Sweetgirl28 Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 I'm not sure where to post this. So my fiance broke up with me about 5 months ago. We immediately entered a no contact period. Apparently, he tried to ship my remaining possessions to me but it failed because he hadn't labeled the package right. I had to contact him regarding my possessions so I set out to send pragmatic emails. He would always reply with some form of emotion; asking how my summer had been, asking how I was, asking how my family was, etc. After a while, the contact continued on facebook where he had restricted his privacy options towards me. He re-opened some of the privacy settings for me so I could see his profile again. We have been talking on there ever since but rather emotionless most of the time. I have found that he re-joined the dating website we met on. However, instead of looking for a relationship like he was when I met him, he is now looking for a casual relationship. The pictures on his profile all contain his mother which I find highly strange to say the least. He has only signed in twice since opening the profile. All these factors are making it hard for me to move on. How can he be talking to me, but re-opening his profile? Why would he put pictures of his mother on there??
PegNosePete Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Look, you've broken up. These things are not your concern or your problem any more. Stop stalking him! If you haven't got your possessions back by now then you need to write them off. Stop all communication with him. Block him on facebook and all other social media. Stop looking at his dating profile. This is all preventing you from moving on, so you need to STOP it.
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted November 4, 2015 Author Posted November 4, 2015 Look, you've broken up. These things are not your concern or your problem any more. Stop stalking him! If you haven't got your possessions back by now then you need to write them off. Stop all communication with him. Block him on facebook and all other social media. Stop looking at his dating profile. This is all preventing you from moving on, so you need to STOP it. He has sent me some of my possessions back but some of them got lost when he moved to a different city. He is buying new stuff to replace all of those lost items. Isn't that super confusing? If I were to send my ex's stuff back, I would say tough luck that your stuff got lost; be happy you got some of it back...
PegNosePete Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Don't try to figure out the reasons behind his actions - any of them! It's irrelevant and it's preventing you from moving on. He knows your address. You don't need to talk to him any more. Whatever he sends you, he sends you. Whatever he doesn't, he doesn't.
Luke22 Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Pegnose Pete is right. At 5 months, you're preventing yourself from moving on with your life. He is part of your past but you keep pulling him into your present life. Moving on requires work and discipline. If you want to move on, stop keeping tabs on him. Remove temptations to find out "the latest scoop". NC is the best way to move towards indifference. Your stuff? Forget it, it's just stuff. Let it go.
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted November 4, 2015 Author Posted November 4, 2015 I understand that but why would he buy replacements for the stuff that got lost in the move? If I'm done with someone, I would stop spending money on them altogether.
PegNosePete Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 why would he buy replacements for the stuff that got lost in the move? Like I said, don't try to figure out the reason for his actions! That kind of thinking will just make your head hurt, you'll never really know for sure, and even if you did it won't help you in the slightest.
stillafool Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Isn't that super confusing? If I were to send my ex's stuff back, I would say tough luck that your stuff got lost; be happy you got some of it back... Not really. He broke off the engagement and feels guilty enough about that. The last thing he wants is for you to lose your possessions as well. I would do the same thing and I wouldn't have to be in love to do this. Stop reaching for bread crumbs. It's over and you need to move on.
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 I don't know if he feels guilty. I never got an explanation why. There was no third party involved - and there still isn't. Commitment phobia? Gay? Either one of those scenarios seem to make sense. He is not 100% straight, and he has a very unhealthy relationship with his mom which can be the cause for commitment problems. Not sure which one it is. I just don't understand how you can break up with someone, and then buy them new stuff.
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