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This relationship is over ... because I'm too WHAT???!!!

MissUnderstood

By MissUnderstood
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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scarlyjones Established Member

scarlyjones

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screw'em' ....................forget that short-stack......theres plenty of fish in the sea. Tall fish......

FolderWife Established Member

FolderWife

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I once turned down a date to the prom because "He was kinda short"

 

Yes! I said it :( But it was a guy I'd never met...asking me to prom...and I couldn't think of anything to say :(

 

If I'd had time to prepare...I'd have said something...ANYTHING...besides, "You're kinda short"

 

But that was high school :mad: This guy's old enough to have a heart attack :mad:

scarlyjones Established Member

scarlyjones

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High school is High school, though.....................hes an adult now. I can dismiss it in High School. Not when hes an adult old enough to know better..............

tanbark813 Established Member

tanbark813

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Posted
Originally posted by Monday

I once turned down a date to the prom because "He was kinda short"

 

Bunch o' g*ddamn hypocrites, every one o' ya. :D

FolderWife Established Member

FolderWife

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OMG! :confused: that ---> :D smiley looks JUST LIKE TANBARK!!!

scarlyjones Established Member

scarlyjones

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Some people never grow up when it comes to confrontation. I have a friend of mine who works at a salon. She has 3 stylists she works for. Each of them pays her their own salary and seperately,..so, really,.....she has three bosses. Well she went to Vegas on a weeks vacation last week. One of her bosses that she NEVER gets along with,.......called her during her vacation and fired her. Said she couldnt afford to keep on an assistant. But instead of being a proffesional ADULT about it. She calls her up on her vacation and leaves a voicemail. Not trying to HYJACK the thread,....just saying that theres alot of adults who need to grow up. Plus,.... hes short

bstill Member

bstill

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I'm 5'9" and I've date girls who are taller than me; whether or not they worked out in the end had nothing to do with height, but I know that with one of these girls, who was an inch taller than me and very attractive, I started getting insecure. Not because of anything she said, but because of what other people said. Mostly, what guys who wanted to sleep with her said, and a few of her insensitive girlfriends. Just my take on it...

 

Anyway. A year is a long time to bring this up. You've broke two engagements before. Have you talked about this? Why is being with this man different? If he hasn't talked it over enough to satisfy (and maybe never can), he might be getting jumpy about being your #3 broken engagement.

tanbark813 Established Member

tanbark813

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Monday

OMG! :confused: that ---> :D smiley looks JUST LIKE TANBARK!!!

 

Yes, I get that a lot. :D

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MissUnderstood Member

MissUnderstood

Posted
  • Author
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Originally posted by bstill

Anyway. A year is a long time to bring this up. You've broke two engagements before. Have you talked about this? Why is being with this man different? If he hasn't talked it over enough to satisfy (and maybe never can), he might be getting jumpy about being your #3 broken engagement.

 

B, that's a valid point. But marriage is something that neither of us is really interested in, and that's something we clarified a long time ago. So I don't think his sudden objection to my height is something he's pulling out of thin air 'cause he's afraid I'll leave him at the altar (or somewhere) unless he breaks things off now.

 

He claims that he doesn't feel the sort of passion for me that he "should," and that's because I'm not his typical physical type. It's not that I'm hideous or huge or repellent, but just bigger than he is. And he needs to be able to put his arms around me in that Cro-Mag way and reassure me (and himself, I suppose) that He is the Protector.

 

You know, I was really hoping the rest of the world had gotten as far beyond hackneyed gender roles as I'd like to think I have. Or at the very least, I was hoping that the man I loved would know better.

bstill Member

bstill

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"He claims that he doesn't feel the sort of passion for me that he "should," and that's because I'm not his typical physical type. It's not that I'm hideous or huge or repellent, but just bigger than he is. And he needs to be able to put his arms around me in that Cro-Mag way and reassure me (and himself, I suppose) that He is the Protector. "

 

He is too old to think about things in such a way. He will always want to be the Protector, in a sense, but the physical manifestation of that role has been dead for a long time. I'm not sure what you want. Is the relationship over? Is it over in the sense you will have no chance at all to fix a few things? Do you yourself feel like he is "not enough man" to make you feel feminine?

 

This isn't your problem, it is his, but there are a few things you could do and say to make him feel better about it. Tell him how safe you feel in his arms and all that; make him feel like he's slaughtered enough mastodons to provide for his loved ones.

 

IF it is too late for that, it is up to you. He might think it over and decide he's an idiot for thinking like he is. But you can't help that. When a previous convention is rendered irrelevant, like the man should be taller than his female partner, it is difficult for two who are in the relationship, because they've got deal with all the external forces at work. He might not be able to handle outside suggestions that he is not able to give you what you want because he is shorter than you.

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MissUnderstood Member

MissUnderstood

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He is too old to think about things in such a way. He will always want to be the Protector, in a sense, but the physical manifestation of that role has been dead for a long time. I'm not sure what you want. Is the relationship over? Is it over in the sense you will have no chance at all to fix a few things? Do you yourself feel like he is "not enough man" to make you feel feminine?

 

B, this is one of the hardest things for me to figure out. BF says he does not want our relationship to end, but he does insist that he can't be the kind of "lover" (his word, not mine) that he thinks I want him to be. Certainly, I don't want him to simply go through the motions. That would be frustrating and unfulfilling for both of us, ultimately. But what other shape is this relationship to take? Best friends? Pen pals? He scoffed when I said as much, claiming that we'd always be "much more than friends." But what, exactly? I can't return to the friends stage. I don't want empty sex. I know that's not what he wants. He's made it clear to me that he is not physically supercharged by me, that it is something he can no longer deny. The plumbing works, yes, but there needs to be more. And it simply isn't there.

 

As for his being "not enough man" to make me feel feminine, nothing could be further from the truth. I have consistently felt lovely and loved in the company of this man, whether we are out in public or alone together. Of course, his admission that he lacks passion for me makes me wonder whether I wasn't just imagining the whole thing.

Merin Established Member

Merin

Posted
Posted

Well look at it this way, you may very well be to tall for his liking...

BUT He's an idiot and NOOOOOBBBOOODDDYYY Likes or Wants that! ;)

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