I told the guy I really care about that I hopes he catches an STD

[angel994]

NOW BEFORE YOU JUDGE READ THE STORY!!

 

Last Saturday I saw him and a pretty close friend of mine dancing at a party and she told me that she went back to his room and slept with him in his bed but they didn't do anything. I feel very betrayed and hurt. I apologized for tjhe STD comment and told him i felt betrayed. I was drunk texting. I apologized to him and he basically said that he knows i didn't mean it and that he stills loves me but he is going to dance with who he wants. A dance is a dance and that he just wants to have fun.

 

This was the first time that he said he loved me.

 

I have been talking to this guy for 5 months and he said I missed my chance of a relationship in the beginning because I called him and told him I wanted to stop talking ( I did it out of fear and explained this to him.)Me and this guy have been hot and cold since then. He told me he wanted to focus on himself and did not want a relationship but likes me and enjoys my company. He also said that he'll regret not wifing me up in the future and i'll look back and say I can't believe I dated a jerk like him. He has always been there for me even when I have said pretty harsh things to him when I'm upset at how he treats ms. This semester he has been talking to and having sex with other girls. This hurt me but i accepted it because i realized he wasn't mine.

 

Is it possible to love a girl not want to be in a relationship with her and sleep with one of her friends?

 

Obviously I would not wish an STD upon anyone. I admitted to him that it was a nasty and terrible thing to say. I just had never felt so hurt in my life. Drunk texting is no good

[Phoenician]

Angel ,

 

From what I red , you are a young sensitive girl in her early twenties .

 

In life there are three phases ,

learning <25 or 30 , suffering (30+), and finally expressing 40++

 

in the learning phase you you are still absorbing everything around you ; the love you are talking about is more than going into an experience rather than love .

 

 

The most important now , you need to set your beliefs and make sure that ppl who are close to you respect your beliefs .

 

My opinion is that you are not wrong in expressing your anger regarding the above issue , I am not sure if he slept with that girl or not , the fact they stayed on the same bed is suspicious .

 

what is more important from my point of view is that if you apologized ( though in my opinion you shouldn't because he is the one who made a mistake ) , if he is still angry then this guy is a passive aggressive person .

 

In such a case , throw the towel .

[basil67]

You sound like you're complicated and probably a lot of hard work. This could explain why he doesn't want a relationship with you.

[Phoenician]

You sound like you're complicated and probably a lot of hard work. This could explain why he doesn't want a relationship with you.

 

They are both young in their early twenties ,

she got to know that he just cuddled ( which I doubt) with some girl ;she wished that he get STD ;so now the issue became that she is aggressive !

 

IMO things are unclear , but if he considers her as his girlfriend , he is an a**hole to make her feel guilty rather than feel guilty of cheating on her...

[loveiswar101]

Have read it and really if not together what he or what you do is no ones business. Neither of you want to give it seems.

 

Maybe he just see's you as a good friend no more, yet I get the drift you see it as more.

 

Love doesn't happen over night in my eyes or in a few months, it takes time. So at the moment you are both young id say and both need to have fun. Don't get all worked up on him it will only lead to sadness.

 

Alternatively, do you at the moment have it in you to hang out with him as friends and have fun, then taking it from there ?

[d0nnivain]

Being a college student is tough. There are new situations, new people & complicated messes like this.

 

 

No it's not possible for him to be "in love" with you, not want a relationship with you & still behave the way he does. What he wants & what you are giving him is a huge ego boost because you pant after him no matter what he does. Even when he pulls crap like sleeping with other girls, you get mad then you get over it.

 

 

First, if he respected you he would not be dancing with other women & throwing them in your face. When a man genuinely cares about a woman the he works to make her feel like the most important person in the world. I'm not saying he never dances with anybody but you but that you know he's coming right back to you as soon as the song is over & there is a respectable distance between him & the other women.

 

 

Second don't you believe for a minute that nothing happened. While they may not have had sex, there was probably a lot of other stuff going on in that bed.

 

 

Finally going forward, if you like a guy even if you are afraid, don't lie to him or yourself by saying that you don't like him. Be more mature then that. You don't have to confess your love for him. You can simply keep your mouth shut. But saying the opposite of what you mean in some misguided attempt to use reverse psychology won't make him chase you.

 

 

This guy is a player in the worst way. He's a user & bad news. Move on.

[angel994]

Thanks for your thoughts everyone! I am very sensitive about the situation because this is the first guy that I have been involved with. He was first kiss, my first date etc.

 

Like I said earlier he was very hot and cold. Back in October he decided that he wanted to try to have a relationship again and treated me as such by taking me out to dinner and being really attentive. There were multiple times when it genuinely seemed like he wanted to work things out or demonstrated that he was willing to go the extra mile to meet my needs. I remained hopeful because i deep down felt like all the blame was on me and that if I showed him that he could trust me with his heart (he apparently got screwed over a lot in the past) he would want to be in a relationship.

 

I guess the hardest thing for me to get over is the fact that I never meant anything to him. I do think he is a player and that he's been stringing me along. I have learned my lesson and am moving forward with removing him from my life.