aandy23 Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Hi... I really need to know if anyone here has gone through the "I don't know if I love you anymore" phase. It is happening to me and it's breaking me. I feel so guilty and CONFUSED! Something inside of me tells me that if I have doubts, there isn't love there now, but the other part of me tells me it could only be a crisis?? We've been together 2 and a half years, we've been through a LOT, and now I feel something's changed, but I can't figure out what. I told him I needed time and some space between us to think, he was so heartbroken I can not stand it, the guilt is killing me. Any advice on how to clear up my mind??? Pleaseee
Meli22 Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Something must have happened to cause this shift. It could be boredom or it could be that the honeymoon phase is over and you're adjusting to a more settled relationship, which can feel boring for some.
Samuel_22 Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Hi... I really need to know if anyone here has gone through the "I don't know if I love you anymore" phase. It is happening to me and it's breaking me. I feel so guilty and CONFUSED! Something inside of me tells me that if I have doubts, there isn't love there now, but the other part of me tells me it could only be a crisis?? We've been together 2 and a half years, we've been through a LOT, and now I feel something's changed, but I can't figure out what. I told him I needed time and some space between us to think, he was so heartbroken I can not stand it, the guilt is killing me. Any advice on how to clear up my mind??? Pleaseee I would say it is pretty normal, 2 and half years is a long time at least for a person like me, the longest RS I have ever had was about 2 years, to be honest things did not feel the same after the 1st year. I am an adrenaline addict, and anything more than a year or a year and half leads me to boredom, I hate a routine life and RS turn into routines after that period of time for me, I don't want to comment on what you have to do, because I broke up with my ex, made friends with a girl, for whom I was just a reboundee, and now it has been 3 months that I have been single. I made a mistake? maybe... I don't want to overthink it, I did what I did and I paid the price. You may as well do the same thing I did, it is just like tossing a dice, you will either win or become bankrupt, either way it is your decision.
Meli22 Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 I will say.. If it is boredom, tread carefully because if you leave this relationship it's likely the same thing will happen in your next. Relationships do take work. Sparks ebb and flow and things have to be spiced up now and then. Just my two cents
mightycpa Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Hi... I really need to know if anyone here has gone through the "I don't know if I love you anymore" phase. It is happening to me and it's breaking me. I feel so guilty and CONFUSED! Something inside of me tells me that if I have doubts, there isn't love there now, but the other part of me tells me it could only be a crisis?? We've been together 2 and a half years, we've been through a LOT, and now I feel something's changed, but I can't figure out what. I told him I needed time and some space between us to think, he was so heartbroken I can not stand it, the guilt is killing me. Any advice on how to clear up my mind??? Pleaseee You're experiencing what most people experience. What's unusual is that you shared your doubts, rather than nursing them siilently, and then blindsiding your BF later. Being "in love" is a chemical change in the brain that puts you into a state of bliss and obsession, mixed in with a great deal of illusion that your partner is the greatest thing since sliced toast. It doesn't last forever, about two years is usually the max. Then you start to glide downhill from that, and this is the period during which you figure out whether you really love somebody, or whether you were just infatuated. The younger you are, the more likely you will go in search of something more. But young or not, you begin to see this person for who they are and intuitively, you know whether you have a match on your hands or not. There is nothing that you can do really, other than trust your gut on this. If you leave, it doesn't mean that you will be a serial quitter, but you might. You will love again, but it may not be soon. None of that matters. The worst thing you can do for the both of you is stay with somebody on because they love you ... you stay with people because you love them, not the other way around. Your emotions will lead you in the direction that is correct for you. Trust them, but don't rush to any decisions and keep sharing where you're at with your BF. Yes, it may hurt him, but at least he'll see it coming and can prepare himself. 1
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