Livinglife23 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Ok first off I have alot of love and respect for my now ex girlfriend. We broke up about 3 weeks ago due to the fact we are not on the same page. I will try not to make this long but basically she wanted to move in with me and I'm just not ready. Not only was I not ready but she can't help me with bills at all. When I got my apartment during the summer she basically stayed everyday slept there every night she of course had her own place but was never there she asked for a key 3 weeks after I got my new place I simply said no. Later the discussion of moving together all they way came up I simply explained to her I am not ready for that that convo got pretty intense. No arguing just breaking down points on why and why not which led to her crying saying we are not on the same page. Her argument was basically shes there everyday anyway which was true but me trying to be a good guy I told her I love her and I would never kick you out or say no you can't come over no matter how many times you want to. We are a couple. So time past and I start to think about the situation more leaning towards saying yes then all of a sudden she comes to me about quiting her full time job and going back to school...remind you in my head i been really thinking about letting her move in. So I asked her how you going to pay your bills your lease not up and you have a 2015 car and if you live with me how are you going to help me pay anything by going to school full time and working a part time? Just a side not she kind of have some financial issues. She can't pay her bills even tho she works full time she's in debt and she really doesnt have any money. So i can't really knock her that much for trying to better herself by going back to school. So while we're sitting down talking about this situation she basically tells me her decision is final that is what she wants to do with her life (so i dont know why she even talked to me about it) she already signed the papers to go to school. So im like okkkkkk? I told her in that same convo I have been thinking about the move in situation and if you cannot help me then you CANNOT live here you just need to move back home with your mom. I think i said that to her twice and she said she could help. Time pass she quits her job school havent started yet im still unsure about moving in but it doesnt help when I Know she can't help me with any bills or groceries. And Im not rolling in money but Im good enough to take care of myself and bills and enjoy life. Its no way she can help me with just a part time job that money is just her car payment alone since she has a 2015 car and oh yea I don't. I have a older car with no payments. My father taught me how to manage money well I also live in a very clean upscale apartment and I am not in debt my credit score is great andI pay my bills on time or even early. I do not play when it comes to those type of things because it pays off in the long run. She on the other hand is in debt bad credit score and can't pay her bills on time or at all. But I never judged her for that and I still don't we are both young 24 and 25. So I tell her I don't want to live with her YET. It is not the right time and I am not ready YET and you can't really help me with anything. She goes to say i am not supportive and I led her on and I am selfish and I Make bad decisions after that she told me she loved me alot but she just cant be in a rship with me right now? I been seeing her for 11 months and got in a actual relationship with her for 6 months. I took her to the beach for her birthday paid for everything food hotel and alcohol and asked her to be my girlfriend while we were at the beach her bday weekend. I been paying for every single date we had. Anything we eat at all I pay for. Anything we did together I paid for due to the fact she couldn't. So that was really a slap in the face. We don't talk for about 3 days after she dumped me we get in contact see each other a few times maybe even had sex a couple times say we miss each other. We get into another argument she called me a weak boyfriend because what if she had no where to go. I simply said but you do. I am not your dad or your husband I shouldnt be pressured into doing this. when we were together she did cook some times and clean some times and took the dog out little times. The sex was great tho really great but despite all of this we are still in contact she told me she does not want to stop talking to me or seeing me because she loves me. I want to be with her but i just dont think its the right time to live together. She knows i want to be with her but says we cant because we are not on the same page (living together) but if her answer ever changes she will let me know. Should I stay in contact with her? I do feel bad that somebody loves me so much that they want to live with me and I just shut her down so I don't know what to do I just know in my gut it didn't feel like the right thing was letting her move in.
Truth34 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Most people will say no. Quit talking to her. She seemed to dump you for different reasons than lack of interest, which is somewhat out of the norm. But if you guys still flirt and have sex then It's really up to you. It seems like you can still get along well in your current state, so do what you want with it. Just know that being a 2nd option, if that comes up, is never where you want to be placed. So for your self respect, if things get worse from here I'd have to say move on for now with NC. At the very least dont initiate convos and keep things short when she does contact you.
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