lala78 Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 This guy has put me through nothing but emotional rollercoasters. We started off very heated things got intense fast, we agreed that we had undeniable chemistry hours of talking, and being very close. The sex was the most amazing, his personality charming, and so warm. One day he told me had something to discuss so I remained calm and figured that whatever he had to say was referring to our relationship, whether he wanted to continue or not (hence make it official) I told myself, no matter the out come I would not get upset because I really would appreciate him as a person no matter what. He invited me at 11pm in his house, which was very suggestive, so to me that signaled that he wanted more. When I came over however, things were the same we were laughing, talking...and then he expressed that he had concerns about hurting his ex’s feelings. Later on, he shook it off said you know what I want to make this official he gave me a necklace we made love and then last minute, he said that he didn’t want to do this how its not fair to his ex girlfriend and I should be kept a secret. I was crushed and had work the next morning, became an emotional wreck, I also screwed up on one of my exams. It took over me. I told him what he did and how he made me feel, and he said that we should talk but didn’t express much urgency. Later on eventually, I didn’t hear from him despite the fact I was pushing for this talk. One day I bumped into him by accident at a friends party, he was leaving to a taxi with someone else, he then texted me and told me the reason why he was so abrupt and broke my heart that day was cause he was trying to be genuine and be truthful for his feelings. He also told me that his was sorting out his feelings and I should “wait”. I told him how that didn’t cut it for me and there was million other ways he could of done that. A week later I start regretting how “harsh” I felt I was to him , so I texted him saying I miss his company want things to be right again, and that I was mad he didn’t tell me about his ex cause I would of approached this relationship differently. I also said to him that we should have make up sex cause I miss him so much. Next thing you know he responds “ I’m not that kind of guy”. I feel so hurt and rejected. He had sex with me this whole time with no title, and all of a sudden his is not that type of a guy its almost as if he wants to discard me, I feel so rejected and desperate. I feel like im the only one that misses him.
Jefoo Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 You decide on the man you want. Can you do better? You decide.
ravfour4 Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 You shouldn't feel bad at all. He's an emotional confused mess who isn't caring about your feelings at all. Telling you he wants to make it official and then instantly backtracking. Also, when someone meets someone they really like, they want to show them off to their ex if anything, not hide them in fear of making their ex feel bad. You did the right thing, no doubt about it. Also, you are ridiculous offering him make up sex. That came off as desperate, "I know you don't like me and care about your ex more, but if I bang you will you take me back?". That wreaked of desperation, learn from this and move on. You can do it!
LostOnes05 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 He isn't emotionally confused...he's simply a d*ck. I had a woman do the same to me recently. I'm not hurt, I just hate wasting my time on women that say one thing and then do the complete opposite. So I know how you feel, but the make up sex thing was a bit desperate. Remember that you don't need anyone to validate who you are. The lesson I learned from my experience was to stick to my guns regarding only having sex in an official relationship. I also realized that when a person blows red hot and then gets extremely cold or backtracks, to simply walk away and tell them to reach out when they have matured mentally and emotionally enough for a relationship. Remember that when a relationship is what you desire, but lack...go no contact. [Copyright 2015] Best of luck to you! You deserve a man that will love you with his whole heart.
Redhead14 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 How long were you seeing this guy? If it was only a couple of months, he blowtorched you. This happens because a) a guy is recovering from a break up and wants to forget and jumps quickly and hard into another one and then gets shell-shocked and realizes he's in over his head or b) because he wanted to be sexual with you without wanting a relationship, knew you were looking for one and likely wouldn't have sex if you knew it wasn't going to go that way and played you. I think this guy played you. He gets you to his house at 11 pm, mentions that he's struggling with feelings for ex, brushes that off, gives you a necklace to seal the deal with you, has sex with you and then says, he can't move forward? He knew he wasn't going to keep going with you, but wanted one last roll in the hay. He's a douche and you have dodged a bullet. 1
siriusp Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 How long were you seeing this guy? If it was only a couple of months, he blowtorched you. This happens because a) a guy is recovering from a break up and wants to forget and jumps quickly and hard into another one and then gets shell-shocked and realizes he's in over his head or b) because he wanted to be sexual with you without wanting a relationship, knew you were looking for one and likely wouldn't have sex if you knew it wasn't going to go that way and played you. I think this guy played you. He gets you to his house at 11 pm, mentions that he's struggling with feelings for ex, brushes that off, gives you a necklace to seal the deal with you, has sex with you and then says, he can't move forward? He knew he wasn't going to keep going with you, but wanted one last roll in the hay. He's a douche and you have dodged a bullet. couldn't have said it better............. he sounds like a p**! I can understand completely why you are hurt - he had no right to treat you like that and a p** like that doesn't deserve any woman. I hope you find someone that treats you with respect.
Buddhist Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 A week later I start regretting how “harsh” I felt I was to him , so I texted him saying I miss his company want things to be right again, and that I was mad he didn’t tell me about his ex cause I would of approached this relationship differently. I also said to him that we should have make up sex cause I miss him so much. Next thing you know he responds “ I’m not that kind of guy”. I feel so hurt and rejected. He had sex with me this whole time with no title, and all of a sudden his is not that type of a guy its almost as if he wants to discard me, I feel so rejected and desperate. I feel like im the only one that misses him. Here's the heads up....Mr Charisma + emotional rollercoasters = bad news. It's always a relationship in which he extracts sex by pulling your strings and gives you nothing in return. And you fell for it. Move on. Never contact this person again, lesson learned and start dating real people with actual souls and empathy.
xUnknown Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Yeah, the guy has some issues with not being over his ex. If he was over her, he wouldn't care about if she was hurt by dating you. Let him be. However, I can see where he said "I'm not that kind of guy" about your comment about having makeup sex. Usually those sort of things just happen on their own. I don't know how to explain it, but I'd be sort of put off by that too.
Glitters Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Its is unfortunate on all ends.He was wrong and you becoming over emotional because of it, got in to panic mode and reacted bad.Dont beat yourself over it.
Redhead14 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 This guy has put me through nothing but emotional rollercoasters. We started off very heated things got intense fast, we agreed that we had undeniable chemistry hours of talking, and being very close. The sex was the most amazing, his personality charming, and so warm. One day he told me had something to discuss so I remained calm and figured that whatever he had to say was referring to our relationship, whether he wanted to continue or not (hence make it official) I told myself, no matter the out come I would not get upset because I really would appreciate him as a person no matter what. He invited me at 11pm in his house, which was very suggestive, so to me that signaled that he wanted more. When I came over however, things were the same we were laughing, talking...and then he expressed that he had concerns about hurting his ex’s feelings. Later on, he shook it off said you know what I want to make this official he gave me a necklace we made love and then last minute, he said that he didn’t want to do this how its not fair to his ex girlfriend and I should be kept a secret. I was crushed and had work the next morning, became an emotional wreck, I also screwed up on one of my exams. It took over me. I told him what he did and how he made me feel, and he said that we should talk but didn’t express much urgency. Later on eventually, I didn’t hear from him despite the fact I was pushing for this talk. One day I bumped into him by accident at a friends party, he was leaving to a taxi with someone else, he then texted me and told me the reason why he was so abrupt and broke my heart that day was cause he was trying to be genuine and be truthful for his feelings. He also told me that his was sorting out his feelings and I should “wait”. I told him how that didn’t cut it for me and there was million other ways he could of done that. A week later I start regretting how “harsh” I felt I was to him , so I texted him saying I miss his company want things to be right again, and that I was mad he didn’t tell me about his ex cause I would of approached this relationship differently. I also said to him that we should have make up sex cause I miss him so much. Next thing you know he responds “ I’m not that kind of guy”. I feel so hurt and rejected. He had sex with me this whole time with no title, and all of a sudden his is not that type of a guy its almost as if he wants to discard me, I feel so rejected and desperate. I feel like im the only one that misses him. is not that type of a guy -- he was being smug. He knew he used you for sex and so did you. You threw more sex at him to try to draw him in and he's basically being sarcastic -- "you shouldn't be that kind of girl". This guy is a player of the highest degree . . . He invited me at 11pm -- had sex and then bailed. 2
truth_seeker Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 This dude is what you call a POS. He blatantly used you and had no problem doing so. You can either go no contact or plot for revenge. The mature thing to do is never speak to him again. If you want to release some anger, tell him you have an infection and he needs to get checked ASAP - just to scare him. 1
Author lala78 Posted November 15, 2015 Author Posted November 15, 2015 Welp an update for everyone. I decided to attack him, and he claims and wants to hold on to the fact that he didn't play me in anyway, he didn't lead me on. He was clear from the jump, and that girls come and go , right now he needs to think about school. He also denied saying that we should be together.. he said what he meant was "seeing eachother" not being together. I feel disgusted and I feel like a loser.
Redhead14 Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 Welp an update for everyone. I decided to attack him, and he claims and wants to hold on to the fact that he didn't play me in anyway, he didn't lead me on. He was clear from the jump, and that girls come and go , right now he needs to think about school. He also denied saying that we should be together.. he said what he meant was "seeing eachother" not being together. I feel disgusted and I feel like a loser. You aren't a loser because you haven't lost anything Keep your head up. You were feeling and ultimately identified that he wasn't making you feel good about him/you so you've learned and you figured things out fairly early. That's good thing. 1
Glitters Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 Welp an update for everyone. I decided to attack him, and he claims and wants to hold on to the fact that he didn't play me in anyway, he didn't lead me on. He was clear from the jump, and that girls come and go , right now he needs to think about school. He also denied saying that we should be together.. he said what he meant was "seeing eachother" not being together. I feel disgusted and I feel like a loser. Why ? You could have easily avoided this further.
Author lala78 Posted November 15, 2015 Author Posted November 15, 2015 Why ? You could have easily avoided this further. Its hard not to attack someone who does all this and at the end of the day believes he's "genuine" he told me he's genuine because he let me know at 11 at night, that his ex in his life. He also denied an entire conversation and also claimed that I should of known he doesn't want a relationship cause hes focused this year. He also told me Im a distraction. I left it off on a sarcastic note saying i hope you make it in life, and if i was ever in the way i apologize. How can someone I thought I knew be so pompous and self serving. He's even sleeping at night and Im not. I feel over emotional and stupid.
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