kismetkismet Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 I've asked about the whole situation of trying to make my boyfriend feel comfortable with my best male friend (i also have 2 female best friends that i'm equally close to). So far things are going well, I'm bringing the new boyfriend out with my male friend and that group of friends this weekend and my boyfriend has shown no signs of jealousy and has just been really eager to meet him (as well as all of my other friends). One more awkward detail though.. this male best friend and I met on online dating about 4 years ago.. I know that sounds a bit bad.. but we never went on a date or anything. We started chatting on plenty of fish and added each other to facebook. It wasn't flirtatious really, It was more just like friendly joking banter. We would chat on facebook on and off for like a year without any plans to meet up, but then over time we realized we had a ton in common/had similar senses of humour and decided to hang out. We never went on any *dates* we'd just go to casual places for beer and chats and split the bill. Both of us were single for the first couple of years of our friendship and i was never interested in him romantically. I even slept at his house in his bed very drunk once and nothing happened (i would never do that now). Over time we hung out more, became closer, and i started hanging out with his group of friends a ton. Now most of my friends are people I met through him. SO.. with that longwinded over analytical story - is this something I should tell my boyfriend or would it be better to just say I met him randomly through friends or something. i despise dishonesty, but wonder if this random fact would create unnecessary tension.
hippychick3 Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 Do you have to tell him anything? I would avoid bringing it up unless he asks. If he does ask, I would be honest about how you met leaving out the unnecessary details (sleeping in same bad even if nothing happened). There shouldn't be any issues since you have no romantic history with this guy. 1
Author kismetkismet Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 I won't say anything unless he brings it up, but I feel like he might ask. My ex asked, and a couple of other people have in the past as well, probably partly because he's a guy, plus he's australian (we're in Canada), and we don't have work or anything in common.
SwordofFlame Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 Some women only look to "make friends" through online dating. If he's used it before, I'm pretty sure he's come across some profiles that say just that. I personally find it strange because I'm a guy. But I guess women do indeed just make friends through online dating sites.
Author kismetkismet Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 Some women only look to "make friends" through online dating. If he's used it before, I'm pretty sure he's come across some profiles that say just that. I personally find it strange because I'm a guy. But I guess women do indeed just make friends through online dating sites. haha I find it strange as well! That was not my intention at the time at all, it just worked out that way because we really got along but had no chemistry. My boyfriend has never used online dating before believe it or not.. but I'm glad that it's not the worst sounding thing. I wasn't sure if people would find it super weird.
Ami1uwant Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 Honest answer...if you lived near each other why didn't you date??? Given the commonality between you two??? As a guy I have made just friends through OLD sites. You find out in learning about someone there are some differences that are important in a relationship but not in a friendship.
Author kismetkismet Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 Honest answer...if you lived near each other why didn't you date??? Given the commonality between you two??? As a guy I have made just friends through OLD sites. You find out in learning about someone there are some differences that are important in a relationship but not in a friendship. There just was never any chemistry. I never felt butterflies or the urge to kiss him or any of those things. We could probably be pretty happy 'life partners' but I'd rather have some passion and romantic feeling in there too haha.
LoveRefreshed Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 Maybe I'm not the best for advice here but if he appears eager to meet your guy friend then he is probably eager to judge your guy friend's motives and evaluate if he is a threat. Telling him prior will probably bias him to not like your friend. I'd leave old out of it unless specifically asked. If he asks how you met him, I'd say where you two first met in person. 2
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