She has been calling me, i am affraid to respond.

[Trauma_Luna]

I ended a 6 years relationship 2 months ago in a very hard way. She just left saying she lost interest in a moment i felt the most in love with her.

 

I tried to speak with her the next days after the breakup trying to fix things up but she rejected me in a very cruel way. I decided i had to let her go and start rebuilding my life. I totally accepted the fact that the relationship is over and that i needed to start a new life without her. I was doing very well, i was really enjoying my new single life.

 

3 weeks ago i had an accident in a motorcycle and a friend of us told her about it, she called me a lot but i never responded, i denied every single of her calls. She then sent a text saying "Respond please, i just want to know how are you, i knew you had an accident". She called again and i denied the call. Then she sent a final text saying "I am going to call you in 5 minutes, if you don't respond i will never call you again". She called and i didn't respond. The next days she sent another text saying "If that's the way you want it, that'll be. Take care and be happy".

 

I felt bad at the moment but at the same time i was happy she was not going to call me again, i really love her but every single time i tried to reach her i ended up really hurt. Time passed and i was doing well with my life, i even tried to date another girl and was working on me, i was really decided to forget her. 4 days ago she called me again, needless to say i didn't respond. I was starting to believe that she was regretting of everything she did to me and that she was really wanting to fix things. I thought of call her back but then a friend of mine told me that she went on a long roadtrip with a guy of her work.

 

Then i did something i hadn't done since the break up, i checked on her facebook profile, and well, she was at the beach with two guys of her work, one of them was hugging her really close, she seemed to be having a great time, but i checked older posts and almost everything was about me, Our month "anniversary" was every 25th. We used to celebrate every single month we had been together. The last october 25th she wrote "Another 25 without you ". Sad love songs, things like "Why did you leave me?". "You left and you took every single promise of my love i had with you", She even posted a picture of a lot of ice cream buckets saying, "When i have nothing else to do than accepting it". I mean SHE was the one that left me, why she does that?. I was really in love with her, i would have never left her.

 

Now i feel that i have not progressed in this, i am really feeling the need to call her but i am very afraid she rejects me again as she did in the beginning. Should i ?

Edited November 4, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
paragraphs~T

[Shock148]

Okay so she ended it, cruelly rejected your please to talk and reconcile and only after you got an accident did she feel the need to try her best to reach out to you. I understand she reached out to you after the accident because she still cares about you as a person and you have completely NC her. First I would like to say, bravo good job on doing so for 2 months. The second thing I would like to tell you is to not read too much into all those sad posts on facebook. That does not mean that she wants to be in a relationship with you again, but maybe she just misses you as a friend in her life. Has she told any of your mutual friends her feelings for you? Has any friends came up to you or did she ever leave a voicemail or message stating that she will like to work things out? No she did not which is why I am telling you to not read too much into those posts. Next, you want to be with her again so anything less than her wanting to reconcile with you will be hurtful. With those posts, I suppose it is a gamble to risk hurt and see if there is any feelings of her wanting to be back with you to go for it. However, approach it cautiously. Say it right off the bat that you are fine with your accident, you did not respond for obvious reasons as you were hurt that the relationship ended and you wanted to be with her, but also make it clear without fighting or getting into an argument that besides that you will continue to NC her if she did not feel like trying to work things out and getting back together with you. I would as a precaution possibly ask one of our mutual friends her feelings towards me in terms of is she opened to the idea of being with me again or what is her current situation. Is she dating her co worker? Is she dating anyone at all? At least then if the mutual friend responds no, then go for it. If she responds yes, then obviously do not call her and just pass along that you are doing well.

[Redhead14]

I ended a 6 years relationship 2 months ago in a very hard way. She just left saying she lost interest in a moment i felt the most in love with her. I tried to speak with her the next days after the breakup trying to fix things up but she rejected me in a very cruel way. I decided i had to let her go and start rebuilding my life. I totally accepted the fact that the relationship is over and that i needed to start a new life without her. I was doing very well, i was really enjoying my new single life. 3 weeks ago i had an accident in a motorcycle and a friend of us told her about it, she called me a lot but i never responded, i denied every single of her calls. She then sent a text saying "Respond please, i just want to know how are you, i knew you had an accident". She called again and i denied the call. Then she sent a final text saying "I am going to call you in 5 minutes, if you don't respond i will never call you again". She called and i didn't respond. The next days she sent another text saying "If that's the way you want it, that'll be. Take care and be happy". I felt bad at the moment but at the same time i was happy she was not going to call me again, i really love her but every single time i tried to reach her i ended up really hurt. Time passed and i was doing well with my life, i even tried to date another girl and was working on me, i was really decided to forget her. 4 days ago she called me again, needless to say i didn't respond. I was starting to believe that she was regretting of everything she did to me and that she was really wanting to fix things. I thought of call her back but then a friend of mine told me that she went on a long roadtrip with a guy of her work. Then i did something i hadn't done since the break up, i checked on her facebook profile, and well, she was at the beach with two guys of her work, one of them was hugging her really close, she seemed to be having a great time, but i checked older posts and almost everything was about me, Our month "anniversary" was every 25th. We used to celebrate every single month we had been together. The last october 25th she wrote "Another 25 without you ". Sad love songs, things like "Why did you leave me?". "You left and you took every single promise of my love i had with you", She even posted a picture of a lot of ice cream buckets saying, "When i have nothing else to do than accepting it". I mean SHE was the one that left me, why she does that?. I was really in love with her, i would have never left her.

 

Now i feel that i have not progressed in this, i am really feeling the need to call her but i am very afraid she rejects me again as she did in the beginning. Should i ?

 

Maintain no contact. It serves no purpose to "re-open" wounds. She keeps reaching out because she's probably mourning the loss of the relationship like you even if she's the one who broke it off. She's just not as "tough" about moving on as you are. It doesn't mean she's changed her mind, she's just going through withdrawals.

[Wewon]

I get the impression that for her, "looking" like a good person is more important than actually being a good person. Why? She ended it cruelly and only calls after rumors of an accident, her face book page is set up so that others can infer that she was the victim.

 

Combine that with the fact that you still seem very vulnerable to her, I would maintain NC until you reached a level of objectivity; simply because getting your hopes up and recrushed will only set you back.

[Shock148]

Maintain no contact. It serves no purpose to "re-open" wounds. She keeps reaching out because she's probably mourning the loss of the relationship like you even if she's the one who broke it off. She's just not as "tough" about moving on as you are. It doesn't mean she's changed her mind, she's just going through withdrawals.

 

I kind of agree with this as well. Like I stated in my post, she never left a voicemail or a text stating she wanted to reconcile nor did any mutual friends tell you anything of the sorts. Those facebook posts don't really mean anything other than she misses you, but not missing you as in she wants to be in a relationship with you again. She just misses you being in her life as a friend and she feels sad about that.

[Trauma_Luna]

I know she hasn't called or anything expressing her desire to get back with me, but she never does that kind of things, it's important to say that in these 6 years we broke up once, she was the one doing it too. I did no contact for about two months and she never called (as she does now) then i went to visit her without calling, When she saw me she went and hugged me and after a long chat we were able to fix things and we got back. I think she might be waiting for that again.

[Wewon]

I know she hasn't called or anything expressing her desire to get back with me, but she never does that kind of things, it's important to say that in these 6 years we broke up once, she was the one doing it too. I did no contact for about two months and she never called (as she does now) then i went to visit her without calling, When she saw me she went and hugged me and after a long chat we were able to fix things and we got back. I think she might be waiting for that again.

 

Not to sounds like a negative person here but one of the key indicators that you're in a lopsided relationship is the old, "Its just his/her way." to explain a person's lack of reciprocation. If both people behaved the same way the relationship would inevitably collapse from neglect.

 

Sure she will fix things, if they're happening on her terms.

 

Again, this is just my impression based on a few paragraphs on the internet.

Are you okay with her behaving this way?

[dumbass2]

I know she hasn't called or anything expressing her desire to get back with me, but she never does that kind of things, it's important to say that in these 6 years we broke up once, she was the one doing it too. I did no contact for about two months and she never called (as she does now) then i went to visit her without calling, When she saw me she went and hugged me and after a long chat we were able to fix things and we got back. I think she might be waiting for that again.

 

Because you took her back once already. She knows you may do it again and might need you now if she is not with any one. Do you really want to try a 3rd time? You said you were able to fix things once you got back together. Obviously not. i suggest you do not give it a 3rd go around.

[mightycpa]

If both people behaved the same way the relationship would inevitably collapse from neglect.

Which is exactly what's going on here. You're showing her what it's like to be with her.

 

Look, anybody who breaks up with you, then posts about sadness as if they are the victim of a breakup is merely posing for the public, looking for sympathy and attention.

 

Oh, Matilda is so devoted, she's such a special girl. Somebody will see what a catch she is one day.

 

But you know the truth. You know she cut you off at the knees, and that she was unsympathetic and indifferent to your pain. Not only could she not be bothered with your heartache, she actually doubled down on the rejection and became cruel.

 

Your doubts about her calling now are natural. Your desperate heart has to wonder if you ****ed up somehow by not putting up with her bull**** and fighting her for her affections. That's because the heart is honest (you want her) but it lies to you too (she's great). Go with your head here. In matters of rejection, your heart is not your friend.

 

The best way for you to respond is to either to not respond, or if it continues, to send a six-word long text telling her to **** off and stop bothering you.

[Trauma_Luna]

Because you took her back once already. She knows you may do it again and might need you now if she is not with any one. Do you really want to try a 3rd time? You said you were able to fix things once you got back together. Obviously not. i suggest you do not give it a 3rd go around.

 

I am pretty sure i would try it a 3rd time... but neither my family or friends would accept that, how do i deal with that?

[Shock148]

I am pretty sure i would try it a 3rd time... but neither my family or friends would accept that, how do i deal with that?

 

If she makes you happy then do it. Who cares if your family or friends do not accept it. It's really up to you but do not be surprised if it fails again that your friends and family wont give you the "I told you so" treatment. In either case its not like family or friends will stop talking to you just because you are going to give it another try.

[mightycpa]

I am pretty sure i would try it a 3rd time... but neither my family or friends would accept that, how do i deal with that?

You might ask yourself why, or better yet, ask them why, and write down their reasons, and then go consider what they have to say. See if there is any truth or wisdom in there for you.

 

I'm sure they don't object because they're mean, or they hold a grudge against this girl. Hear them out.

[dumbass2]

I am pretty sure i would try it a 3rd time... but neither my family or friends would accept that, how do i deal with that?

 

You broke up once with her and your family and friends were probably there for you when that happened. They know what you went through. They were there when you two got back together. They've been there for rounds 1 and 2. They've read this book before and know it has the same ending no matter how many times they go back and read it. They probably see that you two just aren't a good match for the long term. Like mightycpa said, ask them. Take what they say into consideration and see if you can honestly look at it in a logical way and not just with your heart. Thinking just with your heart will lead to making a poor decision.

[EgoJoe]

Social media isn't to be trusted. Think of the young girl who harassed her depressed boyfriend to commit suicide so she could play the grieving lover. That's how most Women use Facebook etc.

[Trauma_Luna]

woow thats a little bit extreme.

[Trauma_Luna]

We had 6 years together and broke up two months ago. After getting a new job and being able to know new people, she said she lost interest in me.

 

I begged the firsts days but then i understood i was only hurting myself and making everything worst so i did the no contact and convinced myself i should move on. I was doing very well, i kept myself busy and getting involved in every new project i could. I was feeling that maybe the break up was the best for me, but a little part of me was holding hope to get back in the near future.

 

As i told in a previous post, I had an accident and she started to call me a lot and sending text but i did not feel the need to respond so i didn't.

 

A week ago she threw some signals in being interested in me again in her facebook account. I immediately took the bait and went to her house.

 

I asked her if she was truly feeling the way she posted on facebook, other way that was a cruel move of her, considering i still feel for her, i also asked her if she still loves me, She did not respond a thing, she remained in silence and asked me to please leave because she was not feeling ok to talk. So i left. I arrived at my house and was browsing on facebook when i saw her last post. "There's no need to ask it, i know i love you. There's no need for an answer, i know you love me". I mean, just after i asked her if she loves me, she posts that, for me that sounds like a "yes".

 

BUT the day after that she posted a message that some guy from her work sent her. The message says things like "I am really proud of you baby, you are a great person and i am very happy of knowing you". And after that message she posted a song that says "I don't love you anymore, i got over you"

 

I sent her a text last night wishing her good night and sweet dreams but she didn't respond. What is she doing? Is she really confused or just playing with me? Can someone get over a 6 years boyfriend in 2 months?.

Edited November 14, 2015 by Trauma_Luna

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

She's playing games. Show her you're not willing to participate and erase her from your life.

[Mrlovahlovah]

Playing games. Honestly, i know a lot of people are over sharing their lives on social media these days and it may come off as condescending but....it's a huge turn off for me when someone posts those kind of things for the whole world to see. When they are obviously meant for you. Or the message she got from said co worker. Ego boosting herself. It's a fake and weak behaviour. Cut it off asap if you're asking me. Find yourself a more matured partner.

[dumbass2]

Another one here that sees it as playing games. She doesn't know what the hell she wants. Go silent on her immediately and then you can see if she comes forward with anything more substantial. Right now it is total game playing so it takes two to play, so it's up to you right now. If you decide to play and get burned, you will have no one to blame but yourself. Not her or anyone. Go silent.

[Trauma_Luna]

She blocked me in Facebook... as if she doesnt want me to read her posts anymore.. since i realized that i am feeling the need to beg, i just can't get over her, why can she do it? Should i try to speak with her for a LAST time?

[sly_fly1]

I ended a 6 years relationship 2 months ago in a very hard way. She just left saying she lost interest in a moment i felt the most in love with her.

 

I tried to speak with her the next days after the breakup trying to fix things up but she rejected me in a very cruel way. I decided i had to let her go and start rebuilding my life. I totally accepted the fact that the relationship is over and that i needed to start a new life without her. I was doing very well, i was really enjoying my new single life.

 

3 weeks ago i had an accident in a motorcycle and a friend of us told her about it, she called me a lot but i never responded, i denied every single of her calls. She then sent a text saying "Respond please, i just want to know how are you, i knew you had an accident". She called again and i denied the call. Then she sent a final text saying "I am going to call you in 5 minutes, if you don't respond i will never call you again". She called and i didn't respond. The next days she sent another text saying "If that's the way you want it, that'll be. Take care and be happy".

 

I felt bad at the moment but at the same time i was happy she was not going to call me again, i really love her but every single time i tried to reach her i ended up really hurt. Time passed and i was doing well with my life, i even tried to date another girl and was working on me, i was really decided to forget her. 4 days ago she called me again, needless to say i didn't respond. I was starting to believe that she was regretting of everything she did to me and that she was really wanting to fix things. I thought of call her back but then a friend of mine told me that she went on a long roadtrip with a guy of her work.

 

Then i did something i hadn't done since the break up, i checked on her facebook profile, and well, she was at the beach with two guys of her work, one of them was hugging her really close, she seemed to be having a great time, but i checked older posts and almost everything was about me, Our month "anniversary" was every 25th. We used to celebrate every single month we had been together. The last october 25th she wrote "Another 25 without you ". Sad love songs, things like "Why did you leave me?". "You left and you took every single promise of my love i had with you", She even posted a picture of a lot of ice cream buckets saying, "When i have nothing else to do than accepting it". I mean SHE was the one that left me, why she does that?. I was really in love with her, i would have never left her.

 

Now i feel that i have not progressed in this, i am really feeling the need to call her but i am very afraid she rejects me again as she did in the beginning. Should i ?

 

Bread crumbs, that's why she's calls you.the reason why she's with those guys. Well hard to hear but one of them is the rebound or the guy she left you for. Stay away from her n Change your number l delete media n delete your self. When your dumped. Apart of you is destroyed, so rebuild your self. When she realizes what she lost she will be back. Every time some one leaves some one they love out of bordum or because there's someone new . It always back fires. always. Ask any of us older guys. Enjoy your time apart, sit back crack a bear, n she'll be jumping around like a flea .once she's done she'll being crying on your door step, n you'll probably take her back even though you know she's not worth your time

[WomenWubber]

You're her violin and she proficient at playing it.

[mightycpa]

She has been calling me, i am affraid to respond.

Then don't. You only respond if and when you don't care what the message is.

[Trauma_Luna]

She hasn't called in weeks, that's why i'm feeling desperated.

[Chi townD]

She blocked me in Facebook... as if she doesnt want me to read her posts anymore.. since i realized that i am feeling the need to beg, i just can't get over her, why can she do it? Should i try to speak with her for a LAST time?

 

 

NO!!!!!!! Frinkin HELL NO!!!!

 

 

You went over there and she shot you down again! And THEN you see a post from some douche rocket saying "I'm proud of you BABY!" No guy posts baby on someone's facebook page unless an intimate relationship exists! You told her that you saw stuff on her Facebook page and then OUT OF THE BLUE! This guy posts that (and I'm speculating that no one ever posted something like that before) right after you had your conversation with her?!?! Dollars to donuts, she called this asshat right after you left and told him everything that happened. Therefore, this guy KNEW you would be watching and sent that post to rub your nose in the fact that they have an intimate relationship. And now, she's blocked you on facebook. Just one last "screw you" before she blocked you. One last twist of the knife.

 

 

Screw her and screw that guy!

 

 

It's time to get your revenge! And the best revenge you can get is to lead a damn good an adventurous life. Start making positive changes! Go out into the world! Meet knew people and get new hobbies! Join a running club or cycling Club. Take dive lessons or flying lesson. TRAVEL! Go see the world! Think of a place that you've always wanted to see. Make a plan and save for it. That gives you something to focus on and something to look forward to. And once you have everything saved and planned, GO!!!

 

 

Go to Rome, or to London, or Sydney. Go to the Bahamas or Jamaica! Go to the Netherlands or Thailand! There's a big world out there! Go see it! And there are a lot beautiful girls out there to meet! Some would probably love to be your personal tour guide!

 

 

Dude, your life isn't over, it's just begun!