ErinSeMa Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 (edited) Recently started using OKC. Within the first few days, I got tons of likes and messages from guys. Usually after a chat or two, I leave them my number if I find them attractive. I don't know if that is being too easy compared to other girls? I also reply to most of my messages (If I find them cute or if they are not creepy) I will also be meeting one offline after chatting three times. Is that too easy? I got around 80 msgs and some of the guys seems to want to talk, but then again, I feel like they are also doing the same to 100 other girls and this is nothing special. How do you know when a guy actually wants to talk to you or just mass message girls Edited November 3, 2015 by ErinSeMa
LoveRefreshed Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Yes. You should make them send 40 messages just to meet in person and see if.. wait what? No way! OK is just a means to meet more people. You're doing it right
d0nnivain Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 I don't think your are being "easy" in the negative way you are using that word. You are being straightforward & open. You can't know for sure about someone until you meet them in person so doing that sooner rather than later is good. The fact that you are finding a number of men you are interested in meeting puts you ahead of the curve. I remember & people here on LS complain all the time that the pickin's are slim out there. So enjoy yourself. Offering a phone number & agreeing to meet is a far cry from having sex with every guy you come across. Also the men you are talking to don't know how many other men you are taking to nor should they; all they are entitled to know at that this point is that they are not the only men you are talking to.
Author ErinSeMa Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 I don't think your are being "easy" in the negative way you are using that word. You are being straightforward & open. You can't know for sure about someone until you meet them in person so doing that sooner rather than later is good. The fact that you are finding a number of men you are interested in meeting puts you ahead of the curve. I remember & people here on LS complain all the time that the pickin's are slim out there. So enjoy yourself. Offering a phone number & agreeing to meet is a far cry from having sex with every guy you come across. Also the men you are talking to don't know how many other men you are taking to nor should they; all they are entitled to know at that this point is that they are not the only men you are talking to. Thanks! I guess most of them do find me attractive (altho they prob tell them that to every girl). Anyways, how do I make sure they are single before I proceed? I am not that active on social media! Some of them are quite attractive with very good jobs that it is hard to believe they are single.
d0nnivain Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Anyways, how do I make sure they are single before I proceed? I am not that active on social media! Some of them are quite attractive with very good jobs that it is hard to believe they are single. All you can do is ask. Then google them. Also see how much info you get -- phone #, work details like employer's name & at least a hometown. Then watch the behavior. Just because a guy has a good job & is good looking doesn't mean he is taken. He may have just gotten out of a relationship. He may have been focused on work before & is only now ready to think about settling down. While you need to keep your eyes open, there is no reason to expect the worst
Miss Peach Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 I've found that men need to find you attractive to approach. That's nothing new. I don't think it's too easy per se. It's good to move things offline IMO pretty quickly to see what's there. Often times you may or may not click in email but in person the results are very different. The only thing is that it's easy to meet too many men on OLD. You want to keep up your life IME; not just spend all your free time meeting men. At some point you may want to figure out better screening than if a guy's attractive in their picture. Also don't be surprised when guys look better or worse IRL. I've found the majority look better. I'm convinced most guys don't know how to pick pics that are attractive to women.
Author ErinSeMa Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 Is it bad to go on multiple dates? I am not one to sleep around before relationships though. I am just more used to taking longer because I spoke to the last guy for a month before meeting. I also dont want them to think I am easy. I mean some of the guys clearly have a good job (graduated from ivies) etc. They could find someone easily IRL.
ravfour4 Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 You sound young, just because someone graduated from a good school doesn't mean they can easily find someone IRL. In fact, I tend to find that my smartest most successful friends are single while my sit at home and do nothing friends do nothing but try to find a new relationship and have all the time in the world to cultivate it. What you're doing is not being easy, you're being normal. Most women on OKC get hundreds of messages and likely only reply to the ones they find hottest, then lead them on with messages for weeks only to come up with an excuse on the day of the date. The one girl I actually enjoyed meeting through online dating asked me to hangout after a couple messages - I barely feel like we met through online dating since we met in person so soon and we've essentially been dating for 2 months now.
d0nnivain Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Is it bad to go on multiple dates? I am not one to sleep around before relationships though. I am just more used to taking longer because I spoke to the last guy for a month before meeting. I also dont want them to think I am easy. I mean some of the guys clearly have a good job (graduated from ivies) etc. They could find someone easily IRL. It's fine to go on multiple dates. Especially with OLD you should assume the other person is also doing this. Dates are one thing. Having sex . . . well that is up to you & different people draw those lines different places. Do not assume sex means you are exclusive. Until you both talk about exclusivity & verbally agree that you are only dating / sleeping with each other assume there are others. Just because somebody went to an Ivy League school does not mean they can find somebody they like easily. Some of those men may fear that women are only using them for the prestige those schools bring. Evaluate potential partners on who they are as people, not where they work or where they went to school, or worse, what kind of car they drive. I know a lot of rich jerks with impressive resumes. The skills that bring business & financial success can work against having meaningful relationships. Ruthlessness does not translate well into interpersonal relationships.
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