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Friends/family won't unfriend my ex.


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Posted (edited)

I dated a woman for 2 ½ years. On the outside things were fine a lot of the time, but there were problems behind closed doors with abuse, jealousy and drinking. I finally got the courage to leave about a month ago.

 

Very early on, my ex friended a lot of my friends, coworkers and family. Well, after I left her, she kept contacting me despite at least half a dozen requests to leave me alone. I ended up having to block her on Facebook, e-mail and phone. So she goes to my friends, coworkers and family to get to me. Some found it awkward. And some feel bad for her. I told many of these people that I can't make anyone do anything, but I would appreciate if they could please unfriend her, and some did, but some won't. A couple of family members even said they did but still, I know they didn't. I have also gotten a couple of nasty FB messages from friends of my ex, who were FB friends of mine by acquaintance, accusing me of being "afraid of commitment".

 

I feel very uncomfortable sharing anything on Facebook now, knowing that there are 20 or so friends and family members who still have her as friends, and at least a few who probably still communicate with her. I don't trust people anymore. I know she's been slamming me to some people and I'm worried she's making me out to be the bad person to family members of mine.

 

I've deactivated my Facebook account, although a couple of people have said that's "drastic" and "childish". It feels like no matter what I do, I have people attacking me. Even after I've told them about times where I've had to call the police on her, how she'd drink at LEAST a bottle of wine every single night and how that's caused us problems such as her choking me one time, forcing me to stay in her house when I wanted to leave, and screaming thst I was hitting her when I attempted to move her from the door, or other issues, they still act like I'm overreacting and crazy. One coworker who stays in touch with her leaves her Facebook open at work, and whie I won't do it because I know it's wrong, I almost want to go on her computer and unfriend my ex from her account. It really bothers me. I don't know what to do anymore?

Edited by Seymore
Posted

I think that there was no need to deactivate Facebook account. You need to activate it quickly and don't let them feel that you are deactivated because you are upset.

Posted

Facebook is garbage. Stay away and leave the high drama out of your life.

Posted

Deactivating it for a little while isn't a bad idea. If you really feel strongly you can block the friends who remain friends with her too.

 

One for the future.... when a GF starts befriending all your friends on FB... it's a sign they want to fully insert themselves in your life and not give you breathing space.

 

She's a nasty woman... steer clear and don't look back.

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Posted
Deactivating it for a little while isn't a bad idea. If you really feel strongly you can block the friends who remain friends with her too.

 

One for the future.... when a GF starts befriending all your friends on FB... it's a sign they want to fully insert themselves in your life and not give you breathing space.

 

She's a nasty woman... steer clear and don't look back.

 

 

I reactivated and let my friends and family (whom weren't already friends with her before we met) know that them staying friends with her is giving her false hope and a connection to me, and it's causing trouble. Many of those people agreed to unfriend her, only a couple of family members refused. I've also limited posts to people who aren't friends with my ex, so they don't go blabbing to her.

Posted

Block her and move on unless you have grounds for a restraining order. Then might as well file it. If people ask about her tell them your side and request that they unfriend her. But I wouldn't bring it up and add more drama. This will pass like most other things.

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