dangerbang Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Hi all Just looking for opinions here. On Saturday night I had my 3rd date in 2 weeks with a girl I met online. All of the dates have been fun, we seem to get on, and I think she's very attractive. After the first 2, there was kind of an awkward kiss on the lips goodbye, not really reciprocated by her, and then on Saturday night when we were saying goodbye I went to kiss her and she just kind of threw her cheek in the way! It's kind of funny I guess, I'm not used to this at all though. So on my way home on Saturday night, I was thinking right, I'm done with her, there's no way she can like me. The next evening she was texting asking how I was etc. so I mean maybe she does like me? I haven't asked her out again, I might leave the ball in her court now. She comes across a bit shy, maybe that's all it is. I would think though, at 35, she'd be a bit clearer in her attentions. Or at least try kissing me? Plus we've drank a decent amount each time we've been out, so I thought that might loosen her up a bit. I'm not used to this, my last long term GF almost forced me to have sex with her on our second date whether I liked it or not, and a girl I was seeing recently we went home together after date two and she was all over me on the first date! It turned out I didn't really like her that much though. This one however is gorgeous and I find her really attractive. What should I do? Should I just let her go and not message her again?
d0nnivain Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 She isn't attracted to you. At 35 if she wanted to kiss you she must have been able to read your signals, which is why she turned her head. You can try discussing this with her but gosh that sounds like an awful & awkward conversation or you can move on. 1
BLND Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 You'd let her go because she didn't kiss you? That's a bit silly. Especially if you have a great connection. Make your intentions clearly known during the next date, the surroundings also help. Why don't you go to a cost bar, with a sexy vibe...?
Author dangerbang Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 She isn't attracted to you. At 35 if she wanted to kiss you she must have been able to read your signals, which is why she turned her head. You can try discussing this with her but gosh that sounds like an awful & awkward conversation or you can move on. Yeah, I guess that's my fear. However I don't know why she's in touch with me afterwards then, sending me pictures and telling me about her day. I'm not going to discuss it with her, but yeah maybe there's no point getting in touch with her again. Oh well.
SwordofFlame Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Hi all Just looking for opinions here. On Saturday night I had my 3rd date in 2 weeks with a girl I met online. All of the dates have been fun, we seem to get on, and I think she's very attractive. After the first 2, there was kind of an awkward kiss on the lips goodbye, not really reciprocated by her, and then on Saturday night when we were saying goodbye I went to kiss her and she just kind of threw her cheek in the way! It's kind of funny I guess, I'm not used to this at all though. So on my way home on Saturday night, I was thinking right, I'm done with her, there's no way she can like me. The next evening she was texting asking how I was etc. so I mean maybe she does like me? I haven't asked her out again, I might leave the ball in her court now. She comes across a bit shy, maybe that's all it is. I would think though, at 35, she'd be a bit clearer in her attentions. Or at least try kissing me? Plus we've drank a decent amount each time we've been out, so I thought that might loosen her up a bit. I'm not used to this, my last long term GF almost forced me to have sex with her on our second date whether I liked it or not, and a girl I was seeing recently we went home together after date two and she was all over me on the first date! It turned out I didn't really like her that much though. This one however is gorgeous and I find her really attractive. What should I do? Should I just let her go and not message her again? I went on 5 dates with a girl who never reciprocated any physical affection and I foolishly chalked it up to her being shy. In reality, she just wasn't attracted to me.
Author dangerbang Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 Make your intentions clearly known during the next date, the surroundings also help. Why don't you go to a cost bar, with a sexy vibe...? Well, I have tried to kiss her, 3 times now. Not full on launching myself at her but normally I thought the other party would have tried too in that situation. Yeah well Saturday night we were at a really intimate little wine bar. Not really sure what else I could do.
Author dangerbang Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 I went on 5 dates with a girl who never reciprocated any physical affection and I foolishly chalked it up to her being shy. In reality, she just wasn't attracted to me. Why did she go on 5 dates with you I wonder? 1
SwordofFlame Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Why did she go on 5 dates with you I wonder? If I knew the answer, I wouldn't have gone on that many.
Odinani Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Were there lots of people around each time you tried to kiss her. Lots of people dislike kissing in front of others. It's embarrassing. I hate it. 2
Jejangles Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Where are you trying to kiss her? I'm in my mid thirties and often find the first few kisses awkward, especially if we're in a busy and public place. I'd rather a guy kiss me at some point during the date somewhere private than out front my building, with my security guard watching, or standing at the entrance to a subway or something. A few months ago a guy went to kiss me out front of my building on a busy street and another man walking by yelled "yeah, get in there!". It was... awkward. Anyway, to put forward an alternate view, she's acting at least somewhat interested and maybe she's just a little more slow moving. I would give her one more shot, try to get her in a more private location and see what happens. Three dates is really nothing in the grand scheme of things! 4
BLND Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 I am pretty sure she is interested, just maybe she's taking it slow. I don't suggest you should give up. A girl wouldn't keep going out with you and texting you and sending pix if she isn't. Maybe you should invite her for dinner at your place?!
d0nnivain Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 As a woman, I'm reading a 35 year old who has rebuffed the OP's attempts at a kiss -- even a goodnight kiss -- 3 times as woman who simply wants free dinners. 4
Author dangerbang Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 Yeah I've no problem if she's taking it slow, it's just entirely new to me. In 20 years of hooking up with girls, none that ever went anywhere didn't kiss me on our first time meeting or date. I didn't try in particularly private places no, just like near the taxi rank or on the street, but it's late at night in the city where there's tonnes of nightlife, it's not an unusual sight to see a couple of people kissing for a bit. I haven't heard from her since yesterday evening, I'm not sure whether to message her again or not, I don't want to come across as needy or an idiot. If she really liked me, she'd get in touch again right?
Author dangerbang Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 As a woman, I'm reading a 35 year old who has rebuffed the OP's attempts at a kiss -- even a goodnight kiss -- 3 times as woman who simply wants free dinners. We just went to bars the first 2 times, dinner was split on the 3rd date.
SwordofFlame Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Yeah I've no problem if she's taking it slow, it's just entirely new to me. In 20 years of hooking up with girls, none that ever went anywhere didn't kiss me on our first time meeting or date. I didn't try in particularly private places no, just like near the taxi rank or on the street, but it's late at night in the city where there's tonnes of nightlife, it's not an unusual sight to see a couple of people kissing for a bit. I haven't heard from her since yesterday evening, I'm not sure whether to message her again or not, I don't want to come across as needy or an idiot. If she really liked me, she'd get in touch again right? OP, have you paid for all of the dates? Nevermind you just answered above.
Author dangerbang Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 OP, have you paid for all of the dates? Nevermind you just answered above. Plus it's not like she'd need to freeload, she's a doctor, earns a fair bit more than me I'd say. Actually I did pay for dinner last Saturday, but then she bought 2 expensive bottles of wine for us in the wine bar afterwards.
d0nnivain Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 We just went to bars the first 2 times, dinner was split on the 3rd date. OK she's not a gold digger. I really don't have an answer for you then. You're back to the awkward conversation or giving up. 1
Author dangerbang Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 OK she's not a gold digger. I really don't have an answer for you then. You're back to the awkward conversation or giving up. Another thing, after our first date, when I was saying goodbye and kind of kissed her on the lips, she blurted out kind of nervously "so do you want to see me again?". Which I thought meant she maybe liked me. Maybe I should go out ONE more time, and if there's no kiss, I'll just have to say something about it or jack the whole thing in.
d0nnivain Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Talk to her. If she really is a doctor she's probably had many way more embarrassing / awkward conversations with people about all sorts of stuff. She may have had her bead buried in a book studying to be a doctor for so long that she never refined her social skills. 1
jen1447 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Sorry to be blunt but do you have any breath or oral hygiene issues? (OP) 1
Author dangerbang Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 Sorry to be blunt but do you have any breath or oral hygiene issues? (OP) lol, no. I'm 100% sure of that.
seekingluck Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Where are you trying to kiss her? I'm in my mid thirties and often find the first few kisses awkward, especially if we're in a busy and public place. I'd rather a guy kiss me at some point during the date somewhere private than out front my building, with my security guard watching, or standing at the entrance to a subway or something. A few months ago a guy went to kiss me out front of my building on a busy street and another man walking by yelled "yeah, get in there!". It was... awkward. Anyway, to put forward an alternate view, she's acting at least somewhat interested and maybe she's just a little more slow moving. I would give her one more shot, try to get her in a more private location and see what happens. Three dates is really nothing in the grand scheme of things! I agree with you! I really am no fan of kissing in public. I dated a guy who kept trying to kiss me, and I would stop pretty fast. Because it was too visible for me. He kept trying even trying at some point to block me with his hat. LOL. Eventually we found somewhere private and was happy to make out with him. The in public part was not comfortable for me. We actually got into quite a lot of arguments about this. For him, me not wanting to kiss him I'm public felt like I was rejecting him (in his eyes) and he didn't understand my need for privacy for non G-rated affection. 1
LoveRefreshed Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Why did she go on 5 dates with you I wonder? According to another thread I would have to say it was absolutely not for the free meals. Lawls. In reality bro, she could be unsure or not attracted or slow with it. If it were me I'd probably pull back some and start seeing other girls. Don't cut her completely but don't focus on someone acting lukewarn. From my experience, when a woman is sheepish about kissing.. she's not into you... every girl that has been into me has basically made it obvious they want me to kiss them and then once it happens, I have to get a crowbar to get our genitals apart. 1
Author dangerbang Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 According to another thread I would have to say it was absolutely not for the free meals. Lawls. In reality bro, she could be unsure or not attracted or slow with it. If it were me I'd probably pull back some and start seeing other girls. Don't cut her completely but don't focus on someone acting lukewarn. From my experience, when a woman is sheepish about kissing.. she's not into you... every girl that has been into me has basically made it obvious they want me to kiss them and then once it happens, I have to get a crowbar to get our genitals apart. Same here man, and I've never seen a girl more than once without something happening. F*ck it, gonna leave the ball in her court now, if she does like me she can make the effort at this stage. It's just a shame as I really like her.
blueskyday Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Don't give up on her just yet. She may be slow on the physical. I know I am! But I tell my dates that I'm slow to kiss because it's very intimate to me, and it's a short walk to the bedroom after that for me --if it's good . I think she should let you know she finds you attractive. Why don't you go out again and simply ask her if she's slow moving on the physicality. Ask her if she's attracted to you. Does she feel a spark? She may be analytical and more in her head than her body.
Recommended Posts