salparadise Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Plus it's not like she'd need to freeload, she's a doctor... A doctor, eh? Maybe she's more germ aware than the average barfly and intends to run a few tests before she swaps bacteria with you. Has she offered to swab your cheek? Does she carry sanitary wipes and use a handkerchief when touching doorknobs? Offer to share a dessert next time and see if she cringes or goes for it enthusiastically. I hope you're not counting on being in the pink anytime soon. This may require a long-term commitment just to get to first base. Personally, I prefer women who are wired like orgasmatrons since I'm not patient enough to lay siege and wait it out. 2
Httm Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 This requires you to be direct and honest. Simply ask.
Author dangerbang Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 This requires you to be direct and honest. Simply ask. Well, we chatted a bit yesterday on whatsapp and I sent the last message. I heard nothing from her today. I'm not going to get in touch again, so I think if I hear nothing from her, that says it all really. You know I'm tired of dating anyway, could do with a break!
notinept Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 It amazes me how many people confuse 'not interested' with 'I need to be romanced a little before I'm gonna suck your face' ! It's all about 'escalation' with a lot of women ! You hang out, you laugh, you have fun, you increasingly 'invade' each other's personal space, you hold hands ... she starts to get that warm/comfortable attracted-to-you feeling ... THEN when the moment is right, you look her in the eyes she looks back at you in the same way, she gives you the "I want you to kiss me" look - and you give her exactly that ! Some women need all of that, and if you don't, won't or can't ? Well then you get nothing or you get a kiss back like you'd get from your Grandma ! 6
hippychick3 Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Just curious...why do you use an app to chat rather than just texting?
Versacehottie Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 I was going to suggest possible reasons for her (non) actions: a) you, yourself, are the awkward one about kissing. If a guy is awkward about kiss (or the in-public thing) she may just feel too weird about it at that moment and childishly not go for it or mention anything, ie both of you are really awkward. It happens. b) If she is 35 and a doctor, she is damn smart and has spent most of her life in school. She could be a nerd and not that socialized in dating. Think about what her life has been like. She probably has been super studious her entire life and the dedication it has taken to get where she is. I think it's possible she has maybe dated very very little in her life. It's a stereotype but it could be true.
Author dangerbang Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 Just curious...why do you use an app to chat rather than just texting? How is this relevant at all?!?! 1
Author dangerbang Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 I was going to suggest possible reasons for her (non) actions: a) you, yourself, are the awkward one about kissing. If a guy is awkward about kiss (or the in-public thing) she may just feel too weird about it at that moment and childishly not go for it or mention anything, ie both of you are really awkward. It happens. b) If she is 35 and a doctor, she is damn smart and has spent most of her life in school. She could be a nerd and not that socialized in dating. Think about what her life has been like. She probably has been super studious her entire life and the dedication it has taken to get where she is. I think it's possible she has maybe dated very very little in her life. It's a stereotype but it could be true. Hmm, maybe, but she also took lots of time out and thought English in Asia for a couple of years and had done plenty of travelling like myself in South America etc. For me these things opened up lots of social opportunities and was a lot of fun so I'd imagine it was the same for her!
LoveRefreshed Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 WhatsApp uses data and European plans don't have unlimited text but if you have wifi basicall you can text without using any plan data or txt msgs. Maybe some women need romance but 5 dates is enough to move on if you're not being romanced in you style. Also it was a kiss nor a suck your face off make out session. Meh. OP your making the right decision to pull back. I'd date around now
hippychick3 Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 How is this relevant at all?!?! Thanks for rudely not answering my question. It's relevant because in my mind, an app is used by teenagers, cheaters, or those who can't afford unlimited texting (which would be strange for a doctor). 1
hippychick3 Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 WhatsApp uses data and European plans don't have unlimited text but if you have wifi basicall you can text without using any plan data or txt msgs. Maybe some women need romance but 5 dates is enough to move on if you're not being romanced in you style. Also it was a kiss nor a suck your face off make out session. Meh. OP your making the right decision to pull back. I'd date around now Thanks for answering. I didn't realize the OP was European.
Author dangerbang Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 Thanks for rudely not answering my question. It's relevant because in my mind, an app is used by teenagers, cheaters, or those who can't afford unlimited texting (which would be strange for a doctor). My parents in their 60s use it.
Jejangles Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Maybe some women need romance but 5 dates is enough to move on if you're not being romanced in you style. Also it was a kiss nor a suck your face off make out session. Meh. OP your making the right decision to pull back. I'd date around now I agree, 5 is probably enough, but I think the OP said 3 dates. OP, I think it all depends on how into this woman you are and whether you want to pursue her for one more date or not. 1
Author dangerbang Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 I agree, 5 is probably enough, but I think the OP said 3 dates. OP, I think it all depends on how into this woman you are and whether you want to pursue her for one more date or not. As much as I want to message her and ask her out, I'm not going to. She'll have to show a bit of interest herself if we are to go out again so I'll leave the ball in her court. My hopes aren't high but I'll keep y'all posted.
Author dangerbang Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 I agree, 5 is probably enough, but I think the OP said 3 dates. OP, I think it all depends on how into this woman you are and whether you want to pursue her for one more date or not. As much as I want to message her and ask her out, I'm not going to. She'll have to show a bit of interest herself if we are to go out again so I'll leave the ball in her court. My hopes aren't high but I'll keep y'all posted.
Versacehottie Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Hmm, maybe, but she also took lots of time out and thought English in Asia for a couple of years and had done plenty of travelling like myself in South America etc. For me these things opened up lots of social opportunities and was a lot of fun so I'd imagine it was the same for her! She could have done it purely from an adventure/volunteer-y type place mentally and still not have had much experience with guys. I don't really know too many people like that but a few. One of my girlfriends is gorgeous, pretty social and has always hung with a popular and very social group so you would assume she was doing the same as everyone else in the group but NO she was not at all. She was pretty awkward around guys (she's with someone now FINALLY!). She was socially comfortable and savvy enough that if you were at a party with her (as a guy) you would think 'why isn't she kissing me?" but other than surface-y social things, trips and lots of fun activities, she was very shy in intimate/emotional relationships. She also was super serious smart but looks like surf-y beach chick with perfect body so sometimes things are not at all what they seem! 1
Httm Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 As much as I want to message her and ask her out, I'm not going to. She'll have to show a bit of interest herself if we are to go out again so I'll leave the ball in her court. My hopes aren't high but I'll keep y'all posted. You are taking the cowardly course. Ask her point blank, over text if need be, why she won't kiss you and if she is interested. Stop playing childish games and be a grown up. 3
Author dangerbang Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 You are taking the cowardly course. Ask her point blank, over text if need be, why she won't kiss you and if she is interested. Stop playing childish games and be a grown up. I'm not playing games, but I'm not going to do all the work either. It's a girl I've been out with 3 times, whether I see her or not again isn't the end of the world anyway!
Versacehottie Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 I'm not playing games, but I'm not going to do all the work either. It's a girl I've been out with 3 times, whether I see her or not again isn't the end of the world anyway! ok, well it sounds like you are over it. So don't let it torture you. I think it's smart to give a normal person who you enjoy your time with the benefit of the doubt on some things and try not to let your ego get bruised.
Author dangerbang Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 ok, well it sounds like you are over it. So don't let it torture you. I think it's smart to give a normal person who you enjoy your time with the benefit of the doubt on some things and try not to let your ego get bruised. I don't really know what you mean!
Miss Peach Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 I didn't realize OP was European too. It's my understanding that in some European cultures (like France) that kissing is basically saying you are getting serious/exclusive. OP - Does your culture imply anything with kissing?
Author dangerbang Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 I didn't realize OP was European too. It's my understanding that in some European cultures (like France) that kissing is basically saying you are getting serious/exclusive. OP - Does your culture imply anything with kissing? I'm from Ireland. Modern courtship here, if both parties are into it, usually involves getting hammered followed by heavy petting/sex, from my experience anyway. This continues for a while until one is comfortable enough to go on the terrifying first sober date or daytime activity. You've also got your understanding of France wrong, it's not the 1950s.
hippychick3 Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 I sense an underlying hostility and defensiveness in some of the OP's posts. I wonder if she senses this as well during the dates and thus feels conflicted.
SwordofFlame Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 I sense an underlying hostility and defensiveness in some of the OP's posts. I wonder if she senses this as well during the dates and thus feels conflicted. I get the sense that OP's date hasn't given him any physical affection at all apart from an awkward 2nd date kiss. No touching. Not anything. 1
Author dangerbang Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 I sense an underlying hostility and defensiveness in some of the OP's posts. I wonder if she senses this as well during the dates and thus feels conflicted. If you think you can judge my character from a few forum posts, I get the sense you're reading too much into this thread and you should stay out of the discussion, please
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