kismetkismet Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 I'm just curious about other people's experiences.. how soon have you normally said "i love you" to people you're dating, and when have they said it to you? has that length of time varied much depending on the person you are with? And are you male or female? Do you think there's a difference in the sexes? (you don't have to read or respond to my full story) moi: The boys that I loved and that loved me said it after around 3 months. One guy said it after 2 months and i didn't at all yet, and another didn't say it for a full year even though I'd loved him for 6 months. i feel like 3-6 months is sort of a standard and healthy amount of time in my opinion. However.. the boy I am dating now and I just said I love you this past weekend and we have only been dating for 6 weeks. To be honest I felt that I loved him in my heart on maybe our 2nd or 3rd date.. I didn't plan on saying it so soon at ALL, but we got quite drunk on halloween and talked about how we'd fallen for each other so quickly, starting on that particular date etc etc.. talked about how we didn't mean to say it so soon, but it was just how we felt. He had actually said it before, but I thought it was an accident.. and he's said it again since.. so I don't think it was just a drunk thing. It kind of worries me that we have been moving so quickly though. On the one hand it feels like the most natural thing in the world and it has been so easy and fun, on top of being super emotional. But at the same time I sometimes get nervous that i'm going to have the rug yanked out from underneath me. I wonder if 'easy come, easy go' is a sentiment that applies in these kinds of situations.. is it less valid because it's been so quick? I feel almost like i didn't.... earn it. He can't really KNOW know me yet. But it's also not based only on lust. We have the same core values, the same lifestyle, the same type of energy, the same interests.. to a weird degree. Sometimes I almost feel like he must have made himself up because no one could fit that well with me (i have a fairly unusual and sometimes paradoxical set of traits haha). /end rant. Curious to hear your thoughts and stories!
LoveRefreshed Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Me: first gf. 9 months in she said it and I didn't. The I broke up with her. Second gf was after about 6 months. Can't remember too much. Third gf said it after 7 months but we were just banging for 5 or 6 without any real commitments or titles. The girl I am with now was after 2. I told her at this rate I'd fall in love with her. She told me it was too late for her. Then a week or so later I said it to her. So idk. I say it when I feel it. This time frame to say it is like picking x dates before sex
Author kismetkismet Posted November 4, 2015 Author Posted November 4, 2015 Oh I definitely agree that you don't need a specific time frame. I was more wondering if certain people tend to fall in love at the same rate, or if it depends more on the person. Also was wondering if other people fell in love as quickly as we have without it exploding haha. I am not normally one to rush things at all.
hippychick3 Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 The first time my bf said it was about a month in when he was out drinking with friends. He texted "I love u" out of the blue at maybe 1am. I did NOT take this seriously though. Although we were totally in lust with each other and spending all our free time together, it was too soon to be love. He didn't say it again until 4 1/2 months in. And at that point, it felt real and right. My suggestion would be to slow down a little. No matter how amazing it feels when the guy we are crazy about is on fast forward, it is bound to crash if it's too much too quick. Enjoy it but keep the pace slow and steady 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 I've only been in love twice and to be honest, I don't remember exactly when it was I felt that I was in love or when those words fell out of my mouth. I wasn't keeping tabs on it. It just happened when it happened and when the moment felt right. In both cases my partners were the first to utter the words but I was tailing on their heels myself
lilmissjava Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 I think it is largely dependent on your own interpretation of what "love" is. There is no textbook definition of how your heart should feel towards another or when to feel it. We are all different and some claim to love sooner than others. 2
Author kismetkismet Posted November 4, 2015 Author Posted November 4, 2015 I think it is largely dependent on your own interpretation of what "love" is. There is no textbook definition of how your heart should feel towards another or when to feel it. We are all different and some claim to love sooner than others. Totally. I think this is why my current situation has me so confused. It normally takes me quite a while to attach to people, even as friends, but especially romantically. I don't usually develop romantic feelings for people until we've dated for a bit - i almost never have crushes - and I don't usually fall in love until there is some kind of practical foundation to it. Love for me has always had more basis in reality..time invested, characters learned, lives intertwined etc. But suddenly i feel those same feelings only suddenly and alarmingly. Apparently I've gone and become an irrational romantic at the ripe old age of 29. (and it's not due to wanting marriage and babies any time soon). That said I sort of wish we'd waited until it DID have more practical foundation to it...
lilmissjava Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Totally. I think this is why my current situation has me so confused. It normally takes me quite a while to attach to people, even as friends, but especially romantically. I don't usually develop romantic feelings for people until we've dated for a bit - i almost never have crushes - and I don't usually fall in love until there is some kind of practical foundation to it. Love for me has always had more basis in reality..time invested, characters learned, lives intertwined etc. But suddenly i feel those same feelings only suddenly and alarmingly. Apparently I've gone and become an irrational romantic at the ripe old age of 29. (and it's not due to wanting marriage and babies any time soon). That said I sort of wish we'd waited until it DID have more practical foundation to it... People change and that's okay. Sometimes it is unavoidable and you really can't control how you feel deep down. If you could, we would always be guarded souls incapable of understanding the true meaning of our existence. Live, love, learn. 1
flogo Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 It took about a year for the "I Love You" to happen." Then the following year we said it back and forth a few times a week. Now that two years are behind us we never say it... funny how that works.
joseb Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 Apart from when I was a teenager, i'd guess it's been at around the six month mark or longer.
Glitters Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 They are just words. Many people throw it around because its nice to hear.I believe more in showing by actions.
PegNosePete Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 At the 12 month relationship progress and development assessment meeting.
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