If I'm really attractive and nice, how come no one wants to commit to me??

[CosmicGate7]

Lol, 6/10, 6.5, 9...Where do these numbers come from? Have scientists agreed on a universal hotness scale?

 

of course not

 

 

Some of you guys are getting overboard with this rating thing. Attractive people are attractive. One person's 7 can be another person's 9

[LexiB]

I know maybe 50 attractive women and less than 10 are single. The ones who are single are so by choice and are usually messing around with several different dudes looking for mr perfect.

 

 

I just don't see it in real life

 

Well you are seeing it in what you just described.

 

If "by choice" here means, having standards for who they want to be in a relationship with, then yeah, duh, those women are single by choice. But unless they truly do want to be single, it's not a real choice.

 

Sure, an attractive person can find SOMEONE to be in a relationship with. But it's still very difficult to find someone you actually WANT (who you're attracted to, who gives you the support you need, who you can grow with, shares your values, etc., etc.).

 

The trifecta of physical, mental and emotional compatability is hard to find. You seem to be overlooking that.

[CosmicGate7]

Well you are seeing it in what you just described.

 

If "by choice" here means, having standards for who they want to be in a relationship with, then yeah, duh, those women are single by choice. But unless they truly do want to be single, it's not a real choice.

 

Sure, an attractive person can find SOMEONE to be in a relationship with. But it's still very difficult to find someone you actually WANT (who you're attracted to, who gives you the support you need, who you can grow with, shares your values, etc., etc.).

 

The trifecta of physical, mental and emotional compatability is hard to find. You seem to be overlooking that.

 

 

I never said having standards is a bad thing. I've personally never had a girlfriend and have basically zero real dating experience and even I have standards - primarily because no relationship is a bad relationship

 

 

With that being said, the single attractive women I know aren't looking for just a good match, they're looking for absolute perfection across the board which is why none of the 508250583205 guys who are interested in them are good enough. I'm not saying this is right or wrong but it's hard for me to consider that person "Truly single"

 

 

Also I disagree with you that a good looking person can easily get a relationship. I'm probably about a 8/10 in real life as a male, football player physique, GQ style, extremely successful, etc... and I couldn't even get a date unless I show interest in a woman who is 30 or 40 lbs overweight

[GunslingerRoland]

Some people put out vibes that don't really match their personality, some people put out a really cold vibe when they are actually friendly. What you need to do is try to get some impartial honest opinions of how you come across and then try to adjust.

 

Forget the people dissing your looks on here, you are clearly pretty enough, that men should be approaching you.

 

OLD, is a different story, just read any of the threads on here about it, a lot of women complaining that they only find guys looking for sex, and a lot of guys complaining they can't find a woman at all. It works out for some, but it's the minority.

[Leigh 87]

Duh I didn't say I'm 9 or 10.. If I have to rate myself I would probably say 7 or something, so similar to you. And I don't dream myself of being with a 9 or 10. All the guys I liked are around 7 too(at least I think) , as you said,"cute" men.

 

 

And if you can have a bf, theoretically I should be able to as well?

 

 

I do want to "ask some HONEST acquaintances" except I don't know any?

 

So you're assuming other people find you better looking?

 

I have always attracted men and I've always had men tell me they think I'm gorgeous. Despite being a "plain Jane "

 

You just have to enhance your attributes that are feminine and attractive. ........

 

I have full lips and nice teeth so i wear lip liner and shiny gloss so my lips stand out.

 

I am also slim with 32 DDs....... with a small ish waist snd curves. . So I wear conservative yet semi tight dresses that show my figure without being revealing. ....

 

And I have very long hair.

 

Even on a 6, the fact I show off my assets makes me a 7 in my opinion.

 

And I never had issues attracting men that wanted to date me....... some were duds but I have always had decent guys crushing on me who I turned down due to lack of spark on my end.

 

So..... if you're more attractive than me there is something about you that is stopping men from wanting to date you.

[MoreAmore]

... sorry. inappropriate.

Edited November 3, 2015 by MoreAmore
inappropriate

[Leigh 87]

I'm interested in understanding why you think attractive women have an easier time finding a partner.

 

As I already mentioned, the last guy I dated would not be seen as "conventionally" attractive by anyone. Way out of my league? Not even close. I do not seek 9's or 10's. I don't trust attractive men. (Sorry guys.)

 

Seeking jerks and players? What rational woman intentionally seeks jerks and players?

 

And then of course you have retarded articles like this one: You'll worry about other guys trying to sleep with her: The Ways We Blow It With Babes - AskMen

 

If you really want to be amused, just read the comments. "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, don't make a pretty woman your wife."

 

I've been told from many people that I "intimidate." That's the only reason I can really attribute to my lack of success.

 

Mmmm

 

Umm, you're pretty but you're not a model like my friend. She intimidates. She's Russian, slim, amazing green eyes full lips ANDa tiny model nose. ......

 

You're very pretty but to intimidate men you need to be pretty flawless.

 

People pull the intimidating card to be nice....... heck, even I have had some friends and EVEN MEN tell me that I intimidated them/that men must be intimidated by me:sick: and we all know I am a bit of a butterface (great figure average face). People say it to be nice to pretty who can't find the right guy...." you're just too pretty, men won't think they stand a chance "

 

It is a competitive world out there....it does pretty woman NO favours to have them walk around and assume they must just be too attractive and therfore intimidating. .... It's your style, your personality and how warm and approachable you are that matter AND you need to be pretty to some men.........

 

I know very beautiful woman who aren't intimidating to men because of their sunny demeanour and overall friendly vibe they give out. These woman are NEVER single. ...

[mike_89]

Well OP, if you really want to know the answer, ask every guy you went on a date with and didn't work out why they didn't want to commit to you. Ask them to be brutally honest and straight to the point (because if they start coming with "socially acceptable reasons" to not hurt your feelings those still won't be the actual reasons). I think that would be the most accurate answer you can get, because all we can do on this forum is speculate. We have never seen you, we do not know you, and we haven't been on a date with you.

(And attractive really does mean more than just your appearance, maybe you are acting very clingy or whatever, that has nothing to do with your body or the way you look but it's still very unattractive and bound to scare guys off).

[GemmaUK]

I haven't read the whole thread. I did see your pic though and you're beautiful Frus so it's definitely nothing to do with looks.

No one appeals to everyone but you are definitely not unattractive in any way at all.

 

I saw a few pages back a few people asking for your definition of nice and whether you might be too agreeable or maybe just another thought is that you're always free when they want to be in touch or go on a date?

Part of the fun of dating is missing someone and knowing they aren't always right there. It makes life a bit more mysterious and keeps some of that element of the chase going for both parties.

[katiegrl]

Dude stop looking for answers that font require self reflection. If you're certain that you're physically desirable then it's likely you're either a push over or are not interesting to them. Or you're bad at showing you're interesting side. However, anyone with 69 in a name is probably needing some lessons in being smooth...

 

Why are you calling a woman a dude?

 

 

That's low...

[kpl]

There is no attraction equation everyone likes different things. There is no reason why anyone is attracted to anyone else. We could all pick this a part all day but different ppl like different things. And while I think you are very attractive, it's silly to talk about b/c plenty of "unattractive" ppl are married/dating, etc.

 

I suspected from the beginning and still stand by this that your wiring of what you find attractive might be off. It sounded like with the 3 guys you did meet you stayed too long / didnt weed them out / they were half interested and you didn't catch it.

 

The other issue might be where you live and the amount of effort you are putting into OLD and if you are "playing" the OLD dating game....reaching out to guys too and being active on the site typically gets more page views. Just putting up a picture probably won't cut it. If you want to do OLD I think it takes effort and for some it feels like a small one and others it feels like work.

 

I remember a couple of years ago I said to myself I would go on 50 dates in a year and used OLD to do that. I surpassed my expectations and found so many guys to date. This was years after feeling like there was no one out there for me. The minute I made it a goal and decided I wanted to put in the effort and not passively try OLD it worked I found ppl and now it seems so much easier to me.

[Leigh 87]

Attractiveness has very little to do with relationships. I am not very attractive. I'd consider myself average at best. I've always had many men wanting relationships with me.

 

There's something else.

 

Are you pushing very much on wanting a relationship moreso than wanting a relationship with a specific especially awesome person and happier being single otherwise? No one wants to be with a relationship because the person doesn't like being single. It should be about the person.

 

What are you looking for in a guy exactly? What do you feel you have to offer?

 

I am the same.....

 

A total plain Jane yet I have always had decent men wanting to date me.

 

I can't relate to pretty girls who can't keep a guy or get a guy. I am not pretty and I've never hsd this issue.

[BLND]

In some cultures there's a saying that goes: "if only I had the luck of the not pretty."

 

Pretty girls always have it tougher than the rest,that's a known fact.

[katiegrl]

 

I am also slim with 32 DDs.......

 

So..... if you're more attractive than me there is something about you that is stopping men from wanting to date you.

 

Not necessarily. See bolded.

 

 

Many men would be happy to date a "plain jane" in exchange for 32 DDs..

 

 

IMO, that's way too big, but whatevs.... many men like large boobs.

 

 

Both KatZee AND the OP have model looks. Keep in mind their photos were not enhanced... little to no makeup, etc.

 

 

They could easily pass for models if they were to get all dolled up like you.

 

 

And with the lighting and all... hell yeah!

[Leigh 87]

Not necessarily. See bolded.

 

 

Many men would be happy to date a "plain jane" in exchange for 32 DDs..

 

 

IMO, that's way too big, but whatevs.... many men like large boobs.

 

 

Both KatZee AND the OP have model looks. Keep in mind their photos were not enhanced... little to no makeup, etc.

 

 

They could easily pass for models if they were to get all dolled up like you.

 

 

And with the lighting and all... hell yeah!

 

They are both prettier girls than me.

 

I don't get dolled up though. ...

 

I wear mascara and lip colour.

 

I don't know how to apply eye shadow or blush or foundation. I swear on my mothers life.

 

I think KatZee is a 7.5 Or 8 with make up but she may have a plain body.

 

She has a nice nose and eyes but when I search for a "beauty " they need to have ALL their features stand out.

 

My friend is a model and has the full lips, large eyes nice teeth and shes slim....

 

That is what you call an 8+

 

I think we just have different standards. Beautiful to me = full lips, large pretty eyes snd a small nose on a decent face shape. I don't see features such as thin lips or large noses like mine to the be attractive in any instances. ...........

 

I am also friends with a Gernan supermodel. Again, ALL her features are stunning. Katzee and theOP are very pretty but not even close to what my model friends are.

 

I am being honest. Again - both girls are SIGNIFICANTLY more attractive than I am.

[Leigh 87]

Anyway, it's been agreed upon that it is NOT the OPS looks that is holding her back.

 

The OP snd Katzee are very pretty girls! Maybe they share the same set backs?

 

I don't think we should just take someone's word when they "asses themselves " as " very attractive "

 

Come on now, how many physically unpleasant people have you met that " CLAIMED " to be tall and ha ndsome? ????

 

We are doing people a disservice if we blindly agree with them regarding their "very pretty " looks.

[smackie9]

IMO it's not about your picker being off, it's not having the ability to read the person by picking up on social cues/ body language/reaction, from observing them during on that first date.

 

I have had friends that were smitten for a guy, but me on the other hand knew right away he was a slime bag. I guess you have to set your emotions aside and take a good look objectively.

 

As for keeping a guy's interest and make them truly have a serious interest in you, (it goes the same with the guys)...be cheeky, flirty, cocky, sexy, fun, but what a guy really wants deep down is a woman that really understands them as a man and them personally with confidence and ease. Pull them in emotionally not just physically.

 

I find the focus is more on me me me and "what I want" and not what they want. So I totally get why the guys on here make comments about some women expect too much.