Sweetli Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 (edited) Hello everyone!! Ok this entire post is going to sound soo immature!!! Especially since I am 30! But I need advice so please bear with me. So I've been friends with these two girls for about 10-15 years now. We went to highschool together but we became close afterwards (throughout uni). One is named Jen, the other Mary. So Jen and I were close for things like going to the gym, or double dates. Mary and I bonded over conversation and our latin families. I had a serious boyfriend from 20-25 so I had never experienced partying with either girl. Fast forward to age of 23, I move to Europe to study and inevitably stay there. Jen and mary, both single, start going out lots together and begin sleeping with several guys. No judgement. Bf and I break up after all of the long distance when I was 25 and I return home for one year. I spend Halloween with them and they literally ditched me at a club. Like one second they were there, the next second not. They both went home with others and merely forgot me. And can you believe they had the audacity to ask me for a ride the next morning? So I wrote a long email stating how disappointed I was with this treatment after the SECOND incident of this happening, and they both completely stop talking to me. One year later I hear from Mary, who ive always had the deeper relationship with. A year and a half later, jen is ready to forgive me! Neither apologized and after a while i didnt care if they did anymore. By this point Id moved back to Europe and met who is now my husband. I became extremely close with mary through calls and emails but jen not so much. Our relationship became a bit superficial as had she. Still i had completely forgiven them. I called them both when i was engaged and asked Mary to be my maid of honor. They came to visit me in Europe and I prepared the entire house for them only to hear they were staying with me for only 2 days on a stopover of their party tour. The entire time they were the rudest people ever paying for nothing at all, being moody. Jen was also totally flirting with my then fiancé. We returned to North America (where im from)for the summer and jen kept asking to take my fiancé to this slutty pool bar. I avoided them both all summer. But eventually i saw mary who seemed to be normal again. We had a fab time talking and she downloaded whatsapp and from then on we talked and talk everyday. They both came to Italy for my wedding this past summer. Of course it was a mere stopover on their euro trip. Mary was my maid of honor but first she threw me the absolute worst bachelorette party known to man. I had to go to london at their request for it, when I wanted to go to spain. There were just no activities and as mary is quiet when she wants to be, she was a horrible host who spent more on decorations than on planning anything! I had to think of things to do the entire wknd. They kept saying "its ur wknd what do u want to do" Anyway at the wedding mary was very helpful and lovely but they both didn't bring a gift. Now im not a materialistic person but with how cheap these two are normally and mary being my MAID OF HONOUR you'd think theyd give me SOMETHING! Nothing. Still i talk to mary everyday. It was my birthday in August i was on my honeymoon and they both sent me messages on whatsapp, nothing on facebook. I know Facebook doesn't matter but when it was jens bday in September, mary posted a picture of them also on Instagram saying shes her "traveling partner in crime" and loves her sooo much! She also kept asking me what she should give mary for her bday. Never mentioning my non existent present. Yesterday was Mary's birthday and, as I speak to her everyday despite being far (and i mean we talk all day everyday) I posted a picture on Facebook of us at my wedding. I noticed jen posted a pic as well of them and mary writes "i love this pic and you!" For my pic she has said nothing she hasnt even "liked" itand trust me she looks great in the picture so i can't understand why she cant even say thank you? I even sent her a present yesterday to which she said "thanks for the laugh" i sent her a waist trainer, false lashes a sweater and lip plumper-all things shes wanted each with a note inside. Obviously my love is not being reciprocated here. So any advice on how to deal with this? Like should i stop messaging her? Obviously being truthful does nothing for either of them since the last time I expressed my feelings they both stopped talking to me. Ps yes i do have other friends here in Europe but i like feeling close to home too. And with with work and life in general i just feel i need someone to talk to. My husband is there for me but you know the feeling of having a girlfriend around. Mary and jen are both single ps. Edited November 4, 2015 by Sweetli
CarrieT Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 I would dump "friends" like this... They both sound like users and you have allowed them to walk all over you.
GunslingerRoland Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 This is why facebook is horrible. How come so and so liked this pic, but not mine... so much imaginary drama. I'm not saying they are great friends to you, but really worrying about all these little social media things, seems like such a waste of energy.
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