If I'm really attractive and nice, how come no one wants to commit to me??

November 3, 2015

I get the sense that most of you are not being entirely truthful. You are likely seeking jerks and players or you're trying for men who are way out of your league. I know lots of awesome guys who would be GREAT boyfriends. It's not difficult to find, at all.

If you ladies were to be truly honest, you would probably admit that you bypass the great guys for the jerkoffs that are beloved by many women. There is no other explanation for it in my mind.

Are those "jerks and players" often good looking? If yes then I don't think I'm seeking jerks because I don't even think about dating a 8 or 9. But if not, then maybe, I am unknowingly attracted to jerks.....

November 3, 2015

Sometimes two people can look great on paper (decent looking, steady job, great family/friends, no social/mental issues, etc) but when they actually meet, the chemistry just isn't there. It's nobody's fault. Sometimes it just doesn't work out as a mathematical formula.

true but you don't think it's strange if it's a reoccurring theme?

November 3, 2015

this forum fascinates me. So many decent looking women here who find difficult to be very difficult. I never even thought this was possible before I came here.

I get the sense that most of you are not being entirely truthful. You are likely seeking jerks and players or you're trying for men who are way out of your league. I know lots of awesome guys who would be GREAT boyfriends. It's not difficult to find, at all.

If you ladies were to be truly honest, you would probably admit that you bypass the great guys for the jerkoffs that are beloved by many women. There is no other explanation for it in my mind.

I'm interested in understanding why you think attractive women have an easier time finding a partner.

As I already mentioned, the last guy I dated would not be seen as "conventionally" attractive by anyone. Way out of my league? Not even close. I do not seek 9's or 10's. I don't trust attractive men. (Sorry guys.)

Seeking jerks and players? What rational woman intentionally seeks jerks and players?

And then of course you have retarded articles like this one: You'll worry about other guys trying to sleep with her: The Ways We Blow It With Babes - AskMen

If you really want to be amused, just read the comments. "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, don't make a pretty woman your wife."

I've been told from many people that I "intimidate." That's the only reason I can really attribute to my lack of success.

Edited November 3, 2015 by KatZee

November 3, 2015

I'm interested in understanding why you think attractive women have an easier time finding a partner.

As I already mentioned, the last guy I dated would not be seen as "conventionally" attractive by anyone. Way out of my league? Not even close. I do not seek 9's or 10's. I don't trust attractive men. (Sorry guys.)

Seeking jerks and players? What rational woman intentionally seeks jerks and players?

And then of course you have retarded articles like this one: You'll worry about other guys trying to sleep with her: The Ways We Blow It With Babes - AskMen

I've been told from many people that I "intimidate." That's the only reason I can really attribute to my lack of success.

I know maybe 50 attractive women and less than 10 are single. The ones who are single are so by choice and are usually messing around with several different dudes looking for mr perfect.

I just don't see it in real life

November 3, 2015

I know maybe 50 attractive women and less than 10 are single. The ones who are single are so by choice and are usually messing around with several different dudes looking for mr perfect.

I just don't see it in real life

Just because YOU don't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Also depends on where you live. I'm in a major city. Guys here do not settle. Ever.

November 3, 2015

Just because YOU don't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Also depends on where you live. I'm in a major city. Guys here do not settle. Ever.

I'm not posting in the middle of bum**** Alabama. I live in one of the absolute wealthiest cities in the country of over 100K population. Guys don't settle but you said you're good looking, good job, car, house, etc....Why would guys be settling for you if they went out with you?

You know you're the female version of me right?

November 3, 2015

I'm not posting in the middle of bum**** Alabama. I live in one of the absolute wealthiest cities in the country of over 100K population. Guys don't settle but you said you're good looking, good job, car, house, etc....Why would guys be settling for you if they went out with you?

You know you're the female version of me right?

100k population?

Try 10 million. :lmao::lmao:

No, guys don't settle. It wouldn't matter if you were a solid 10, making 6 figures. To guys around here, there is ALWAYS something better right around the corner, and guys around where I am are terrified of locking it in with one woman when there are so many to explore.

Where I am, women outnumber men. 53% female to 47% male. Doesn't seem like a huge number gap but account for those already in relationships, already married, those who are gay, asexual, pansexual, betasexual, and whatever other new terms have come out in the last few months, those who are perpetual playboys, and then you notice that the percentage of men who are looking to seriously date and find their wife is pretty low.

So women have to compete, compete, compete for the small percentage of men that fit the criteria. Attractive (to them), and wanting to be in a monogamous relationship.

The majority of women I know in my life, who live in my area, are single. We all encounter the exact same problems. It's already been shown that where I live is pretty much the worst place to date. It's unfortunate because I can't leave due to my career. So it is what it is.

November 3, 2015

Hmm I had 3 mini relationships in last 2.5 years.
First lasted for a year but took him 6 months to decide that he would like a relationship with me. Ended with him saying he lost feelings/wanted to experience more things.

Second lasted 3 months? He went back to his ex. 6 months later he came back but I couldn't trust him anymore.

Third lasted like 2 months. He just faded. I guess, he wasn't that ready because he was just out of a relationship?

And other guys from OLD just said they wanted sex before even met me.

The last two partners are understandable. They had baggage to sort through and it really doesn't have much to do with you. I would chalk that up to a lesson to tread very lightly and not give your heart to men who have come out of traumatic breakups.

For the first guy, what would you say are your other qualities that you bring to the table in a relationship besides your beauty?

Did you have good banter with these partners? Was the sex good and frequent? Did you enjoy spending lots of time with each other? Did you do feminine things for him? Did you support him emotionally and make him feel like a man?

November 3, 2015

100k population?

Try 10 million. :lmao::lmao:

No, guys don't settle. It wouldn't matter if you were a solid 10, making 6 figures. To guys around here, there is ALWAYS something better right around the corner, and guys around where I am are terrified of locking it in with one woman when there are so many to explore.

Where I am, women outnumber men. 53% female to 47% male. Doesn't seem like a huge number gap but account for those already in relationships, already married, those who are gay, asexual, pansexual, betasexual, and whatever other new terms have come out in the last few months, those who are perpetual playboys, and then you notice that the percentage of men who are looking to seriously date and find their wife is pretty low.

So women have to compete, compete, compete for the small percentage of men that fit the criteria. Attractive (to them), and wanting to be in a monogamous relationship.

The majority of women I know in my life, who live in my area, are single. We all encounter the exact same problems. It's already been shown that where I live is pretty much the worst place to date. It's unfortunate because I can't leave due to my career. So it is what it is.

-I don't know what I would rate myself but I posted a picture, that in my mind makes me look very mediocre compared to real life, yet everybody here said I was anywhere from decent looking to extremely handsome so let's say I'm at least a 7.5/10 to 8/10 in real life.

-I make 180K at 26 in a reasonable cost of living area. If you're living in NY or LA, I live about the same quality of life there as somebody making 300-350K a year

-I have a college degree, I'm educated and intelligent yet still fun to be around

I would be perfectly happy dating a 7/10 female who worked as a waitress and I would be 100% loyal and monogamous. I would be an awesome boyfriend. I'm not the only one - I have a good friend of mine who is a big, buff, handsome dude who is making 120K as a pharmacist and he would be very happy to date even a moderately decent looking female.

It's very hard for me to believe what you're saying, for the most part, women have way way higher standards than men across the board. It would shatter your mind to see what standards men have to face.

November 3, 2015

-I don't know what I would rate myself but I posted a picture, that in my mind makes me look very mediocre compared to real life, yet everybody here said I was anywhere from decent looking to extremely handsome so let's say I'm at least a 7.5/10 to 8/10 in real life.
-I make 180K at 26 in a reasonable cost of living area. If you're living in NY or LA, I live about the same quality of life there as somebody making 300-350K a year
-I have a college degree, I'm educated and intelligent yet still fun to be around

Are you single? (been able to find a relationship?)

November 3, 2015

Are you single? (been able to find a relationship?)

lol no, I've never had a girlfriend. I've had maybe 1 date in 2 years and it was garbage

My point is that there is nothing wrong with you ladies. Stop being so harsh on yourself - most guys just want somebody we can look at who is a good person. Male standards aren't that high

November 3, 2015

For the first guy, what would you say are your other qualities that you bring to the table in a relationship besides your beauty?

Did you have good banter with these partners? Was the sex good and frequent? Did you enjoy spending lots of time with each other? Did you do feminine things for him? Did you support him emotionally and make him feel like a man?

The first guy never really let me in so yeah sex was good conversation was fun but he has always been very independent he didn't need me to do anything for him or support him emotionally whatsoever.

November 3, 2015

lol no, I've never had a girlfriend. I've had maybe 1 date in 2 years and it was garbage

My point is that there is nothing wrong with you ladies. Stop being so harsh on yourself - most guys just want somebody we can look at who is a good person. Male standards aren't that high

I just meant, you certainly sound good (at least on paper, probably like us) and why would no woman want to date you? Is it possible we have the same problem etc..

November 3, 2015

Crap personality

Princess

Bad in bed

Cray cray

Are all reasons men drop attractive women.

November 3, 2015

I just meant, you certainly sound good (at least on paper, probably like us) and why would no woman want to date you? Is it possible we have the same problem etc..

I don't have the same problem as you guys

I've been out on dates with maybe 4 or 5 women in my life and 3 out of those wanted to date me long term - none of them were even moderately attractive. I'm not saying that I need a 9 but they weren't even a 6 or a 7. If I get a date, I usually close the deal - it's just that finding a woman who even wants to go out on a date with me is incredibly rare - usually happens once every few years.

November 3, 2015

I don't have the same problem as you guys

I've been out on dates with maybe 4 or 5 women in my life and 3 out of those wanted to date me long term - none of them were even moderately attractive. I'm not saying that I need a 9 but they weren't even a 6 or a 7. If I get a date, I usually close the deal - it's just that finding a woman who even wants to go out on a date with me is incredibly rare - usually happens once every few years.

And doesn't it confuse you why you cant find a pretty woman to go on date with??

We sure sound like we are in the same situation?

November 3, 2015

I just meant, you certainly sound good (at least on paper, probably like us) and why would no woman want to date you? Is it possible we have the same problem etc..

What all these men have in common is that they are at their core unavailable. Being addicted to unavailable men is really a true phenomenon. I recommend doing some reading at Baggage Reclaim.

Keep your mind open to the possibility that your brain is treating available men as invisible because they don't do it for you. Not saying that's what's happening with 100% conviction, but be open to the possibility and read up on it.

November 3, 2015

What all these men have in common is that they are at their core unavailable. Being addicted to unavailable men is really a true phenomenon. I recommend doing some reading at Baggage Reclaim.

Keep your mind open to the possibility that your brain is treating available men as invisible because they don't do it for you. Not saying that's what's happening with 100% conviction, but be open to the possibility and read up on it.

Hmm what I don't get is they had girlfriends before me and/or continue to have girlfriends after me?? Can they still be emotionally unavailable ?

I just never know anyone who's single for life..

November 3, 2015

And doesn't it confuse you why you cant find a pretty woman to go on date with??
We sure sound like we are in the same situation?

hmmm, the difference is that you all have lots and lots of men attracted to you but you can't seem to make them want to date you. I don't really have women attracted to me at all.

I guess my problem is that I can't even get to step 1, while you guys are getting to step 3 but can't finish off the whole thing if that makes sense.

November 3, 2015

frus69, you talk about having sex after 3 or 4 dates with some....and about people who do the fade after 1-2 months. So getting dates and meeting men doesn't seem to be the problem. And I think these guys are giving ample time to get to know you.

I'm guessing that there's not enough connection between you and the men you date to sustain a relationship. Without knowing more, it's very hard to say where you're going wrong.

You mentioned that you've got nobody close enough to ask for an opinion on this. What's going on with regular friendships? Perhaps there's a clue in this area?

November 3, 2015

OP, i don't know if we have enough information from what you said. From what you DID say, I think you can't depend just on OLD and not make real attempts in real life. If the only real opportunities you mentioned are at the grocery store, you need to create more real life opportunities. Socialize, do some group activities without just the intention to meet guys but to have fun. Get a routine in place that has you out and about in the areas of interest you have. And expand your circle of friends. Get passionate about the life you have now. The enthusiasm transfers! Be more targeted with where you are looking. OLD prob casts a wide net where you are meeting a lot of duds or people who don't respond to you. If you look at how a large percentage of people meet and fall in love it is through things like this: friends, social activities, hobbies, work. Try to maximize everything you've got in terms of meeting people opportunities, looking good all the time, not just when you are on a date or going out to a party or bar. Be more flirty, free, fun-loving. Good luck.

Edited November 3, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

November 3, 2015

frus69, you talk about having sex after 3 or 4 dates with some....and about people who do the fade after 1-2 months. So getting dates and meeting men doesn't seem to be the problem. And I think these guys are giving ample time to get to know you.

You mentioned that you've got nobody close enough to ask for an opinion on this. What's going on with regular friendships? Perhaps there's a clue in this area?

4 dates with some..that "some" was actually just 2-3 guys. And they were the ones that faded. 2-3 guys in 3 years is hardly enough to day "I have no problem getting dates"?

If I ask my friend for opinions they all just say "dear you are great it's the guys ". Not helping.

November 3, 2015

If the problem in grocery stores is that you don't get approach, try approaching someone. Women don't spontaneously combust when they strike up a convo with a guy.

November 3, 2015

My gut instincts in reading this.....

Either you really aren't a 7 but more like a 5 or 6 or you may be a 7 in looks only if the guys like this characteristic with you...otherwise it turns them off. It could be something that turns them off.....or you are a 7 but there is so ething in your personality that turns guys off...either you are clingy, cone off as the jealous type, you fit the blonde jokes, or something else. You could be coming off as a know it all or arrogant.

If you are successful with work...another possibility...thus is really common...on a first date you come off wrong with guys where the guys come off if the date as I'd love to hire gherkin and work with her but I have no interest in dating her.

Where are you looking for guys? What sites? What age ranges?

November 3, 2015

OP, i don't know if we have enough information from what you said. From what you DID say, I think you can't depend just on OLD and not make real attempts in real life. If the only real opportunities you mentioned are at the grocery store, you need to create more real life opportunities. Socialize, do some group activities without just the intention to meet guys but to have fun. Get a routine in place that has you out and about in the areas of interest you have. And expand your circle of friends. Get passionate about the life you have now. The enthusiasm transfers! Be more targeted with where you are looking. OLD prob casts a wide net where you are meeting a lot of duds or people who don't respond to you. If you look at how a large percentage of people meet and fall in love it is through things like this: friends, social activities, hobbies, work. Try to maximize everything you've got in terms of meeting people opportunities, looking good all the time, not just when you are on a date or going out to a party or bar. Be more flirty, free, fun-loving. Good luck.

Before posting this thread I was thinking why OLD hasn't worked for me. Those guys are still guys, day-to-day guys, just like those you meet at grocery stores, except they approached me and had the chance to meet me and get to know me. But I failed to get a relationship out of it...That's why I said if I do have the looks and the personality, what else can possibly be stopping them??

Edited November 3, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

Sign In

If I'm really attractive and nice, how come no one wants to commit to me??

Recommended Posts

frus69

CosmicGate7

KatZee

CosmicGate7

KatZee

CosmicGate7

KatZee

ManyDissapoint

CosmicGate7

frus69

CosmicGate7

frus69

frus69

phineas

CosmicGate7

frus69

ManyDissapoint

frus69

CosmicGate7

basil67

Versacehottie

frus69

JustGettingBy

Ami1uwant

frus69

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...