Iceshowers Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 I have been dating this guy 3 months and we really like each other. He's always has been somewhat guarded, and/or afraid to open up to me, but I like him enough to wait for him to be ready. Sunday night we spent the night together and we parted ways around 1:30 pm Monday afternoon. His usual parting phrase is "text me later?" which I don't like, but I don't get a bad vibe from it. I do have to add our dates and the nights we spend together are always good and perfect. He has stated multiple times to me (whether I asked or not) that I'm the only one and he's exclusive; so in honesty, I believe him and have no issues there either. My only concern is, after we said bye's on Monday afternoon, about 30 mins later he changed his relationship status on FB to "in a relationship" with the date being when we first started going out. We are NOT FB friends (I check his profile from time to time, so that's how I noticed it) and he DID NOT ask me to be his girlfriend. The real concern is, that literally that evening I sent him a text how I had a good time and that I would like if we are more open to each other (before I found out about the FB thing though). He didn't reply. He is usually very good at replying as soon as he can. So next day he didn't reply either, so I texted him a "hey" late afternoon. He texted me saying his phone is broken and is texting from Siri and asked for my email address so we can keep in touch. He didn't email me at all and it's been 2 days since. I did email him that same night as the text and even sent him a FB message the following day. NOTHING back. I understand if his phone broken, and due to his weird work schedule, I'm sure he doesn't have time to stop by the apple store (he works 12:45- 8:45pm). But, who doesn't check their email or FB for a couple of days? I am overthinking so many scenarios of what could and it will probably drive me mad lol. Is there anything else I could do? I don't know where he lives (I know the area, but since he lives at home still, he never gave me the actual address. Plus is a good drive away). I don't know any of his friends or families personally (he doesn't know mine either, we have kept it us 2 for now), so I can't reach out to them to see if he's alright. I can't stop by his job since he works inside the airport and I can't make it through w/o a ticket.
lilmissjava Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 If you trust everything else about him, trust that his phone is broken and does not have access to another device to check in.
Rainah Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 Wait for him to contact you, I think you have done enough of trying to contact him. 1
Redhead14 Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 I have been dating this guy 3 months and we really like each other. He's always has been somewhat guarded, and/or afraid to open up to me, but I like him enough to wait for him to be ready. Sunday night we spent the night together and we parted ways around 1:30 pm Monday afternoon. His usual parting phrase is "text me later?" which I don't like, but I don't get a bad vibe from it. I do have to add our dates and the nights we spend together are always good and perfect. He has stated multiple times to me (whether I asked or not) that I'm the only one and he's exclusive; so in honesty, I believe him and have no issues there either. My only concern is, after we said bye's on Monday afternoon, about 30 mins later he changed his relationship status on FB to "in a relationship" with the date being when we first started going out. We are NOT FB friends (I check his profile from time to time, so that's how I noticed it) and he DID NOT ask me to be his girlfriend. The real concern is, that literally that evening I sent him a text how I had a good time and that I would like if we are more open to each other (before I found out about the FB thing though). He didn't reply. He is usually very good at replying as soon as he can. So next day he didn't reply either, so I texted him a "hey" late afternoon. He texted me saying his phone is broken and is texting from Siri and asked for my email address so we can keep in touch. He didn't email me at all and it's been 2 days since. I did email him that same night as the text and even sent him a FB message the following day. NOTHING back. I understand if his phone broken, and due to his weird work schedule, I'm sure he doesn't have time to stop by the apple store (he works 12:45- 8:45pm). But, who doesn't check their email or FB for a couple of days? I am overthinking so many scenarios of what could and it will probably drive me mad lol. Is there anything else I could do? I don't know where he lives (I know the area, but since he lives at home still, he never gave me the actual address. Plus is a good drive away). I don't know any of his friends or families personally (he doesn't know mine either, we have kept it us 2 for now), so I can't reach out to them to see if he's alright. I can't stop by his job since he works inside the airport and I can't make it through w/o a ticket. First of all, I would trust that he's having phone/communication issues since you don't seem to have any other reason for not trusting him, take him at his word for a little while longer. It's only 2 days, right? However, if it goes more than a week (I'd expect him to find some way of contacting you if he's that serious about you), I'd simply start moving on. If he contacts you later than a week and with a really good explanation, you can decide whether you want to keep seeing him. But, frankly, a guy who really is so into you would borrow someone else's phone to call or text you . . .
Author Iceshowers Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 First of all, I would trust that he's having phone/communication issues since you don't seem to have any other reason for not trusting him, take him at his word for a little while longer. It's only 2 days, right? However, if it goes more than a week (I'd expect him to find some way of contacting you if he's that serious about you), I'd simply start moving on. If he contacts you later than a week and with a really good explanation, you can decide whether you want to keep seeing him. But, frankly, a guy who really is so into you would borrow someone else's phone to call or text you . . . That's exactly how I was thinking, that he could have borrowed his family's phone to call me and just give an update, or his friend's or coworker. I imagine that his phone is so broken that he can't even see my number. I'll just wait a little longer, and call it quits I guess. To be fair though, his phone has been horribly cracked for a while and he has shown me one time where it was on, but his iPhone wouldn't react to the touch screen and he would do all these stuff, and nothing would happen. I am just more upset that he hasn't found another way to get a hold of me yet.
Redhead14 Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 That's exactly how I was thinking, that he could have borrowed his family's phone to call me and just give an update, or his friend's or coworker. I imagine that his phone is so broken that he can't even see my number. I'll just wait a little longer, and call it quits I guess. To be fair though, his phone has been horribly cracked for a while and he has shown me one time where it was on, but his iPhone wouldn't react to the touch screen and he would do all these stuff, and nothing would happen. I am just more upset that he hasn't found another way to get a hold of me yet. his phone has been horribly cracked for a while and he has shown me one time where it was on -- Focus on what you actually KNOW about the situation and go with that. Yes, he could find another way, but perhaps he's just not "thinking". I mean maybe it hasn't dawned on him yet as to another way. Give him the benefit of the doubt for a little bit longer. Maybe he's trying to buy a new phone and doesn't quite have the funds or something. Does he do everything from the phone? I mean, does he have a computer at home he can email from? If he does, then I'm kinda going hmmmmm. But if he only has the phone for that too, he's really limited. I tend to lean toward positive thinking and what I actually know about a situation rather than being negative and making assumptions. But like I said, if it goes on too long, let it go.
Author Iceshowers Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 his phone has been horribly cracked for a while and he has shown me one time where it was on -- Focus on what you actually KNOW about the situation and go with that. Yes, he could find another way, but perhaps he's just not "thinking". I mean maybe it hasn't dawned on him yet as to another way. Give him the benefit of the doubt for a little bit longer. Maybe he's trying to buy a new phone and doesn't quite have the funds or something. Does he do everything from the phone? I mean, does he have a computer at home he can email from? If he does, then I'm kinda going hmmmmm. But if he only has the phone for that too, he's really limited. I tend to lean toward positive thinking and what I actually know about a situation rather than being negative and making assumptions. But like I said, if it goes on too long, let it go. I've never been to his place, and I highly doubt his phone is the only technology he has, especially since he's taking online college classes. I'm just going back & forth between positive and negative thinking.
losangelena Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 I have been dating this guy 3 months and we really like each other. He's always has been somewhat guarded, and/or afraid to open up to me, but I like him enough to wait for him to be ready. Sunday night we spent the night together and we parted ways around 1:30 pm Monday afternoon. His usual parting phrase is "text me later?" which I don't like, but I don't get a bad vibe from it. I do have to add our dates and the nights we spend together are always good and perfect. He has stated multiple times to me (whether I asked or not) that I'm the only one and he's exclusive; so in honesty, I believe him and have no issues there either. My only concern is, after we said bye's on Monday afternoon, about 30 mins later he changed his relationship status on FB to "in a relationship" with the date being when we first started going out. We are NOT FB friends (I check his profile from time to time, so that's how I noticed it) and he DID NOT ask me to be his girlfriend. The real concern is, that literally that evening I sent him a text how I had a good time and that I would like if we are more open to each other (before I found out about the FB thing though). He didn't reply. He is usually very good at replying as soon as he can. So next day he didn't reply either, so I texted him a "hey" late afternoon. He texted me saying his phone is broken and is texting from Siri and asked for my email address so we can keep in touch. He didn't email me at all and it's been 2 days since. I did email him that same night as the text and even sent him a FB message the following day. NOTHING back. I understand if his phone broken, and due to his weird work schedule, I'm sure he doesn't have time to stop by the apple store (he works 12:45- 8:45pm). But, who doesn't check their email or FB for a couple of days? I am overthinking so many scenarios of what could and it will probably drive me mad lol. Is there anything else I could do? I don't know where he lives (I know the area, but since he lives at home still, he never gave me the actual address. Plus is a good drive away). I don't know any of his friends or families personally (he doesn't know mine either, we have kept it us 2 for now), so I can't reach out to them to see if he's alright. I can't stop by his job since he works inside the airport and I can't make it through w/o a ticket. This is totally not coming from a place of judgement, I'm just trying to understand the situation better. You've been seeing each other for three months (sleeping together yet?), yet: You don't know where he lives You haven't met his friends/family He didn't have your email address until recently You're not friends on FB He hasn't asked you to be his GF He won't open up to you You all sound extremely casual to me, based on the above info. Is that how you see yourselves or do you want more than that? Again, that's all up to you, but those things jumped out at me as odd ways for a relationship-minded man to be acting at three months in. 2
hippychick3 Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 This is totally not coming from a place of judgement, I'm just trying to understand the situation better. You've been seeing each other for three months (sleeping together yet?), yet: You don't know where he lives You haven't met his friends/family He didn't have your email address until recently You're not friends on FB He hasn't asked you to be his GF He won't open up to you You all sound extremely casual to me, based on the above info. Is that how you see yourselves or do you want more than that? Again, that's all up to you, but those things jumped out at me as odd ways for a relationship-minded man to be acting at three months in. These were my thoughts as well. My guess (sadly) would be that he was seeing someone else at the same time he was seeing you, and they became more serious.
Author Iceshowers Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 (edited) This is totally not coming from a place of judgement, I'm just trying to understand the situation better. You've been seeing each other for three months (sleeping together yet?), yet: You don't know where he lives You haven't met his friends/family He didn't have your email address until recently You're not friends on FB He hasn't asked you to be his GF He won't open up to you You all sound extremely casual to me, based on the above info. Is that how you see yourselves or do you want more than that? Again, that's all up to you, but those things jumped out at me as odd ways for a relationship-minded man to be acting at three months in. Well, there's more to that, mainly because of me. He has shown me the street where he lives, but never the actual address and I haven't pushed to ask. He has shown me pics of friends, family and coworkers, and has told me sensitive stuff about some of them. I don't see the issue on the email address, as I don't give that out unless someone asks? He has had his FB deactivated for 2 months out of our 3 months, so there was no mention of FB friendship. And he is afraid to open up to me because he has expressed his fear of waiting to see if I'm real and not playing games. Yes, we are sleeping together. Also, it goes back to my situation. The back story on me is: we met when I had ended a 5yr relationship and haven't moved from my ex's house, so I was still living with him. So he has always given me space and stayed guarded mostly cuz of that (he doesn't say it, but he has told me once why he gave me space when I asked why he's distant). If you think it's causal dating, I guess. But both of us are exclusive.. atleast I'm 100% sure I am lol. I don't feel that he's talking or seeing others. I have been taking it slow, because he has wanted that from the beginning, and I haven't pushed to rush especially since I have gotten out of a long term relationship (before any one asks, I have been emotionally and mentally out of this relationship for the past 3 yrs, but because a child was in the mix, I stayed this long). Obviously my intent is to be more and get closer. But again, I'm not one to rush this or him. The fact he changed his relationship status right after seeing me, makes me think that he wants more too.. but then this happened. Edited November 5, 2015 by Iceshowers
oberkeat Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 (edited) Let me tell you something: you're a woman. You could walk down the street right now and a dozen guys who are both single and more worth your time will approach you. Go out with one of them and forget this guy. Why are you wasting time worrying about this one guy who is showing you no interest? Edited November 5, 2015 by oberkeat 1
Zippy2000 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Is it just me or is no one else seeing this as a RED FLAG how he has chnaged his relationship status on Facebook without speaking to the person he is in this supposed "relationship". Also why would anyone keep on re-assursure someone there is no one else? If there is no one else then you dont need to mention it. It a bit suspect to me. Why dont you call him out on this and ask him are you on Facebook? See if he will add you then with his relationship status!! 1
Lansing Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Why dont you call him out on this and ask him are you on Facebook? See if he will add you then with his relationship status!! She mentioned already that she sent him a message on Facebook. I am not sure why you couldn't call him or he call you (i.e. from another phone) but I agree 2 days isn't that long. However, at the same time, when approaching the weekend you think you guys would have touched base to make plans. I don't do the whole facebook thing so I don't see the point of the "in a relationship" status updates/etc so can't really explain that. If his phone is broken you think he would have logged into his e-mail by now since you sent him an e-mail (so, you had his e-mail address but he didn't have yours?... if he gave you his address via SIRI maybe it was incorrect?)
SoThatHappened Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Hard truth: If someone wants to get in touch with you, they will find a way.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Is it just me or is no one else seeing this as a RED FLAG how he has chnaged his relationship status on Facebook without speaking to the person he is in this supposed "relationship". Also why would anyone keep on re-assursure someone there is no one else? If there is no one else then you dont need to mention it. It a bit suspect to me. Why dont you call him out on this and ask him are you on Facebook? See if he will add you then with his relationship status!! I also find this peculiar. OP, you're both too guarded. It's a bit backwards that he claims to be in a relationship (I'm assuming his status update is related to you) yet you have never been to his house. Something isn't right here. The phone issue isn't all that relevant to the real problems, from my point of view.
Survivor12 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 If he was using Siri to text, he could use Siri to call you.
Zippy2000 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Hard truth: If someone wants to get in touch with you, they will find a way. I tried morse code, I tried smoke signals, I ve used carrier pigeon............. NOTHING!! She replies back with a message in a bottle. lol
katiegrl Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 (edited) I have been dating this guy 3 months and we really like each other. He's always has been somewhat guarded, and/or afraid to open up to me, but I like him enough to wait for him to be ready. Sunday night we spent the night together and we parted ways around 1:30 pm Monday afternoon. His usual parting phrase is "text me later?" which I don't like, but I don't get a bad vibe from it. I do have to add our dates and the nights we spend together are always good and perfect. He has stated multiple times to me (whether I asked or not) that I'm the only one and he's exclusive; so in honesty, I believe him and have no issues there either. My only concern is, after we said bye's on Monday afternoon, about 30 mins later he changed his relationship status on FB to "in a relationship" with the date being when we first started going out. We are NOT FB friends (I check his profile from time to time, so that's how I noticed it) and he DID NOT ask me to be his girlfriend. The real concern is, that literally that evening I sent him a text how I had a good time and that I would like if we are more open to each other (before I found out about the FB thing though). He didn't reply. He is usually very good at replying as soon as he can. So next day he didn't reply either, so I texted him a "hey" late afternoon. He texted me saying his phone is broken and is texting from Siri and asked for my email address so we can keep in touch. He didn't email me at all and it's been 2 days since. I did email him that same night as the text and even sent him a FB message the following day. NOTHING back. I understand if his phone broken, and due to his weird work schedule, I'm sure he doesn't have time to stop by the apple store (he works 12:45- 8:45pm). But, who doesn't check their email or FB for a couple of days? I am overthinking so many scenarios of what could and it will probably drive me mad lol. Is there anything else I could do? I don't know where he lives (I know the area, but since he lives at home still, he never gave me the actual address. Plus is a good drive away). I don't know any of his friends or families personally (he doesn't know mine either, we have kept it us 2 for now), so I can't reach out to them to see if he's alright. I can't stop by his job since he works inside the airport and I can't make it through w/o a ticket. Sweetie, sorry, but IMO he's involved with someone else. He's guarded about his life, you have no idea where he lives, don't know friends or family, and now he's ignoring you. Also who keeps announcing (without you asking) you're the only one? Someone who feels guilty because you are NOT the only one! I don't think he lives with his parents and I don't believe his phone is *broken*. Please. He's hiding something and again IMO it's that he is with, may even be living with, another woman. The FB status update was for her, not you. Edited November 6, 2015 by katiegrl
Author Iceshowers Posted November 6, 2015 Author Posted November 6, 2015 Thanks all for your input. To clarify, due to his damaged phone, he has called me via Siri some other time (before this happened). We did not have each other's email, he asked me for mine, via Siri text, and sent me his. His had a space, so I figured it was a mistake and I put it together. When I said he tells me I'm the only, its not out of the blue. One day, he we were in the parking lot, he thought he saw a familiar car, he thought it was his dad, so I said "let me stop touching you then" (as a joke) and took my hands off. He thought that I thought it was some other chick he saw, from my actions, so he said "there's no one else I'm seeing". Threw me off, but I explained I was teasing and I did heard he said dad. Another time, I told him about my ex that he 2 timed me and was married, so I was the side chick without knowing it. So he said I'm his main squeeze so I don't have to worry about that. So jokingly I said "if I'm the main, how many others?" He looked surprised and said "no, you're just it, the only one." And then about 2 weeks ago I asked him if he was seeing or talking to another woman like he is with me, he said no and asked if he ever gave that impression to make me think that way. And I only asked to see if he was multi-dating, cuz then I wouldn't take the relationship seriously. I did find his parents address yesterday (I'm a paralegal, so finding things is easy for me, not only because of resources, but knowledge), but I won't go out to see him. Honestly, I will leave this as is. His sister and nephew also live with parents. I discussed before about a double date with my sis and one time with my HS Friend. Never gave him a day, just was an idea. And he asked me a couple of times when it will happen, w/o me bringing it up. So he seemed interested in that idea. Yes, I do believe we are both guarded. I am by nature, he could be too, BUT I was in a weird spot when we first started going out so he himself gave space because he wasn't sure how it will end on either side. But, I made peace with myself yesterday. Whether he lied and had someone else, or is dead in a ditch, I guess I'll never know lol.
Author Iceshowers Posted November 6, 2015 Author Posted November 6, 2015 To add to my long reply: He may be guarded because when we met, I was leaving a 5yr relationship and told him I don't want a relationship, just to have fun. He went along with it (even though nothing intimate happened), but literally the next week after our first couple of outings (not sexual), I told him I enjoyed is company and my needs changed and I don't want a **** buddy, but to try at dating/relationship with him. And he agreed. So like I stated before, that distance could be because of me. All in all, it just seems like a weird movie, because he planned a romantic night Sunday (first time he put alot of effort) and was very warm. We have gone on plenty of dates literally 2 blocks from his house and he was always touching, kissing me, being affectionate, and holding hands. I guess I'm getting at that a guy who isn't into someone would not be that affectionate in his hometown knowing someone he grew up with will see. Unless I'm wrong. I'm just over thinking this now and I know I shouldn't.
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