Brady_to_Moss Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 So the girls i am with..has a rough rough past. She was raped when she was a teenager and sexually assaulted. Never had a good relationship with her mother and seems to have self esteem issues (probably due to the incident) since all she puts on IG is selfies. She beautiful so i guess she's looking for attention..it doesn't really bother me that much that aspect..you have to pick and choose your battles in relationships. But now she's starting to talk less and less and it seems like before me there were other short flares if you would call it that. I love this girl so much and she loves me..or at least i hope she still has those feelings the past months when our communication has sucked. Being with a girl with these problems doesn't turn me off. She's so sweet..nice..all of the above. But it feels like it will be a challenge to break down these walls she has...and rightfully so she has these walls based on the past. I don't want to NOT be with someone based on their past...i just don't want to get sucked down when she has these rough periods if that makes sense...but that's always going to come with the territory with her isn't it?
Grumpybutfun Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Honestly, you can't save her. She has to get the resources and have the insight to help herself. As someone who is married to someone with a rough childhood, I could only be supportive while she sought the professional help and released all of her abusers, going NC. I couldn't save her. I want to caution you on one point...if she isn't treating you well, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her and you don't deserve that silent treatment or her anger walls. Set boundaries and make sure she knows you are a support, but you won't be a whipping post for her past. You do not deserve anything but respect and kindness if you are being respectful and kind. Good luck, Grumps 2
Odinani Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 It's not clear to me what the problem is. Too many IG selfies? Are the selfies very revealing? Like is she naked?
d0nnivain Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 You need to remember that you are her BF not her therapist. Don't mix up those roles. Her past will always be a part of her & it will color her perspective on many things. Those walls are there for a reason. If she lets you in, great. But I'm not entirely sure making her tear them down is in her best interests.
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