Carriages Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 So, I had an AP which lasted for 18 months but has died a slow painful death over the last four. Nails were put in the coffin two weeks ago ago today. Have been NC since then with one txt lapse... but it's definitely helping. I have bagged up all her gifts (man she must've spent thousands) and threw them in the trash - but then got them out again (and left them bagged up out of sight). It was just too painful, and I'd prefer not have the wave of emotion. The same goes for some photos I know I still have somewhere on my hard drive (I found and deleted most of them). I also found another gift this evening.... and rather than put it in the bag with the others; I just quickly shoved it out of sight and pretended I didn't see it. I just don't want the waves of longing, emotion and separation anxiety that'll come with actually destroying this physical stuff. Is this ok?? Or a total cop out??
JustAnotherLostLove Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 I think for now, it's good just to simply leave them out of sight. If you're not ready to trash it, than why do it? However, you should be fair to yourself, and tucking it all away in a closet is a good way to accommodate that. When you're ready, you'll do what's necessary. At the end of the day, you're fighting your own battle, and people can't tell YOU how to do that. 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 So, I had an AP which lasted for 18 months but has died a slow painful death over the last four. Nails were put in the coffin two weeks ago ago today. Have been NC since then with one txt lapse... but it's definitely helping. I have bagged up all her gifts (man she must've spent thousands) and threw them in the trash - but then got them out again (and left them bagged up out of sight). It was just too painful, and I'd prefer not have the wave of emotion. The same goes for some photos I know I still have somewhere on my hard drive (I found and deleted most of them). I also found another gift this evening.... and rather than put it in the bag with the others; I just quickly shoved it out of sight and pretended I didn't see it. I just don't want the waves of longing, emotion and separation anxiety that'll come with actually destroying this physical stuff. Is this ok?? Or a total cop out?? I don't really know whether you attribute any "truth" to this or not. It doesn't matter; the Chinese have been doing it for centuries, and they have positive results which are proof enough for them, this 'stuff works'. Take every single last item connected to her, or that triggers a memory with her, for you, and pack them into a box - or boxes. Take these items, sealed, taped - NOT LABELLED - to a friend or relative's house and ask them if you can store them in their loft/garage/shed.... Tell them you'd like to leave them there for about 8 months or so. Then go back home and - get this: Re-arrange every room. Paint, decorate or buy new furniture. Whatever you can do, whatever it takes. Change your living space. Make a 'new' place for yourself. You don't have to do this all in one day. But make a plan. Devise a strategy. Do a bit at a time, and take your time.... Which room comes first? What can you do to make it 'different'? Focus. Start again. Turn the page and make a new you. 1
Author Carriages Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 Help!!! So after 2 weeks of NC I pass my ex AP at work. Then I get a txt saying "There's only two more weeks and we'll never have to endure seeing each other again" (she is moving to another department). It elated me (even though it was bitchy). What do I do??
Simon Phoenix Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Help!!! So after 2 weeks of NC I pass my ex AP at work. Then I get a txt saying "There's only two more weeks and we'll never have to endure seeing each other again" (she is moving to another department). It elated me (even though it was bitchy). What do I do?? Nothing. There's nothing to respond to.
Author Carriages Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 I haven't replied. Feeling strong.
Author Carriages Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 Damn. I replied. Just six words saying "it's ok" and not needy, or pleading... but a reply nonetheless.
Seth0194 Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Box them up, save them for when you are really over her. You might want to look back, you had to have some good times. I kept a few things, pictures, a painting and a dog. All except the dog are in a box sealed in the closet, I am over her but its only been a few months don't want to relive any of that. Avoid her, do not respond to her on any level if you can help it.
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Damn. I replied. Just six words saying "it's ok" and not needy, or pleading... but a reply nonetheless. Why? Why did you reply? To what end? Jeesh......
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