JT2790 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 hi all, i want to explain the story between myself and my ex how we broke up, whats transpired in this time and where we are now. Ok this all started around the middle of September my ex goes to a university an hour away from our home town but i still stay in our home town but she ives where her school is. Me and my ex (then girlfriend) broke up due to petty fights and issues over trust. Within 3 days of our break up she meets someone else and he took her on dates and made her feel special again and withing 5 days of meeting each other they were dating. Needless to say it broke my heart and was very difficult but since then strange things have been said and done by her and has confused me and thrown me for a loop. two weeks after she and the new guy started to date she came to town to visit we had been on NC for this time but when she got here she called me and asked what i was doing i told he nothing and we ended up meeting up. I ended up staying the night we made out and ended up having sex. The next day she left for school again and what happened that night has not been spoken of even to this day. She claimed she told her boyfriend about it but i highly doubt that. But since then she will bounce between telling me how much she likes him and what he does in comparison to what i did and didnt through our relationship. But then she would tell me something she does not like and then tell me something she likes about me that she prefers over him. This has been going on since they started dating. I hear from her every single day she will either call me or text me. one week she sent me pictures of us back when we dated. And she will call me "baby" or some other pet name over text or the phone and then say it was an accident. Also just two days ago she called me and we talked for a bit and before she hung up she said "i love you". She calls me her best friend and says she wants to keep me in her life forever but also says how hard it will be on her if i found another girl of my own. She expressed how hurt and jealous she would be if that happened but i don't understand because she has a boyfriend?! Her boyfriend is set to graduate this year though and when he does hes relocating to another state far from where we live so that may have something to do with how she is acting. Im just lost i did make the mistake in telling her how much i did want her back and i still do but she claims to be happy with him but also says she feels she can be happier with me? but shes scared of going back to us because of how it was through the relationship, but she felt this situation opened our eyes and matured us where we needed to be when we where together but unfortunately she met someone else in the interim. I just get the hot cold treatment i never text or call her first but do reply or answer if she does. Some days she will tell me things she likes or misses about me and how she wants to show me certain things or do things for me like cook when she sees me again. But other times shes cold and says i need to accept our break up. But every since "that night" we have never spoken of or acknowledged ive heard from her every single day she takes concern in how im doing my health who im with ect. But she is still with this guy. I was thinking if hes so great and i wasnt why keep around your ex? Ive asked her that too but she says i am her bestfriend but he isnt? And that she wants me around. I dont understand im trying to figure out her motives or desires but she is unclear with that. Has anyone gone through something similar? If so how did it turn out, or know any advice how to deal with her and this situation?! I really do love her still and would love to be with her again and she loves me she says, and says if things happened differently she would be with me as well? Any advice or help would be appreciated in what to do. Thanks!
Shock148 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 She is having her cake and eating it too. She is still with her current boyfriend while still telling you all of this because you are her safety net. Honestly, break it off. Why do you want to give her the emotional support she needs while the other guy gives her emotional support along with sexual needs as well? It is either you or him that is what I would tell her and if you are not sure what you want right now that is fine, but I cannot live in limbo on a lover's triangle. I would NC her until she decides what she wants. However considering she is away from you, she can easily tell you I want you and it is over between me and the other guy but they are still having sex and doing all of these things and you will never know. I would just end this with her honestly.
mightycpa Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 hi all, i want to explain the story between myself and my ex how we broke up, whats transpired in this time and where we are now. Ok this all started around the middle of September my ex goes to a university an hour away from our home town but i still stay in our home town but she ives where her school is. Me and my ex (then girlfriend) broke up due to petty fights and issues over trust. Within 3 days of our break up she meets someone else and he took her on dates and made her feel special again and withing 5 days of meeting each other they were dating. Needless to say it broke my heart and was very difficult but since then strange things have been said and done by her and has confused me and thrown me for a loop. two weeks after she and the new guy started to date she came to town to visit we had been on NC for this time but when she got here she called me and asked what i was doing i told he nothing and we ended up meeting up. I ended up staying the night we made out and ended up having sex. The next day she left for school again and what happened that night has not been spoken of even to this day. She claimed she told her boyfriend about it but i highly doubt that. But since then she will bounce between telling me how much she likes him and what he does in comparison to what i did and didnt through our relationship. But then she would tell me something she does not like and then tell me something she likes about me that she prefers over him. This has been going on since they started dating. I hear from her every single day she will either call me or text me. one week she sent me pictures of us back when we dated. And she will call me "baby" or some other pet name over text or the phone and then say it was an accident. Also just two days ago she called me and we talked for a bit and before she hung up she said "i love you". She calls me her best friend and says she wants to keep me in her life forever but also says how hard it will be on her if i found another girl of my own. She expressed how hurt and jealous she would be if that happened but i don't understand because she has a boyfriend?! Her boyfriend is set to graduate this year though and when he does hes relocating to another state far from where we live so that may have something to do with how she is acting. Im just lost i did make the mistake in telling her how much i did want her back and i still do but she claims to be happy with him but also says she feels she can be happier with me? but shes scared of going back to us because of how it was through the relationship, but she felt this situation opened our eyes and matured us where we needed to be when we where together but unfortunately she met someone else in the interim. I just get the hot cold treatment i never text or call her first but do reply or answer if she does. Some days she will tell me things she likes or misses about me and how she wants to show me certain things or do things for me like cook when she sees me again. But other times shes cold and says i need to accept our break up. But every since "that night" we have never spoken of or acknowledged ive heard from her every single day she takes concern in how im doing my health who im with ect. But she is still with this guy. I was thinking if hes so great and i wasnt why keep around your ex? Ive asked her that too but she says i am her bestfriend but he isnt? And that she wants me around. I dont understand im trying to figure out her motives or desires but she is unclear with that. Has anyone gone through something similar? If so how did it turn out, or know any advice how to deal with her and this situation?! I really do love her still and would love to be with her again and she loves me she says, and says if things happened differently she would be with me as well? Any advice or help would be appreciated in what to do. Thanks! Here's what you tell her: Matilda, I've been thinking about you and me. We really have something special between us, but I made a lot of mistakes too, and didn't act right a lot of times. I've been trying to think about how to fix that, because if I don't, we might get together again, and then the next thing you know, we'll break up all over again, and I don't want that. If we get together again, I want to do it for keeps. Anyway, I was thinking about the conversations we had when you were with your new boyfriend, especially when you were comparing me and him, and the things you liked and the things you didn't like about each of us. I didn't realize it at the time, but you were learning about what you like best in a person. I don't think you can do that with one person, probably not even two. I think that to really understand yourself, you've got to date a bunch of people, and become exposed to what other people are really like. Plus, I'll bet you get a lot of good feedback about what kind of a person other people think that you are. I think you've showed me what we need to do, at least, what I need to do. I'm going to start dating a bunch of girls so that I can become prepared for you. I'm going to make all my mistakes with them, so that when I eventually come back to you, I'll be ready. I just wanted you to know what I'm doing when you hear that I'm dating new girls. I'm doing it for you.Ok, that's a little tongue-in-cheek, but you know what? It's true too. That's what you need to do. 1
Seeker12 Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Here's what you tell her: Ok, that's a little tongue-in-cheek, but you know what? It's true too. That's what you need to do. MightyCPA, that was the best reply i have ever read.
Recommended Posts