queenie01 Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Well i guess my slim chance of hope I had is gone now... Its been almost a month since we broke up and I finally emailed my ex today after 3 weeks of no contact to get my things back and he said he was doing good and would drop my stuff off at my place maybe thursday next week...I said thursday should work but i would let him know if i wouldnt... Mind you when we broke up he texted me saying he had an idea to keep my stuff and we would get together in a couple weeks to talk and see how we feel... I told him that the option to talk if he had anything to say is still open since it was his idea... he wrote back and said he has nothing to say really other than he feels bad for the way he handled things... I never responded back to him because what can i possible say to that?? I guess he has no regrets... Im sad : (
ConfusedInOC Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 The single most important thing you can do when a breakup occurs is the REMAIN CALM. Don't let them see you sweat, so to speak. When he comes by to drop off your things, act INDIFFERENT. It's so important for you to maintain your composure. When the reality sets in that he could lose you forever and it's not really effecting you, you're setting him free. And when you do that, the tendency is to come back home. Not always, but there is a chance.
The Prototype Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 It usually takes MUCH longer for many people. Try not to fret, live your life, and see what happens in time. The best way to remind people what they lost is to let them actually lose it.
Author queenie01 Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 So you think i should just not reply to his email.. he just wrote" we can play next thursday by ear as it gets closer to then" and then he said" I really dont have much to say really other than i feel bad for the way i handled things" I saw him at the gym today at 11 and he wont say hi..i just wish he wouldnt even go when im there, makes it hard for me. How can i get over him when i have to see him... I was going to write him an email asking him why he resents me but i didnt do it. I am thinking i can just say what i have to say on thursday and then take my stuff and move on... I really thought he was going to open his eyes and regret what he did, especially since he broke up with me completely out of the blue and for really no reason...
outdated Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 There's always hope, but it's often not delivered in the neat little package that you had want. What you want is for him to come running back, which won't happen at least, like Prototype said, not for a while. What may happen over time is that they will reinsert themselves into your life, having adjusted to what made the relationship go bad in the first place. Just be cool and get on with your life. I hate to say it, but everything will work out how it's supposed to, whether you interpret it as good or bad will be up to you. The hope lies in the knowledge that things will get better with or without the person you currently desire.
Author queenie01 Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 I know you are right...i just had hoped he would come back to me but i guess a month isnt long enough for him to realize what hes lost, if he even ever is going to realize it is another question. As far as i can tell him his short responses, he is happy and has no regrets.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by queenie01 I know you are right...i just had hoped he would come back to me but i guess a month isnt long enough for him to realize what hes lost, if he even ever is going to realize it is another question. As far as i can tell him his short responses, he is happy and has no regrets. Queenie, might I suggest you read the book "Love Must Be Tough" by Dr. James Dobson? He will show that you more you try to cling on to someone that wants to get away, the more they want to get away. Give him his freedom and let him see what he is missing. It's no guarantee that you will win him back but if you cling on tight, you will definitely lose him for sure.
Author queenie01 Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 Well i havent been clingy thus far, i dont even talk to him at all....havent called him once since we have been broken up and only emailed him one time and then again today but only regarding my things...i was giving him his time and his space to see if he would miss me... its time for me to get my things back tho, right now he is in control and i am like a puppet on a sting with him having my things...its not fair to me.
Author queenie01 Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 So yesterday I wound up seeing my ex at work and he emailed me saying he wished it didnt have to be so awkward when we see each other, i told him he made it that way... He said he didnt know what i wanted so he ignored me also he thought i hated him... anyways it turned into a back and forth email war and i pretty much know now that he will not be coming back. He told me it sucked losing me because i was a great girlfriend but he thought something was missing from our relationship and something we couldnt fix. He said he cant believe i didnt realize this...i said i realized our relationship got so boring and that i didnt like how he was treating me so i had planned on pulling away but he beat me to it by breaking up with me. In my mind we could have tried to change things and his "something missing" feeling was the same feeling i was having except in my mind the romance just died because our relationship got too routine... I still think we could have changed thngs and it would have made our relationship new again but its obvious that hes not willing to try.. Im sad : (
greenhorn Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Queenie, I am sorry that you are feeling sad, but I think if some one wants to walk out of relationship let them. Trying to keep them or change them or change for them won't give a favourable result. Breakup hurts but it is less hurting to be in a relationship and then keep hurting every single day. Never accept a relationship based on assumption that tommorrow things are going to change, commitment should come out with any conditions. Look forward in life, you will find better people and those who are right for you.
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