professional earning a good income, my boy is a non-professional earning a not so good income. I'm middle class, he's blue collar. It sounds clcihed, but we met at a very unlikely place and kinda fell for each other by accident. He almost broke it off several times for reasons relating to our past - my income made him uncomfortable, my friends made him uncomfortable, he felt he always had to checking his behaviour around me, his life got more stressful because he actually went out and tried to get a better job. Oh, and then there was how he deliberately avoided introducing me to his family cause he thought I'd hate them and think badly of him. I actually heard the words "you're too good for me..." followed by something like "I feel I don't measure up..." We got over these issues by talking - and because I am persistant and stubborn and wouldn't let him get away! Still, the relationship never really went anywhere until he got a promotion and felt that he was "worthy of me." I don't get it, but most of my friends but it down to that whole male ego thing. Sigh.
lindya Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 Originally posted by fundamental Well, if he was lying and cheating, the he is right, you were too good for him, you deserve better. If he doesn't have a problem with lying and cheating, he's not going to be comfortable with someone who takes an honest and straightforward approach to life. This other girl's most dazzling quality could well be that she doesn't challenge his loose moral code and apparently lethargic approach to life. She might even share it.
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