heartbroken15 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Hi, Well a couple of weeks ago my ex of 8 years contacted me about working it out and I was thrilled. To make a long story short it seems like she didn't know what she wanted and kept changing her mind. So I eventually said forgot it I'm tired of playing this game. So I told her I wanted to move on and she got mad saying that she is trying and that she is just scared and blah blah but it's crazy because the 2 days that she was here she was acting like she didn't want to be around me. She even sent me a text while at work stating that she don't know if we are going to work out. So basically she have been pushing and pulling with my emotions. So day before yesterday she went to stay with her mom because I basically told her that I'm tired of her not knowing what she want. So the next morning she texted me to tell me that she know what she want which is us. She pop up in the next ten minutes wanting to talk and still acting as if she is unsure so I didnt really say much. Later that night I sent her a message pouring my heart telling her why I think we should be together and asking why is it that she is so confused. She never responded. I then sent a few messages asking was she ok and things like that. She never responded. Then she texted back saying yes I'm ok hours later. Have anyone experienced this? Why is she ignoring me now all of a sudden? What did I do so wrong? I just don't get it. I'm trying to see what she want before I go no contact again because I'm sick of the back and forth and we also have kids together. So I really think at this age she should know what she want.
PegNosePete Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 It is clear what she wants. Her actions speak much louder than her words. If she wanted the relationship to work out then she would be putting every possible effort into making it work. She would be doing everything she could to hold onto you. She's not doing much at all. She is not committed in the slightest. She couldn't care less if you moved on or not, save for her hurt ego. Move on. 1
Shock148 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 (edited) Hi, Well a couple of weeks ago my ex of 8 years contacted me about working it out and I was thrilled. To make a long story short it seems like she didn't know what she wanted and kept changing her mind. So I eventually said forgot it I'm tired of playing this game. So I told her I wanted to move on and she got mad saying that she is trying and that she is just scared and blah blah but it's crazy because the 2 days that she was here she was acting like she didn't want to be around me. She even sent me a text while at work stating that she don't know if we are going to work out. So basically she have been pushing and pulling with my emotions. So day before yesterday she went to stay with her mom because I basically told her that I'm tired of her not knowing what she want. So the next morning she texted me to tell me that she know what she want which is us. She pop up in the next ten minutes wanting to talk and still acting as if she is unsure so I didnt really say much. Later that night I sent her a message pouring my heart telling her why I think we should be together and asking why is it that she is so confused. She never responded. I then sent a few messages asking was she ok and things like that. She never responded. Then she texted back saying yes I'm ok hours later. Have anyone experienced this? Why is she ignoring me now all of a sudden? What did I do so wrong? I just don't get it. I'm trying to see what she want before I go no contact again because I'm sick of the back and forth and we also have kids together. So I really think at this age she should know what she want. Wow 8 years that is a long way back. Ok so this is what I believe. Like stated above, actions speak louder than words and her words show she doesnt want to be with you. What most likely happened was that she ended her last relationship recently, does not like being alone, and contacted you to fill a void. After that, she thought it over and said hmm maybe I do not want to be with him, maybe I want to be with my last boyfriends, maybe I want to be with a new person, but all I know is I don't want to be single. All I know is that it has been 8 years since you have been with her, she comes out of the blue stating these feelings which honestly sounds like BS to me. Out of those 8 years I am sure she has been in 1 or a couple of relationships and not have her feelings she had for you waned over the past decade is hard to believe. She does not want to commit and is playing games because she is second guessing herself on why she told you what she did and the real reason why she said it. Was it because she really has those feelings for you? Or is it because she is lonely and just wants someone who she knows cares about her to mend her lonely/broken heart? Either way, too many red flags here for you to get involved with her. You poured your heart out in a text and she ignores you for hours and her only response is yes im okay? Nothing about you pouring out your heart? Yes she could have been sleeping or something, but no "sorry this is the reason why I didnt respond right away" or "yes I am okay and also with the rest of what you texted me etc. etc." I would NC her and tell her that you are too old to be with people who do not know what they want in life. Edited November 2, 2015 by Shock148
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 The fact that you have children together complicates matter but from what I can gather, she hasn't a clue what she wants and that includes you. Do you have a relationship with your children? Do you see them regularly? How old are they? I know you probably want to get back together for the sake of the children if nothing else but it's not healthy for children to see their parents come and go. Children need stability, consistency and unconditional love. It's better to provide those things separated than to be constantly distracted with trying to fix a broken relationship where one person has their foot out the door half the time. You need to think what is best for your kids and sometimes that means NOT getting back together with their mother.
Author heartbroken15 Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 yes I do have a relationship with the children. They stay with me. She is a very good mom but I just don't want to deal with this cat and mouse game that she have going on. I guess I will try to just go on with my life and move on. I assume she doesn't want me like she claimed. I have been the one putting in all of the effort but she act like it doesn't phase her. I don't understand why she tried to get back with me if she knew she really didn't want to be with me. Why waste both of our times?
Author heartbroken15 Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 Yes that is exactly what I told her. I don't understand her purpose for the games. If she didn't want to be with me she should have just left me alone altogether. I'm so upset that I broke contact thinking we would work now I have to go back to square one.
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