If I'm really attractive and nice, how come no one wants to commit to me??

November 3, 2015

I'm sure this question has been asked many times but I failed to find an answer..

I suppose I can say I'm nice and pretty (if looks matters when it comes to relationships) no any baggage whatsoever (got my life together pretty well)and I can't think of anything else that would stop a guy from wanting something serious with me??

In real life I don't really have guys approaching me. I don't meet lots of people either except for grocery stores and I don't get approached there..

In OLD no bloody guys wants to have a relationship with me. Yeah they just want sex. I can't help but thinking I am the problem here, except I don't know what went wrong.

I really am just sick of being single and frustrated why no guy wants anything serious with me.....Am I actually just not hot enough for guys to commit?...

November 3, 2015

It's hard to find someone you can connect with--especially emotionally, physically and intellectually. Keep at it and don't be discouraged. A lot of people are in the same situation as you, so don't feel like you're the only one.

November 3, 2015

But my problem is no guy would even stay long enough to get to know me? To get to know if we are connect emotionally and intellectually?

I understand it maybe hard to keep a relationship going as that requires strong connection but I don't think it should be hard to start seeing/dating some.

But for me it's as if they saw me and decided "yep I want her as a FWB" and never changed their mind. (I don't dress provocatively, btw)

Edited November 3, 2015 by frus69

November 3, 2015

Are you having sex with these guys? And if so how quickly?

November 3, 2015

You're Probably not as Attractive as you think.

Very beautiful woman who are 8 or 9s or 10s don't usually have issues finding a guy who adores....

The only ones who don't get asked out and only get used for sex, generally have lacklustre personalities OR they aim too high ( 9 /10 men arent ideal for 9 women. ..a 7 or 8/10 will cherrish you more than a guy with so many pretty model look alikes to choose from.

I am a 6/10 or 6.5. I've proudly got pics up. I KNOW my number and have had no troubles in finding average to cute men who adores me. I just didnt fancy any of them back.....until my current boyfriend

The problem with women who look like me is, they ofteb think they are pretty and hot. When they are plain at best. They have way too high standards.

If you're realistic and have ruled out any off putting vibes you may be exuding then it's time to ask some HONEST acquaintances what the "problem " is........

November 3, 2015

But my problem is no guy would even stay long enough to get to know me? To get to know if we are connect emotionally and intellectually?
I understand it maybe hard to keep a relationship going as that requires strong connection but I don't think it should be hard to start seeing/dating some.

But for me it's as if they saw me and decided "yep I want her as a FWB" and never changed their mind. (I don't dress provocatively, btw)

Most people prefer a spark.

If they arent excited about you after a first date, it's hard to force yourself to date someone who you're not enamoured with.

Then again, many guys are also not requiring an instant connection; these guys are the ones who are ready to settle dow. They don't remain single for long....

November 3, 2015

You're Probably not as Attractive as you think.

Very beautiful woman who are 8 or 9s or 10s don't usually have issues finding a guy who adores....

The only ones who don't get asked out and only get used for sex, generally have lacklustre personalities OR they aim too high ( 9 /10 men arent ideal for 9 women. ..a 7 or 8/10 will cherrish you more than a guy with so many pretty model look alikes to choose from.

I am a 6/10 or 6.5. I've proudly got pics up. I KNOW my number and have had no troubles in finding average to cute men who adores me. I just didnt fancy any of them back.....until my current boyfriend

The problem with women who look like me is, they ofteb think they are pretty and hot. When they are plain at best. They have way too high standards.

If you're realistic and have ruled out any off putting vibes you may be exuding then it's time to ask some HONEST acquaintances what the "problem " is........

Goddamn, why don't you just tell her that she's hideous? Holy hell people on this forum can be harsh

Here's the honest truth from the male side of it. Your problem is one of the following things

1)you're far too picky for how good your overall package is. If you're not absolutely stunning, don't aim for men who are

2)you're attractive but you lack the personality traits (class, grace, intelligence, a feminine/sweet demeanor) to be girlfriend material

3)you pick the wrong men - guys who are low character and/or not looking for anything serious.

It's one of those 3 guaranteed

November 3, 2015

Are you having sex with these guys? And if so how quickly?

Some guys after 3 or 4 dates (and usually they just faded after 1 month or 2) and others I don't have sex with them at all because I sensed that's all they want.

November 3, 2015

Are you always available when the guys want to hang out? Do you have hobbies/ a good group of friends that like to do things besides go out and get drunk bc doing that is not attractive to quality guys

November 3, 2015

You're Probably not as Attractive as you think.

Very beautiful woman who are 8 or 9s or 10s don't usually have issues finding a guy who adores....

The only ones who don't get asked out and only get used for sex, generally have lacklustre personalities OR they aim too high ( 9 /10 men arent ideal for 9 women. ..a 7 or 8/10 will cherrish you more than a guy with so many pretty model look alikes to choose from.

I am a 6/10 or 6.5. I've proudly got pics up. I KNOW my number and have had no troubles in finding average to cute men who adores me. I just didnt fancy any of them back.....until my current boyfriend

The problem with women who look like me is, they ofteb think they are pretty and hot. When they are plain at best. They have way too high standards.

If you're realistic and have ruled out any off putting vibes you may be exuding then it's time to ask some HONEST acquaintances what the "problem " is........

Duh I didn't say I'm 9 or 10.. If I have to rate myself I would probably say 7 or something, so similar to you. And I don't dream myself of being with a 9 or 10. All the guys I liked are around 7 too(at least I think) , as you said,"cute" men.

And if you can have a bf, theoretically I should be able to as well?

I do want to "ask some HONEST acquaintances" except I don't know any?

November 3, 2015

I have the same problem lady!

And those who have seen me on this forum know I'm far from ugly.

I think my issue is #3. Keep picking the wrong dudes.

Last guy I dated was "below" me in terms of looks, but I was really into him. He didn't want me either.

But yeah, I'm attractive, kind, have my s.hit together, good job, my own place, car, blah blah blah. Guys don't care about any of that really.

I stopped dating in June. I was doing a lot of the online dating and really, it's rare that a guy on there is looking for something serious and is only into dating one and one only. The whole dynamic of online dating is terrible.

For whatever reason, I'm never the girl that guys want to commit to. But all the lunatics around me? Locked down in seconds!

November 3, 2015

I have the same problem lady!

And those who have seen me on this forum know I'm far from ugly.

I think my issue is #3. Keep picking the wrong dudes.

But yeah, I'm attractive, kind, have my s.hit together, good job, my own place, car, blah blah blah. Guys don't care about any of that really.

I stopped dating in June. I was doing a lot of the online dating and really, it's rare that a guy on there is looking for something serious and is only into dating one and one only. The whole dynamic of online dating is terrible.

For whatever reason, I'm never the girl that guys want to commit to. But all the lunatics around me? Locked down in seconds!

Why do you keep picking the wrong dudes? It's really not hard to see which men would be good boyfriends and which would not. I can see it from a mile away when I hang out with my friends

Look for a man of high character who wants something serious. it's not hard to spot

November 3, 2015

You're Probably not as Attractive as you think.

Very beautiful woman who are 8 or 9s or 10s don't usually have issues finding a guy who adores....

The only ones who don't get asked out and only get used for sex, generally have lacklustre personalities OR they aim too high ( 9 /10 men arent ideal for 9 women. ..a 7 or 8/10 will cherrish you more than a guy with so many pretty model look alikes to choose from.

I am a 6/10 or 6.5. I've proudly got pics up. I KNOW my number and have had no troubles in finding average to cute men who adores me. I just didnt fancy any of them back.....until my current boyfriend

The problem with women who look like me is, they ofteb think they are pretty and hot. When they are plain at best. They have way too high standards.

If you're realistic and have ruled out any off putting vibes you may be exuding then it's time to ask some HONEST acquaintances what the "problem " is........

Goddamn, why don't you just tell her that she's hideous? Holy hell people on this forum can be harsh

Agreed.

Leigh has never met or seen the OP, but it's automatically let's jump the gun time.

According to Leigh's logic, it's impossible to be a 8, 9, 10 and have issues finding a guy that adores. Since OP is having issues, therefore, she is not a 8+.

Essentially--Anyone that can't find someone that adores them isn't a 8+, so they need to get over themselves and lower their standards.

Damn.

November 3, 2015

Why do you keep picking the wrong dudes? It's really not hard to see which men would be good boyfriends and which would not. I can see it from a mile away when I hang out with my friends

Look for a man of high character who wants something serious. it's not hard to spot

Actually they are hard to spot.

I keep picking the wrong dudes, because the wrong dudes are superb at hiding exactly what they are.

They say the right things, do the right things, do it all perfectly up until they get what they want and then poof, smoke screen is gone. And then you see what you're left with.

Every time I date a guy I pick up more and more tricks they're pulling on women. I have an arsenal of like 50+ things to watch out for now, it's really sad.

November 3, 2015

1)you're far too picky for how good your overall package is. If you're not absolutely stunning, don't aim for men who are
2)you're attractive but you lack the personality traits (class, grace, intelligence, a feminine/sweet demeanor) to be girlfriend material
3)you pick the wrong men - guys who are low character and/or not looking for anything serious.

It's one of those 3 guaranteed

1. I really am cautious when it comes to my standards so I always pick the ones that are within the same league as myself, AKA above average. I mean I really am not attracted to a 4( cant force myself to?) but won't be dreaming about an 8 either..

2. I don't think I lack anything in the personality department, nothing repulsive, for sure.

As for number 3, yeah they don't want anything serious--probably just not with me, right? I mean they had gf before so it must be me?

November 3, 2015

Actually they are hard to spot.

I keep picking the wrong dudes, because the wrong dudes are superb at hiding exactly what they are.

They say the right things, do the right things, do it all perfectly up until they get what they want and then poof, smoke screen is gone. And then you see what you're left with.

Every time I date a guy I pick up more and more tricks they're pulling on women. I have an arsenal of like 50+ things to watch out for now, it's really sad.

If you want me to be honest, the consistent trend in my social circle is that the very charming alpha male types are horrible boyfriend material. The guys who are not quite as outspoken tend to be much more interested in something serious/exclusive

I'm sure you're only interested in the very charming alpha types and those are difficult to tame.

November 3, 2015

If you want me to be honest, the consistent trend in my social circle is that the very charming alpha male types are horrible boyfriend material. The guys who are not quite as outspoken tend to be much more interested in something serious/exclusive

That's a given. Anyone who's an outspoken charmer is a player. That's not even questionable.

Last guy I dated wasn't an outspoken alpha.

It's basically a crap shoot. I have to put myself out there and just have fingers crossed that they're not out to hurt me. It's rough b/c it's really hard to determine who's being sincere, and who's playing around. It really ruins the trust in the opposite sex. That's why I've stopped dating. I just don't trust guys at this point, and it's not fair to any of the good ones.

November 3, 2015

I have the same problem lady!

And those who have seen me on this forum know I'm far from ugly.

I think my issue is #3. Keep picking the wrong dudes.

Last guy I dated was "below" me in terms of looks, but I was really into him. He didn't want me either.

But yeah, I'm attractive, kind, have my s.hit together, good job, my own place, car, blah blah blah. Guys don't care about any of that really.

I stopped dating in June. I was doing a lot of the online dating and really, it's rare that a guy on there is looking for something serious and is only into dating one and one only. The whole dynamic of online dating is terrible.

For whatever reason, I'm never the girl that guys want to commit to. But all the lunatics around me? Locked down in seconds!

I actually think it is easy to tell who are the wrong guys. I can tell within 3 dates. And turned out they all are. So my problem is Where is the right ones??

November 3, 2015

I'm sure you're only interested in the very charming alpha types and those are difficult to tame.

Not even mildly accurate. I have no interest in "very charming alpha males who are difficult to tame." I have no time, or patience for that absurdity.

The second I find out a guy doesn't want to be "tamed," POOF. I'm gone. Like a fart in the wind.

November 3, 2015

the consistent trend in my social circle is that the very charming alpha male types are horrible boyfriend material. .

At this stage I almost don't even care if the relationship will last or not I just want someone I like, to want to start a relationship with me.

Whether we can make it work or not, I'm happy to deal with that later on

November 3, 2015

I think we need to know more information about how your mini relationships played out in order to help understand why these men wouldn't commit.

November 3, 2015

Not even mildly accurate. I have no interest in "very charming alpha males who are difficult to tame." I have no time, or patience for that absurdity.

The second I find out a guy doesn't want to be "tamed," POOF. I'm gone. Like a fart in the wind.

this forum fascinates me. So many decent looking women here who find difficult to be very difficult. I never even thought this was possible before I came here.

I get the sense that most of you are not being entirely truthful. You are likely seeking jerks and players or you're trying for men who are way out of your league. I know lots of awesome guys who would be GREAT boyfriends. It's not difficult to find, at all.

If you ladies were to be truly honest, you would probably admit that you bypass the great guys for the jerkoffs that are beloved by many women. There is no other explanation for it in my mind.

November 3, 2015

I also offer myself up to be your boyfriend. My favorite things are commitment, and changing myself.

November 3, 2015

I think we need to know more information about how your mini relationships played out in order to help understand why these men wouldn't commit.

Hmm I had 3 mini relationships in last 2.5 years.

First lasted for a year but took him 6 months to decide that he would like a relationship with me. Ended with him saying he lost feelings/wanted to experience more things.

Second lasted 3 months? He went back to his ex. 6 months later he came back but I couldn't trust him anymore.

Third lasted like 2 months. He just faded. I guess, he wasn't that ready because he was just out of a relationship?

And other guys from OLD just said they wanted sex before even met me.

November 3, 2015

this forum fascinates me. So many decent looking women here who find difficult to be very difficult. I never even thought this was possible before I came here.

I get the sense that most of you are not being entirely truthful. You are likely seeking jerks and players or you're trying for men who are way out of your league. I know lots of awesome guys who would be GREAT boyfriends. It's not difficult to find, at all.

If you ladies were to be truly honest, you would probably admit that you bypass the great guys for the jerkoffs that are beloved by many women. There is no other explanation for it in my mind.

Sometimes two people can look great on paper (decent looking, steady job, great family/friends, no social/mental issues, etc) but when they actually meet, the chemistry just isn't there. It's nobody's fault. Sometimes it just doesn't work out as a mathematical formula.

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If I'm really attractive and nice, how come no one wants to commit to me??

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