Chr15 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 I've been seeing this guy for a little while now. First month we had 5 dates, talked pretty consistently (not every day, but at least every 2/3 days). Dates were fun and we got on great (at least to me). Felt it was going well. I went away then for 3 weeks. While I was away we still kept in contact, although not as regularly as before, and I was the one to initiate all the conversations. I didn't mind that as I was the one who was away. Now that I'm back though (back a week) I feel like things have changed. He hasnt initiated any conversations and we don't text as much/often. He will always reply to me when I initiate. I'm the kind of person who if I want to text someone I will and if I want to see them I will ask them. Anyway, I decided to ask if he was free some day this week. He replied an hour later (despite us being in the middle of a conversation) saying 'yeah sure! Not sure what days I'll be around her but should be!' Maybe I'm reading into this too much but it just didn't seem like he was that enthusiastic to meet up. I'm thinking I'll meet up with him again and see how things are in person. If I feel then that things have changed I'll stop seeing him. But does it sound like he's still interested? He initiated in the beginning, although I probably did slightly more, but he suggested whenever we met up. I'm waiting now for him to get in touch and let me know when he's free and to arrange a date.
SwordofFlame Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 It's possible he met someone else when you were gone for three weeks.
hippychick3 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Sorry, he does not sound at all interested. The best way to gauge a man's interest is to allow him to initiate contact in the beginning stages. Lack of initiation is his way of communicating disinterest.
xcupid Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Doesn't sound like he's too interested. His reply is casual at best and he's no longer initiating. Be ready to move on.
Author Chr15 Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 Aw man... I was starting to fall for this one. I should say that he spends one or two nights out of town, and not always the same nights, hence why he wasn't sure when he'd be free yet. Why is he still texting me though? Just to keep me as an option? He was the one who was more interested before I left and who chased me.
lilmissjava Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Don't initiate the conversations anymore. If he was interested, he would be moving the earth to let you know. Three weeks is quite a bit of time and he could have easily met someone else during your absence. Don't settle as an option. You should be someone's priority.
BLND Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 He might have been more interested before you left. But 3 weeks is a long time to be away for, when you first start dating someone. That spark he felt in the beginning, probably was no longer there when you left. It's also plenty of time for him to meet and go out with someone else. Your best bet is to definitely go out on one more date with him, and depending on his attitude and his interest in you during the outing, you'll figure out if there's still something between the two of you. 1
smackie9 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 You were away for 3 weeks....you could have shacked up with someone yourself, he doesn't know if you did or not, right? So he distanced himself and probably had a few dates in the meantime. Basically you will be starting over to regain his interest. If he sets up a date this week, then you are good to go, but if he doesn't write it off as a loss. IMO if a guy doesn't put in an effort to flirt/message/keep in constant contact, he ain't that into you.
oberkeat Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Speaking as a guy, I don't think you have to give up on him just yet. He might just need a little help. Text him again and propose a date for a specific date and time, adding that if that doesn't work for him, to let you know if there's another night that works, with a smiley face. If he doesn't respond, or doesn't propose another night, then you can move on.
Author Chr15 Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 You were away for 3 weeks....you could have shacked up with someone yourself, he doesn't know if you did or not, right? IMO if a guy doesn't put in an effort to flirt/message/keep in constant contact, he ain't that into you. He knows I definitely didn't. I was away with my mum visiting family, in a place where there would be no chance to hook up. He knows I was spending all day, every day surrounded by family. But I agree that if he's not putting in the effort he's usually not interested. I guess I was just hoping he still was because he replies to my messages and we will have a conversation then. Thanks for all your replies. I guess I will see if he gets in touch this week to organise a date and if not I know where I stand
Zippy2000 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 I wish people would just stick to fact and stop saying things like he met someone else. The fact of the matter is we dont know. Its maybe because after while things cool down. You never know what lies ahead in the future and like everything else. Relationships take time. Lots of it. Give it time to see if he misses you and if he does he`d no doubt contact you.
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