louxor Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 We've maintained a friendly relationship for a while now, and we get along really well - At a level where if she was single I would have asked her out right away. We are in a few of the same classes at university and are part of a bigger group of university friends so we get to hang out outside of class time too. Anyway, she has a boyfriend so I have no interest in trying to make anything happen while that stands, I just treat her like I would with any other friend who I get along well with. However, more recently she has been giving the stock standard signs of being interested in me. We were out with our group of friends the other night and she was doing the whole subtle female flirting stuff - touching my arms, leaning in close, laughing at my jokes, telling me how much she was enjoying the night, playing with her hair etc. I didn't react in the way to these signs that I would have if she was single, because as much as I do like her, I'm not interested while she has a bf. Jump to like a week later, and she has been messaging me pretty constantly. I've been keeping the replies to a max of 1 or 2 per day, partly because I'm busy but also because of the whole she has a bf thing. This limited responding only seems to be making her want to talk to me more and more however. I've tried to end the conversations politely with things like "I'm headed out for the evening so can't talk, but I'll see you next week in class" etc etc but that doesn't work either. So basically I'm wondering - how should I deal with this situation now that she has started to persue me? I don't want to react to her actions as I don't mess with taken women, but at the same time I don't want to just ignore her.
CarrieT Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Stop responding to her texts. Tell her she is off limits and then block. If she will cheat with you, she will cheat on you. 1
Glitters Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Start mentioning your girlfriend. If you don't have one, tell this friend that you are interested in someone but be careful that she doesn't think it's her ! Describe the gf completely different than your friend. She will ruin your chances with potential love interest.
flogo Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 What comes around goes around. Don't get involved with a chick that has a boyfriend and vice versa. It will come back to bite you. 1
frus69 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Why do you not want to ignore her? Is it because you want to keep this option open, just in case?
Inaa Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 You like her too? Maybe you could tell her that it makes you uncomfortable when she texts you constantly because she has a boyfriend and it's not right. She might be unhappy with her boyfriend and wants to end things with him?
Author louxor Posted November 6, 2015 Author Posted November 6, 2015 Stop responding to her texts. Tell her she is off limits and then block. If she will cheat with you, she will cheat on you. What comes around goes around. Don't get involved with a chick that has a boyfriend and vice versa. It will come back to bite you. Yeah I know this, I'm not looking in any way to get involved with her while the bf is still around. Why do you not want to ignore her? Is it because you want to keep this option open, just in case? well yeh - If she was single I'd be all over that. I'm not hanging around waiting for her and ignoring my other options that I have available right now, but yeh, if she happened to be single in the future and the same for me then it would be a good option to have open You like her too? Maybe you could tell her that it makes you uncomfortable when she texts you constantly because she has a boyfriend and it's not right. She might be unhappy with her boyfriend and wants to end things with him? That's a good point, ill tell her something along those lines when it next comes up. Thanks
changchewsoon Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 I am in the same exact situation that you are in now, there is this girl whose currently attached to her boyfriend for about 2 years keeps sending me signals that she is interested in me. Like you, I've kept my distance and communications to a sociable acceptable manner. She made no effort to hide her boyfriend from me as occasionally she would mention stuffs about her boyfriend, but in general the conversation always leads to her wondering whether are all men showing the same negative traits that she doesn't like about her boyfriend. What she didn't know is that her cousin is actually very close to a buddy of mine, so I went and checked her up and realized that she's been telling close family members that she's thinking of dumping her boyfriend for a while. Thing is, if she wants to go out and explore, the right thing for her to do first is to break up with her current boyfriend so she's single and will be free to explore with whoever she wants. What really irks me are girls who doesn't want to let go of the current guy until they are able to find another one to move on to. I am not saying that the current girl you are talking to is like this, but you need to keep your distance and observe from far.
Zippy2000 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 We've maintained a friendly relationship for a while now, and we get along really well - At a level where if she was single I would have asked her out right away. We are in a few of the same classes at university and are part of a bigger group of university friends so we get to hang out outside of class time too. Anyway, she has a boyfriend so I have no interest in trying to make anything happen while that stands, I just treat her like I would with any other friend who I get along well with. However, more recently she has been giving the stock standard signs of being interested in me. We were out with our group of friends the other night and she was doing the whole subtle female flirting stuff - touching my arms, leaning in close, laughing at my jokes, telling me how much she was enjoying the night, playing with her hair etc. I didn't react in the way to these signs that I would have if she was single, because as much as I do like her, I'm not interested while she has a bf. Jump to like a week later, and she has been messaging me pretty constantly. I've been keeping the replies to a max of 1 or 2 per day, partly because I'm busy but also because of the whole she has a bf thing. This limited responding only seems to be making her want to talk to me more and more however. I've tried to end the conversations politely with things like "I'm headed out for the evening so can't talk, but I'll see you next week in class" etc etc but that doesn't work either. So basically I'm wondering - how should I deal with this situation now that she has started to persue me? I don't want to react to her actions as I don't mess with taken women, but at the same time I don't want to just ignore her. GREAT SCOTT! There is nothing in you post to suggest these are definite signs she is interested in you. Girls are allowed to touch your arm, to lean in close, tell you how much they are enjoying the night and play with their hair. It doesnt mean she fancies you! Got over yourself and do NOTHING. Just be her friend. If she was interested in you she would have asked you out. She she`s you as a friend and nothing lese but because you see her as a member of the opposite sex. You think there is something there whilst there isnt. 1
Buddhist Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 So basically I'm wondering - how should I deal with this situation now that she has started to persue me? I don't want to react to her actions as I don't mess with taken women, but at the same time I don't want to just ignore her. Realise that if she's messaging and flirting with you while she has a boyfriend then she will do the same thing to you, if you become her boyfriend. She's a chronic attention seeker and this will not change. It might be flattering to be on your present end of it but it's not real, it's just here getting attention to fill a void. This has heartbreak for you written all over it. See her behaviour as a sign that she isn't worth your time pursuing.
frus69 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 well yeh - If she was single I'd be all over that. I'm not hanging around waiting for her and ignoring my other options that I have available right now, but yeh, if she happened to be single in the future and the same for me then it would be a good option to have open Even after knowing she does this kind of things (flirting with other guys probably trying to get with other guys while having a BF), you still like her? 1
kendahke Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 So basically I'm wondering - how should I deal with this situation now that she has started to persue me? I don't want to react to her actions as I don't mess with taken women, but at the same time I don't want to just ignore her. If you don't mess with taken women, then don't mess with them. Don't respond to her texts. Forget what you don't want: You need to just ignore her--you are seeing what she will do to you if you were her boyfriend: she would relentlessly pursue other guys behind your back. Is this the kind of character that attracts you? YOu also need to be way more proactive when she starts all of her silly flirting tactics: you need to say to her "how's your boyfriend doing? Where is he?" Really. You need to put her on the spot because what she is doing is really really messed up; and you know it.
kendahke Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Tell her that once she's dumped her boyfriend and has gone through the requisite time to get over that relationship to give you a call. That is what a guy with a good character tells a chick with a messy character. He doesn't try to find a way to have his cake and eat it, too, especially when an innocent party is being kept in the dark about what is going on because that guy with good character wouldn't want the same thing done to him.
truth_seeker Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 So basically I'm wondering - how should I deal with this situation now that she has started to persue me? I don't want to react to her actions as I don't mess with taken women, but at the same time I don't want to just ignore her. Solution: let her know you have a girl. This should anger her (if she likes you) and she'll leave you alone. Scumbag Solution: bang her and don't catch feelings.
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