Maalik Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 (edited) So I met this girl at work this year. At first, I didn't want to talk to her because she came off as unattainable and like one of those girls who were searching for the perfect guy. But we ended up talking to each other at work. First, hi and byes. Then short conversations. Before long, we were good friends. She would routinely sneak back into my work area and spend time talking to me. One night we stayed with each other talking for 2 hours. This led to her giving me her number. We would text and talk to each other all day and night. Roughly 3-5 days we'd talk or text on the phone. On average, she'd text me 30-40 times throughout the day. Somedays....and I won't lie it kinda got annoying but I liked her......she'd text me 80 times. We got extremely close. Told each other everything about ourselves. She'd follow me around at work flirting every time we worked together. She'd like everything I put on Facebook and Instagram, always posting things on my wall or sending them to me in text. I'm a really shy person. I have to work on that. I finally worked up enough nerve to ask her out after we spent 3-4 months doing this everyday. I asked her to a museum first. Now she said "Yes" but I kinda got the vibe that she was only saying yes out of pity. We never went. Our schedules conflicted. Then I asked her out to go see a movie. She was hesitant at first because I suggested a scary movie but, when I told her we could see anything, she said yes. Again, it felt weird, like I was begging her. So when I'm asking what time and day was good for her, she said her whole weekend was booked and said sorry. I hung up afterward. I felt like if she was interested she would've found time or at least offered for next week but, she didn't. So I was pissed and I didn't speak to her for two weeks, at work or outside of it. Keep in mind, when I asked her out to the movie, she had talked to me for three hours that day. So....it was weird at work. Awkward silence from both of us. Cold War silence. Eventually I decided to offer an olive branch because I didn't want to ruin our work environment so I told her we were still cool eventhough I was still kinda upset with her. So she went back to liking everything I put on FB and IG. Though we haven't talked on the phone in 2 weeks now. I try to keep our conversations polite but, short at work. But she tries to extend them. She tries to find reasons to talk to me like asking obvious questions (she's worked there longer than me) or talking about really mundane things or continuing the conversation when I'm about to walk away. I catch her staring at me. She'll stand really close to me and will take the long way just to walk in front of me when she could've walked the other shorter way. She says a bunch of flirty things. Things that make me uncomfortable seeing as she knows how I feel about her yet, she rejected me. Like yesterday, I did her a small favor. And a simple thanks would have sufficed. But she said that I saved her. And that I'm always saving her. And in like a flirty, seductive tone. I walked away while she was still talking. I'm just annoyed by it. I asked her out. She brushed me off and acted like she wasn't interested at all. Yet she acts like a tease and a flirt at work. I don't understand this girl. Edited November 6, 2015 by Maalik
Buddhist Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 (edited) You know what? 90% of the time when a woman's giving mixed signals she's not actually giving signals at all. She's just enjoying your company on the level its offered. Unfortunately a lot of guys misconstrue any attention at all as romantic attention. Keep in mind there is such a thing as a female who enjoys talking to you and doesnt want to get into your pants. These are called friends. Edited November 6, 2015 by Buddhist 1
EricaH329 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 You know what? 90% of the time when a woman's giving mixed signals she's not actually giving signals at all. She's just enjoying your company on the level its offered. Unfortunately a lot of guys misconstrue any attention at all as romantic attention. Keep in mind there is such a thing as a female who enjoys talking to you and doesnt want to get into your pants. These are called friends. ^^ Agreed!! OP - I think you should stop ignoring her. It comes off a bit immature, and to be honest with you - you don't have a reason to ignore her. Just because someone says 'no' to hanging out, doesn't mean you should ignore them. Especially since you work with her. Going forward, you should consider your friendship just as it is - a friendship. Yes, she may be flirty, but perhaps that's just her personality.
Inaa Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 I felt like if she was interested she would've found time or at least offered for next week but, she didn't. And that's your answer. She doesn't have time for you = she doesn't like you. She could be one of those women who need men's attention to feel more beautiful and wanted... don't be surprised if she starts even more seeking for your attention once you totally give up on her.
truth_seeker Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 She could be one of those women who need men's attention to feel more beautiful and wanted... don't be surprised if she starts even more seeking for your attention once you totally give up on her. OP this will more than likely happen. Do yourself a favor, since you work with her and have to see her, be nice and let her know you're on to better things, ie, another woman has your attention. Seems like you're the type you have to have that mental edge. If you let her know you're interested in pursuing this new woman, it will get under her skin. Whether she likes you or not, it will bother her as women don't like it when a man tells them how they're into another woman.
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