Author barbossa Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 These arguments often come up and are trite. Every action happened because somebody put themselves in position to have that opportunity. Really, you're going to chalk up being at Harvard to luck? And you don't know my past. On paper, I had absolutely no chance at life. Now I've been a top software developer, a 3X business owner, an actor, a model, a writer, and a professional gamer. I have 4 degrees, have travelled all over the world, and have been in rooms some people can only dream up. And I'm not even 30, yet. Every single one of those successes came with taking risk and working hard. On paper, I should have been a slave to my childhood. Abusive father, severe poverty, low income area. There are failures in life, sure. But there would be no success (or 'luck') without someone making a decision to do something positive for themselves. Bush got his MBA from Harvard ( Yes I am sure he was genius or brilliant) current Chinese leaders daughter also goes to Harvard ( countless others with strong family connections/influence smart people for sure go there ( tho founder of alibaba got reject 10 times?) I think it was luck that they met. Surely there were other girls at the school. She did not actively try to date him. Your results are truly impressive, i can't say i know a single person who has done what you have, and I know some hard working educated people as well. i have friends with Phd's from stanford in tech degree who have not done what you have.... are you more hard working still?
Author barbossa Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 I have a date tomorrow evening with a man I met at a dance lesson. I suppose there is an element of luck in it. However, we are largely masters of our own fate. I keep my body in excellent condition. I made the effort to go to the dance lesson. I took the time to look my best. I smiled and made contact with this fellow. I made myself available when he wanted to talk during rather break. I smiled and showed some enthusiasm. Then after the break I danced with him exclusively instead of rotating partners. Sure it is 'luck' he was there, but may not have been enough if I didn't control the other variables. Was it 'luck' for him? Again, he made the effort to go to where singles may meet. He was clean and dressed nicely. Appears very fit. Respectful and positive. He is a high school math teacher so he sought out an education. Luck? explain how you and him met? why did you and him partner together? if you or he are as great as you describe and no one else tried to get with either of you first? What if on that night he was not there? You would not have met right or wrong?
Myragal Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 explain how you and him met? why did you and him partner together? if you or he are as great as you describe and no one else tried to get with either of you first? What if on that night he was not there? You would not have met right or wrong? Is this a question to me? Sorry, I can't understand your poorly written English.
SammySammy Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Seneca George W. Bush and Priscilla Chan Zuckerberg are poor examples of "luck". George W. Bush's grandfather and father both made moves that allowed him to be in a position to attend Yale and eventually become President of the United States. People made decisions and worked to make that happen. Even W himself had to do his part. I don't know Priscilla Chan's story, but somebody made the decision to come to America. Priscilla herself had to work to get into Harvard in order to be there to "luckily" meet Mark Zuckerberg. There were many other women on that campus - some who I'm sure turned him down - who weren't "lucky" enough to know it might be a good idea to be kind to this geeky dude. Something in Priscilla's background prepared her for that. And it wasn't luck. In both cases, there was effort made to be in position to be lucky. 1
oberkeat Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 I have a female friend on all the OLD sites and even messages the guys, but seems to not have luck, and I have seen her persistently going for what she wants too ( in my opinion she is attractive, and has bubbly personality, in her 40's) I am sure there are many men sending loads of messages and trying to meet women in real life as well and both genders world wide struggling to meet their S/O's in your opinion and experiences does success in finding people you want to date and have a meaningful relationship Good Luck or hard work Fate based? Hard work has nothing to do with it. It's all luck. My best friend didn't really have do to any work to find his wife. He met her at work, she was giving him signals and basically fell into his lap. Meanwhile, for years I've had to bust my balls just to even encounter women, putting myself out there repeatedly, doing OLD, going out of tons of dates, with no luck finding someone who's interested in a relationship. My friend did none of these things and still found a long term relationship. How is it that I have to work so much harder to find a single woman who's interested in me, while for some people, it's as easy as cake? Luck.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 What makes one 18 year old meet the love of their life and the other doesn't? Fate and luck. I agree that luck is a significant element of romantic love. One of my best friends met her now-husband randomly when she was 19. They're so complementary in background and outlook that it's like they were made for each other. They're both artistic and quite unconventional people, but they are just the right flavor for each other. They even have complementary looks. This was 95% luck. 1
empresario Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Bush got his MBA from Harvard ( Yes I am sure he was genius or brilliant) current Chinese leaders daughter also goes to Harvard ( countless others with strong family connections/influence smart people for sure go there ( tho founder of alibaba got reject 10 times?) I think it was luck that they met. Surely there were other girls at the school. She did not actively try to date him. Your results are truly impressive, i can't say i know a single person who has done what you have, and I know some hard working educated people as well. i have friends with Phd's from stanford in tech degree who have not done what you have.... are you more hard working still? The truth? I have no fear and I take action. My life is a bucket of things I want to do. When I wanted to write, I sat down and started writing. When I wanted to get the world records I have in gaming, I sat down and played the same 30 seconds over and over until I did it better than anyone else and moved onto the next 30 seconds. When I wanted to act I went to casting calls. When I wanted to start companies I quit corporate 6-figure desk jobs to do it. It isn't luck. It's playing the cards you're dealt and adapting to improve yourself.
Zippy2000 Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 in your opinion and experiences does success in finding people you want to date and have a meaningful relationship Good Luck or hard work Fate based? Its all of the above. Its fate you met her/him. Its luck she?he turned out to be a good guy and hard work to maintain a long lasting relationship. Its not rocket science.
carhill Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 in your opinion and experiences does success in finding people you want to date and have a meaningful relationship Good Luck or hard work Fate based? IME, hard work, much harder than building a successful business, at least in my industry anyway. On the other end, I guess some of it was fun but I sure pissed away a lot of life on it. I guess the drive to reproduce is like that.
Myragal Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 The truth? I have no fear and I take action. My life is a bucket of things I want to do. When I wanted to write, I sat down and started writing. When I wanted to get the world records I have in gaming, I sat down and played the same 30 seconds over and over until I did it better than anyone else and moved onto the next 30 seconds. When I wanted to act I went to casting calls. When I wanted to start companies I quit corporate 6-figure desk jobs to do it. It isn't luck. It's playing the cards you're dealt and adapting to improve yourself. True. Most of us women like confident proactive males who have initiative. It's not by chance that it's easy to divide the males in this thread into two groups. Those who are fatalistic and those who make their own success. 1
Versacehottie Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 But anyway she is an attractive woman and I have seen her get hundreds of messages a week. As i am sure many attractive women receive. I feel luck and Fate play much bigger part. Some people just have it easier imo Well if she has the basic goods (which I believe you, she does), and she is putting in effort and getting initial messages, something goes wrong. The common denominator is her. I typically think that it reads as desperation or IS desperation or not being discriminating about which guys or having no standards regarding dating that she exhibits to her dates, which in turn makes them see her as worthwhile. And I agree with those that said she should do other avenues besides just online. I actually think it might help her a lot. Especially if she did those other activities WITHOUT the sole intention to meet a guy. Feeling like something is wrong with you or that you are less than because you don't have a partner when you are otherwise successful is not conducive to having success in relationships. Try gently passing on some of the ideas here and see if it helps her.
casey.lives Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 success in a relationship is... a weird statement. success is a plateau .. and a relationship is an organism more than a goal. it grows or dies. it's not a working objective. it's a feeling breathing living thing!!!!!
oberkeat Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Luck is a crutch, in my most sincere of opinions. There is no such thing, as we live in a universe of cause and effect. We put ourselves in the position to succeed with work, self-awareness, and a positive attitude. This doesn't just apply to love...but careers, friendships, and success. This is the empty rhetoric of motivational speakers. You think I haven't WORKED to find a compatible woman? No one's done more work to get into a relationship than I have, only to find zero success. Hard work has nothing to do with finding love. If it did, I would have found a decent woman a long time ago. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 This is the empty rhetoric of motivational speakers. You think I haven't WORKED to find a compatible woman? No one's done more work to get into a relationship than I have, only to find zero success. Hard work has nothing to do with finding love. If it did, I would have found a decent woman a long time ago. I agree. It's very easy for lucky people to say luck is a minor factor It's a simple fact of life that some people have to work WAY harder for certain things than others do.
walkingonair Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 It's fate... We don't choose the people that come into our lives, they are supposed to come into our lives no matter what Most things in life are predestined!
ZA Dater Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 The reason I say its luck is this and I never ever do this so do either ignore of bear with me. I am 31 : good job : honest : caring : diverse interests : articulate : well spoken : generous : athletic build : I really take an interest in people. And yet my dating life is all but non existent and those with on the face of it far less to offer never battle to find anyone. The same is true of many on this forum, nice people but for whatever reason we all seem to battle when the odd say we shouldn't. Its really is luck and probably confidence to some extent. 1
empresario Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 This is the empty rhetoric of motivational speakers. You think I haven't WORKED to find a compatible woman? No one's done more work to get into a relationship than I have, only to find zero success. Hard work has nothing to do with finding love. If it did, I would have found a decent woman a long time ago. Work is only a small piece of the solution. Interesting how you byper-focused on that one little phrase in a more metacognatove narrative. So you're saying in the large world of women that is 51% female there isn't a single one interested in you? I doubt that unless you really have no redeeming qualities. If that's the case point the finger at yourself and become self-award and adaptive. 1
empresario Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 I agree. It's very easy for lucky people to say luck is a minor factor It's a simple fact of life that some people have to work WAY harder for certain things than others do. I'm not arguing that. I had to work and adapt to everything I've done. The all men are created equal thing is a misnomer. All men (except in the case of sickness or mental illness) are created with the same opportunity. They are not created equal nor do they have the se paths to that opportunity. And all men definitely do not live equally.
empresario Posted November 6, 2015 Posted November 6, 2015 Work is only a small piece of the solution. Interesting how you byper-focused on that one little phrase in a more metacognatove narrative. So you're saying in the large world of women that is 51% female there isn't a single one interested in you? I doubt that unless you really have no redeeming qualities. If that's the case point the finger at yourself and become self-award and adaptive. Sorry, typed this out on my phone while walking my dog. Hyper focused and self aware* .
Ruby Slippers Posted November 7, 2015 Posted November 7, 2015 I'm not arguing that. I had to work and adapt to everything I've done. The all men are created equal thing is a misnomer. All men (except in the case of sickness or mental illness) are created with the same opportunity. They are not created equal nor do they have the se paths to that opportunity. And all men definitely do not live equally. I've seen you discuss your high IQ on this site. Does a man who happened to be born with low IQ have the same opportunity as one born with high IQ? Or, more to the point of this thread, love life - does a man who happened to be born with a close-to-physically ideal face and body have the same opportunity in love as a man born with a far-from-physically ideal face and body? One was born lucky and one was not. It doesn't mean the lucky guy won't gamble away his good cards, or that the not-lucky guy won't figure out how to play some great hands. But if you we drew a bell curve of success, I think we'd see that the people born with the best hands win most of the rewards. The vast majority of company CEOs fit a rather narrow physical description (male, white, over a certain height, over a certain IQ). That's simple luck. 2
Myragal Posted November 7, 2015 Posted November 7, 2015 I'm not arguing that. I had to work and adapt to everything I've done. The all men are created equal thing is a misnomer. All men (except in the case of sickness or mental illness) are created with the same opportunity. They are not created equal nor do they have the se paths to that opportunity. And all men definitely do not live equally. Agree. Especially in western societies where we all have a myriad of opportunities and make choices. I've never noticed that poorer people are in fewer relationships. Our local family health clinic is largely young women and couples inquiring about birth control, family planning, etc.
kendahke Posted November 7, 2015 Posted November 7, 2015 in your opinion and experiences does success in finding people you want to date and have a meaningful relationship Good Luck or hard work Fate based? It's timing, proximity and compatibility.
No Limit Posted November 7, 2015 Posted November 7, 2015 Luck and timing. Actually, weigh timing x1000 more than any other factor.
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