Bo34 Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 (edited) I read an interesting article (link below) and it really made me think about my current situation with my recent ex. I don't know how often people who are dumped daydream, but with me it's been pretty constant. It's not to say that I'm obsessed, because I've slowly come around the reality that my ex is never coming back, but the last 3-4 months have been very rough on me. From an abrupt ending of being dumped by my ex who I planned on marrying to my professional career coming to a huge halt, it's been pretty overwhelming. I wanted to know if any of you guys have shared/experienced something similar? In this article it talks about daydreaming and how they usually fall into one of two categories. 1) Being the "Conquering Hero" 2) Being the "Suffering Martyr" The article talks about those who have been unappreciated or have been in a relationship where a former lover who finished a relationship is begging for a reconciliation fall into the "Suffering Martyr" category. It states that the daydreamer imagines situations where other people (your ex) come to regret their selfishness and acknowledge what a wonderful person the daydreamer really is. This really hit home, because it's been a little over 3 months since my breakup and even though I find myself thinking about my ex less and less with the passing of time, I now find myself daydreaming more and more but in a very different way; The daydreams no longer involve my ex in a physical sense. (No daydreams of the past, no daydreams related to nostalgia and times we shared, no daydreams of her and me interacting in any kind of way). Rather they only involve me self-improving and becoming successful at a later point in time from now, and her seeing me as this self-improved successful person. It's a common theme that I find myself in all the time. The article then states "Daydreams that recur, particularly escapist ones, can mean you need to change something in your life. It doesn’t have to be something dramatic; it could just be taking up an activity or hobby, to give you stimulation or the recognition you feel you lack.’ Sometimes the daydream itself can be therapeutic." With my case, where it's a recurrence theme, I think my mind is trying to tell me that I really have to start with just changing everything I'm daydreaming about. This involves taking more risk, moving to a more desired city for my career, and start really getting wired with improving my career. What are your guys' thoughts?? Have any of you been in a similar situation where you find yourself daydreaming/thinking less about your ex in a physical sense but more about the future and being more successful? Here's the link; https://www.psychologies.co.uk/self/what-your-daydreams-reveal-about-you.html Edited November 3, 2015 by Bo34
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