Yummm Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Hey guys! So I'm in need of some advice as to what's going on, whether or not it's normal etc. I met a girl about a month back. We went on a date and she is lovely but scared me off of any romantic interest in her. Too many issues and red flags etc. Anyway, I made my intentions clear, at first she was a little upset but we continued to speak and got pretty close as friends. After speaking to her for a while she finally opens up, starts saying how she will never find anyone as good as me, she only goes for guys that give her attention because she has no self esteem, worries how anyone will find her attractive etc. I've grown to care for her (like a sister), and give her my time, offer my advice which she likes alot. Here's the strange part: She always wants to hang out, and when she does, she literally likes to lay on my bed, cuddle and sleep on me whilst watching TV. At first I thought this was very weird, but I've also strangely grown to being comfortable with this over the weeks. I'm sure she has underlying feelings for me, but she convinces herself that she values our friendship more than anything else and wants to stay like this. I find it weird because I have someone I care about WITHOUT romantic feelings, cuddling up to me and it's strangely comfortable. I'm aware this is strange, I guess my question is; should I nip this in the bud? Could this eventually cause problems? Is this common in any way? Currently life is going well, i'm very emerged in work and fitness, dates have taken a big step back in my life as I was excessively dating over the last few months and got nowhere, friends and family have now taken over. Thanks for reading
Siquijor Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 If she's already developed strong feelings for you, I don't think the friendship will work. What if you find a girlfriend? How will she react? Will she be jealous? Potentially this could cause problems so it's probably best to nip it in the bud.
Zippy2000 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 I'm not sure if you can call this strange. I do now some friends who act this way who are very close and comfortable in themselves and their relationship. For me. I'd never get this close to someome unless its a girlfriend/boyfriend. You do need to communicate to her if its just friends she can't act this way. What happens if someone sees you like this and your dating someone else.
J21 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Better to nip it in the bud. Dont see how anything good can come of it if u have no romantic feelings. Since u guys went on a date, she can say u lead her on allowing to cuddle etc.
Author Yummm Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 Thanks for the responses guys. I do agree with you for the most part, but boundaries WERE set, they were made clear, but I didn't say that cuddling isn't allowed as I strangely feel comfortable with it. I've also never allowed someone to get that close unless it's someone I'm in a R/S with, that's why it was strange at first, but it's comfortable and since I set the boundaries clear recently that we're only friends and no more, she's taken a step back and enjoyed my company as opposed to trying to flirt with me. I had a date last week, she knows about it, she is also planning on going on a date this week, so unless she's literally trying to hide her feelings for me everything seems genuine.
Httm Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 I think it is fine. Just relax, be a good friend.. and adapt as life continues and changes. 1
Author Yummm Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 I think it is fine. Just relax, be a good friend.. and adapt as life continues and changes. I like that, nice one!
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