new2dating123 Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 (edited) When is it just to much dog ? I am dating a gal with a hyper 50 pound dog . The dog needs more activity than it gets so it causes trouble to get attention . She takes it along on alot of our outings . When we go inside somewhere she will tie it up out on the sidewalk . It always just lays down and waits but all the time we are in there she worrys and goes outside to check on it . Its in the bed every night and it usually sleeps but its up alot some nights making noise and crawling across the bed . She lets it out twice a night .... more noise . If she leaves it outside it starts barking . When she leaves it in her fenced yard and we go out , many times it will jump over the fence and wander around and she will end up stopping & putting it in the car with us . She lives out of town and i usually go to her place because there is more to do where she lives . She is coming to my place this time and said she is bringing the dog . It will need to be constantly tended to . How much is to much dog ? We have been dating 2 months once a week and all indications show she really likes me alot . She has said she loves me but only a few times , not every date . I dont know exactly how to handle this one . I am thinking of asking her to leave the dog when she comes over . Edited November 4, 2015 by new2dating123
StBreton Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Hey OP I'm a dog person...have had several large dogs. I currently have a golden retriever who is about 6 ...had her since she was 8 weeks old. I've had a german shepherd prior to the golden so used to dogs that can be handfuls. Many people used to comment how "calm" our golden was at a young age ... I nodded my head and said "yes she is calm" ... but she is calm because I taught her how to behave and what was and is acceptable. I am alpha in my house ...well accept when my shih tzu tries to rule the roost with that adorable face of hers and her silly antics and I completely melt but that's another story. My point is...your gf is allowing her dog to call ALL the shots...not acceptable. I'm a "love me love my dog" kinda person and your gf might be as well so if you say anything about her dog she will likely get defensive so if you go that route ... be prepared ... and also be as complimentary about the dog as possible by saying you enjoy the dog but maybe the two of you could get a dog trainer to come into the home to work on some issues so that you can continue to enjoy the dogs company. Then you don't have to be the bad guy but part of the solution. Many people who have dogs want the dogs to be part of their world in as many ways as possible like outings. Your gf sounds like that kind of dog owner and that's a wonderful quality. Being like this though...she needs to step up and get the dog some training so the dog is a joy and not a nuisance. I'd start with having the dog sleep on a mat at the end of the bed... any behavior that is intruding on your sleep several times a night is unacceptable...I could see if the dog is sick and it's an acute situation but every night ... no. Why does the dog have to go out 2 times a night? That's not normal unless the dog is a young puppy, sick as in kidney problems, or hasn't been let out before bedtime. I'd cut off water by 6 pm. If the dog is hyper...it needs to be told to "settle" and stay settled until you engage in play or some other activity. I tell my pups to "go lay down" after we play for 10-15 minutes. Sometimes they come to me and want to play and I engage but if it were many times a day...again I set the pace. Your gf is being too nice ... animals look to humans for direction. If this situation isn't solved it sounds like you'd become fed up so help your gf with some direction as she's unable to establish that herself. 2
StBreton Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 (edited) When a dog is left outside during your outings...it can before anxious. To train a dog not to become anxious under those conditions... leave the dog for 15 minutes with no contact...increase to 30 minutes...etc... Have your gf stick to this routine and the dog will be just fine. Dogs will pick up on our anxiety ... your gf needs to be a strong leader and let the dog know it is fine ... otherwise the dog will be anxious as well. If the dog is outside and starts barking...go out and tell it to settle in a firm voice (after teaching it what "settle" means which is to lie down quietly in a special spot on a special blanket). Put a leash on the dog and take the dog back to its "spot" each time it gets up and barks. After a while the dog will learn. Give the dog praise each time you take it to its "spot" ... let the dog know it gets praise for being in the "good spot" Dogs inherently want to please Leash the dog and hold it close to you when it comes for a visit to your house. Google in house leash training. Have a special blanket the dog lies on when at your house...and have it close to you so you can hold the dog onto the blanket using the leash. Tell it to settle and when it does...give it lots of praise and maybe a treat. Edited November 4, 2015 by StBreton
Author new2dating123 Posted November 4, 2015 Author Posted November 4, 2015 (edited) I agree StBreton . She knows it needs training and will let me do whatever it takes . I even called & got a local trainer lined up and offered to pay half . The problem is she will not take the time to take a serious part in it . When i am alone with the dog i can get it to sit . However when she enters the room the dog just wont listen to me . After reading what you said about a dog not needing to go outside in the night i quickly learned that this is just another way for the dog to get her attention . This dog will circle the bed and lick our head , foot , hand , whatever it can reach till she gets up and lets it out . Thanks for your helpfull input . Edited November 4, 2015 by new2dating123
StBreton Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 I agree StBreton . She knows it needs training and will let me do whatever it takes . I even called & got a local trainer lined up and offered to pay half . The problem is she will not take the time to take a serious part in it . When i am alone with the dog i can get it to sit . However when she enters the room the dog just wont listen to me . After reading what you said about a dog not needing to go outside in the night i quickly learned that this is just another way for the dog to get her attention . This dog will circle the bed and lick our head , foot , hand , whatever it can reach till she gets up and lets it out . Thanks for your helpfull input . well it's a good thing your gf got a dog and not a lion for a pet ... the problem is she needs to think of the dog as a lion. it's truly careless to get a dog and not properly train it to be a joyful addition to the family. why did your gf get the dog anyway...as an accessory? she has a very selfish approach to being an animal owner...unfortunately its the animal that pays the ultimate price...that of not being welcomed. ask your gf why she is so apathetic. tell her if she doesn't participate the dog will not be welcomed...sad it has to come to that but I wouldn't be ok with an animal abusing my otherwise calm house...the dog adapts to YOUR home ... not the other way around. Doesn't mean that dogs can't do their silly little things ... that's fine ... all under the auspices of adapting to your house rules though. also...just because your gf enters the room...if the dog is in your home ...dog goes with YOUR rules...soon the dog will look to you as alpha...just make sure you do fun things with the dog and not just the discipline stuff ...dogs are a lot like kids...actually they are kids ... at least in my home:) Also...the middle of the night stuff...just tell the dog to settle any time it makes a noise...put a leash on the dog at night and put it on a mat so dog doesn't wander and have an accident in the middle of the night. This just till it gets used to not getting up in the middle of the night. Are you sure the dog doesn't have any kind of kidney disease? Dogs who have kidney disease cannot hold it and will need to be let out frequently. How old is the dog? 1
Author new2dating123 Posted November 4, 2015 Author Posted November 4, 2015 Thank you again StBreton you are a great help . She told me she got the dog for a companion . Otherwise i have no idea . This is a 3 year old border collie breed dog . It came from a shelter and had been all serviced and clear bill of health as a pup . Also , this dog has never been in my house . All of the stuff i have decribed has been at her house which is an hour away from my place . I have done fun stuff with the dog quite a bit and tried to bond with it the best i know how . When i tell it to 'sit' it will right away then i praise and pet it . Directly after that and i turn to walk away it runs up behind me and jumps up on me . I try to ignore it but it runs around me several times and jumps up on me like it is a game of some kind . She does not seem interested in any serious training for the dog . i guess that is the answer . Sincerely thanks to you StBreton
Gaeta Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 She told me she got the dog for a companion . Otherwise i have no idea . This is a 3 year old border collie breed dog . It came from a shelter and had been all serviced and clear bill of health as a pup . Also , this dog has never been in my house . All of the stuff i have decribed has been at her house which is an hour away from my place . I have done fun stuff with the dog quite a bit and tried to bond with it the best i know how . When i tell it to 'sit' it will right away then i praise and pet it . Directly after that and i turn to walk away it runs up behind me and jumps up on me . I try to ignore it but it runs around me several times and jumps up on me like it is a game of some kind . She does not seem interested in any serious training for the dog . i guess that is the answer . Sincerely thanks to you StBreton AAARRGG! I hate when people get dogs but don't previously get full information on the breed they're getting. A border collie is the MOST energetic dog of them all, this is not the typical German Shepard or poodle . It needs to RUN, It needs a job, it needs to be exhausted. No training is going to change the fact he is a HIGH energy dog and he needs to drain that energy!! She needs to take him to a park each day, or she needs to get a treadmill and run him. I hate when I walk in town and see people tying up their dog outsides coffee, restaurants or stores and they are not coming right back out. It's cruel and irresponsible. The dog doesn't need to go outside at night, the dog gets in bed and tries to get your attention because it's BORED. If he were properly exercised he'd sleep through the night. I don't know what to tell you. Make her see that trainer, have a talk with the trainer first and have him-her explain the needs of a border collie. If she cannot provide proper exercise to this dog than she needs to rehome the dog where it will be happy! 3
StBreton Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 (edited) Ahhh a border collie...not quite the dog to get for just a "companion" As G has stated ... these dogs are known for their high energy and drive. Aside from the dog's need for an outlet for its energy (I'll address later) the dog needs to stay in the place you have instructed. Have the dog sit and stay. Walk backwards away from dog 5 feet. Wait 30 secs then call dog to you...give it praise. Increase time that it stays in one spot up to 5 min. Increase distance. The dog needs to realize that being in the sit stay position is what its supposed to do. I've had a few dogs go through the Good Canine Citizenship Certificate program and both dogs passed ... my german shepherd was the only dog out of 12 to pass in his class ... doing the sit stay and me walking 20 feet away and staying in his spot for several minutes was one of the tests ... its something I worked on and didn't come naturally to the dog but your gf's dog can do it. Ok for an energy outlet...many border collies are involved in agility training...I did this with my german shepherd who was excellent at it and such a great outlet for his energy. There are many organizations that do have the agility apparatus set up ... maybe do a class and get involved...your border collie is bored and needs an energy outlet and an outlet for its intelligence. Border collies are usually the winners at the agility competitions ... at least where I live ... they are so much fun for the dogs ... maybe you guys could do together? If you can't find a class...buy some cheap orange cones and set up a little course at the park for the dog to run around...buy one of those collapsible tunnels for the dog to run through...youtube some agility maneuvers Its sad your gf didn't think about the type of dog that was best for her lifestyle ... I adopted my german shepherd from a family that didn't have "time" for him...he was 2 yrs old... the best thing that could have happened to him was for him to be adopted by me instead of sitting in a back yard waiting for any attention from his family ... which he sadly didn't get until we adopted him. Its really hard on dogs that have high needs ... if the dog is young ... has your gf thought about finding the dog a more suitable family? If she doesn't want to work with the dog...it's really almost cruel for it to be left with no outlet for its energy then make the dog be the "bad guy" because of its natural tendencies. Irresponsible pet ownership... Edited November 4, 2015 by StBreton
Gaeta Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Ahhh a border collie...not quite the dog to get for just a "companion" As G has stated ... these dogs are known for their high energy and drive. Aside from the dog's need for an outlet for its energy (I'll address later) the dog needs to stay in the place you have instructed. Have the dog sit and stay. Walk backwards away from dog 5 feet. Wait 30 secs then call dog to you...give it praise. Increase time that it stays in one spot up to 5 min. Increase distance. The dog needs to realize that being in the sit stay position is what its supposed to do. I've had a few dogs go through the Good Canine Citizenship Certificate program and both dogs passed ... my german shepherd was the only dog out of 12 to pass in his class ... doing the sit stay and me walking 20 feet away and staying in his spot for several minutes was one of the tests ... its something I worked on and didn't come naturally to the dog but your gf's dog can do it. Ok for an energy outlet...many border collies are involved in agility training...I did this with my german shepherd who was excellent at it and such a great outlet for his energy. There are many organizations that do have the agility apparatus set up ... maybe do a class and get involved...your border collie is bored and needs an energy outlet and an outlet for its intelligence. Border collies are usually the winners at the agility competitions ... at least where I live ... they are so much fun for the dogs ... maybe you guys could do together? If you can't find a class...buy some cheap orange cones and set up a little course at the park for the dog to run around...buy one of those collapsible tunnels for the dog to run through...youtube some agility maneuvers Its sad your gf didn't think about the type of dog that was best for her lifestyle ... I adopted my german shepherd from a family that didn't have "time" for him...he was 2 yrs old... the best thing that could have happened to him was for him to be adopted by me instead of sitting in a back yard waiting for any attention from his family ... which he sadly didn't get until we adopted him. Its really hard on dogs that have high needs ... if the dog is young ... has your gf thought about finding the dog a more suitable family? If she doesn't want to work with the dog...it's really almost cruel for it to be left with no outlet for its energy then make the dog be the "bad guy" because of its natural tendencies. Irresponsible pet ownership... Great post StBreton. Unfortunately I feel OP's girlfriend will opt for laziness. Then her dog will turn destructive out of boredom. OP by the way jumping the fence is also out of boredom. Some people don't understand the dedication involved in being a dog owner especially a working or hunting breed. My c0cker is 8.5 years old and he is just starting to slow down. Those first years I spent hours outside running him whether it was raining or snowing or -30 degrees. 1
xcupid Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 The dog needs training and an outlet for its high energy - long walks at the very least. If it gets excited to go for a walk then its a good way to bond with the dog. It sounds like it might even have separation anxiety especially since it came from a shelter. Looks like the dog is the pack leader in this case and is getting its way. I'll bet it even goes through the door first - in the dog world the pack leader does that. Discourage and do not allow the jumping up - that can be a sign of domination. You must be very patient to allow a dog to sleep in the bed. Personally I wouldn't allow that. Either it sleeps on the floor or on its own bed. When it whines or acts up it should be corrected immediately. But in this case it would have to be retrained since it is used to being in the bed. I doubt at that age it needs to "go" during the night. It's a sign of being restless and it might also be a sign of being in hunting/guarding mode. They're a beautiful breed but they do require training and exercise. Not your typical lap dog, that's for sure.
Author new2dating123 Posted November 5, 2015 Author Posted November 5, 2015 Wow , thanks again everyone for all of the constructive help . I know this is a hasstle . The GF is such an awsome person that i am willing to put up with this stuff and try to help her understand what is right . After a while i will need to put the pressure on a bit more and hope it goes well .
StBreton Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 Wow , thanks again everyone for all of the constructive help . I know this is a hasstle . The GF is such an awsome person that i am willing to put up with this stuff and try to help her understand what is right . After a while i will need to put the pressure on a bit more and hope it goes well . Hey OP It sounded as though you like this girl a lot in your original post so I went all out with my replies...with suggestions so this situation isn't the thorn that rips you apart....and I truly love dogs and when I get one...they have a good and forever home with me ...it's really hard on animals to lose "their people...and giving this animal the best home possible is our job as animal owners. So...If you stay with this girl...even if she doesn't "step up" you treat the dog like "it takes a village" and do things for the dog to train it... because you know what...that experience will forever stay with you that you did the right thing AND you forever helped that dog...AND should you get a dog of your own one day...you'll have some good training experience in your back pocket. FYI...my ex didn't do any of the training with our dogs...we were together 18 years...just wasn't his thing...but I felt good doing the best I could with our "fur babies" ... don't sweat going the extra mile if it's in your heart.
Author new2dating123 Posted November 6, 2015 Author Posted November 6, 2015 WOW StBreton ... you are what friends are all about . I appreciate you 10X over . I am 56 years old and i have been told finding someone at this stage in the game is not all that easy . What you have done for me StBreton is a big help . I will take what you said and put it to work . his gal is to awsome to let a hyper dog get in the way . StBreton your awsome ... THANKS .
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