Wait Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 This is my third serious, long-term relationship and second time living with someone. We were together for 3.5 years and have had issues since day one. But we loved each other and tolerated our differences. About a year ago I decided that I could no longer go on living and being with someone who I disagreed with on so many levels. For months on end I tried bringing myself to breakup with her but I could never do it. I felt bad for her because she would always tell me how she couldn't live without me. She never knew how I felt until recently. I've held this animosity and resentment inside for the past year, mainly sacrificing my happiness for comfort. I've caught her in numerous lies, big and small. She's jealous of the close relationship I have with my mother. We have different opinions of what's important in life. We have different religious views and different political views. Our biggest issue has always been our trust (or lack thereof). Like I said above, I've caught her in numerous lies and, on multiple occasions, have caught her texting guys that I have specifically asked her not to. I've never been able to prove that she's physically cheated on me but my gut says she has - even if only emotionally. Halloween night she came home at 5AM for the first time ever in the time we've been together. Although I knew she was going out, she never stays out past midnight. She also took a taxi home when she always gets driven home by one of her girl friends. I was woken up by her drunken trip up our stairs. I pretended to be asleep so I wouldn't get into an argument with her. As she tip toes around the bed I can smell the alcohol on her. She slips under the covers and is oblivious to the fact that I am even in bed. After a few minutes I can see the light from her cellphone on the ceiling. As if I knew I was going to catch her doing something wrong, I sat up as quickly as possible and looked over at her phone. She was texting a guy who we've had problems with in the past. Everything suddenly clicked. I snatched her phone out of her hands, but as I did she locked it. I thought "Ha, I know her password"... but low and behold she had changed it. She hasn't changed her password for as long as I can remember. It was at this point that I start coming unhinged but I try to remain calm as I know there is no reasoning with her when she is drunk. I tell her that she needs to let me into her phone so I can see that nothing is going on. She immediately gets defensive and starts yelling about the "principle" of me giving her privacy. To make an already long story short I told her that if she didn't show me her conversations then she had to move out. In her drunken state she refused so I left to go stay at my parents. The next day I called her and told her I wanted her out by the end of the week. I haven't seen her since and she's been by the house to move her stuff periodically while I'm at work. I know this is the best thing for me... but it still sucks. Cliffs: - 3.5 years of issues - 1 year of sacrificing happiness for comfort - Trust non-existent - Caught her texting another guy - Finally got her to move out - Depressed
mightycpa Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 Does it seem like a waste of time now, all that compromising and living with petty bull**** issues for the sake of having someone around? Or are you glad you spent all that time with her? I was always picky, and so I had a lot of short-termers. Never moved in with somebody. Always stayed independent, even if we played house.
Author Wait Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 (edited) I've been a chronic monogamist for the past 12 years. The longest I've been single in that time has been 3 months. It definitely feels like a waste of time but that's my own fault obviously. As with any relationship, we had our great times and our bad times. Another thing to note, and I apologize for TMI, but we hadn't had sex for the last year. It was my choice and she constantly complained and questioned my attraction for her. I'd always tell her that I didn't think we should have sex if the emotional and communicative part of our relationship wasn't fixed. I guess my biggest problem is I don't know how to be alone. Does it seem like a waste of time now, all that compromising and living with petty bull**** issues for the sake of having someone around? Or are you glad you spent all that time with her? I was always picky, and so I had a lot of short-termers. Never moved in with somebody. Always stayed independent, even if we played house. Edited November 5, 2015 by Wait
Recommended Posts