Csmith224422 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Hi Guys, So I've been dating this girl for only a few weeks or so. I felt that things were getting serious over the last week. We've both commented that we have so much in common and that we feel really comfortable around each other and that we really like each other. We've kissed and done a few things, but have not yet been intimate and she told me its because she wants to take it slow since she was in an off and on relationship and got out of it only 2 weeks before she met me. Anyway, I saw her a few days ago and told her that I really liked her and she told me that she felt the same way. However, yesterday evening, she sent me a text saying that she really enjoyed meeting me but doesn't want to waste my time as she doesn't see this going anywhere. I told her that I respected her decision, but was a little surprised based on how things were going. She said that it wasn't me and that it's because she's still messed up from the last relationship and things she will still be messed up for some time and wants to be alone but still wanted to be friends. She said she felt really comfortable with me and that she could open up to me, but didn't want to waste my time. I respect her honesty and decision, but it really bothers me and I wonder what I should do? We were getting a long so well. We had plans for Wednesday night and also this weekend. What should I do?
d0nnivain Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Because her decision isn't about you (although it hurts you), there is nothing you can do. She either decided she's not ready to date anybody or she went back to him. You can't fix either of those things. 1
Zippy2000 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Leave her alone and don't pursue her. I've heard this before. I'm all messed up. Its not you but me. Let's be friends. I'd leave her well alone for now. If she's interested she'll come back but with some women they think its alright to be friends. I've heard some women say this and you all probably not hear from her again unless its anything but friends.
TheBathWater Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Leave her alone and don't pursue her. I've heard this before. I'm all messed up. Its not you but me. Let's be friends. I'd leave her well alone for now. If she's interested she'll come back but with some women they think its alright to be friends. I've heard some women say this and you all probably not hear from her again unless its anything but friends. This. I'm really sorry to hear this happened to you, because it sounds like things seemed to be going well and you were hopeful. Bummer, man.
Author Csmith224422 Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 It is really strange - last time we saw each other we were talking about how much fun we have together and how its so strange that we like each other so much and so quickly and then all of a sudden I get this bomb. I really liked her. Is there anything I can do on my end?
Redhead14 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 It is really strange - last time we saw each other we were talking about how much fun we have together and how its so strange that we like each other so much and so quickly and then all of a sudden I get this bomb. I really liked her. Is there anything I can do on my end? She may really like spending time with you but she is not ready to enter into anything serious with anyone. She needs time to get over the break up and she is right to "slow" things down. You should respect her wishes and not pursue her for a relationship. It became clear to her apparently that you wanted more than a casual dating scenario and she doesn't want that right now.
kendahke Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 It is really strange - last time we saw each other we were talking about how much fun we have together and how its so strange that we like each other so much and so quickly and then all of a sudden I get this bomb. I really liked her. It's been 2 weeks since she broke up with her ex? She's not in the head space to let anything new happen--nor do you want someone so conflicted, no matter how much fun you two had. She's still sorting out the demise of that relationship. The best you can be right now is rebound guy until her feelings for her ex are done and resolved. You provided a great distraction, but right now at the 2-weeks-post mark, the last thing she needs is to be distracted. She's got some emotional work she needs to go through and not around. Being with you isn't her going through it: it's her avoiding what she needs to sit with and process. Is there anything I can do on my end? Date other girls.
Author Csmith224422 Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 You should respect her wishes and not pursue her for a relationship. It became clear to her apparently that you wanted more than a casual dating scenario and she doesn't want that right now. I could do the casual dating too . . . hahah. I don't think she wants that either though. . .
Redhead14 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 I could do the casual dating too . . . hahah. I don't think she wants that either though. . . I don't think she wants that either though. . . are you saying that you think she doesn't want you to date others? So what? You do what you need to do for yourself and she's doing what she needs to do for herself.
salparadise Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 You provided a great distraction, but right now at the 2-weeks-post mark, the last thing she needs is to be distracted. She's got some emotional work she needs to go through and not around. Being with you isn't her going through it: it's her avoiding what she needs to sit with and process. Could be, but my money is on a reconciliation with the ex. The thing I'm sure of... it's not about consideration of your time.
Author Csmith224422 Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 No - I meant that I could just casually date her too. But I don't think she wants that either. She was over my place and things were leading to being intimate and she said that she wanted to wait with me that she had just got out of relationship and needed some time. She explained how her last relationship was on and off for a year because the other guy was cheating on her with his ex-gf. She said it wasnt me but that she's "effed up and will likley be effed up for sometime" I assume she's referring to her not being over what happened with her ex. I really enjoyed my time with her and I'm just so surprised that she ended it.
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