Belle88 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 I've been dating this really great guy for almost a year. We've had a few small bumps in the relationship due to sex which I've posted about in the past and that has been pretty much resolved. A few months ago after a night out and having some cocktails. I texted him that I loved him and he said he wasn't there yet. I've told him face to face and get the 'Aww thank you" response. It's been almost a year and he still hasn't said it. I'm starting to worry about it but I could be way off base with my worries. I do know that he has never said it in any of his past relationships. Thoughts?
mystikmind2005 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 sounds like the old 'once bitten twice shy' syndrome to me?
Author Belle88 Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 I'm going to sound like an airhead but what does that mean?
lana-banana Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 You say "pretty much" resolved; have you two actually had sex yet? I think this guy's psychological hesitation with regards to sex is probably relevant here too. When someone tells you they can't yet say "I love you", you need to stop saying it until and unless they say it first. Otherwise you're just going to frustrate them. You may even accelerate a breakup that way as they realize they don't love you. "I love you" is a major relationship milestone and shouldn't be said over text messages. In my experience it tends to happen around 6-9 months. If someone isn't sure of their feelings after an entire year they aren't likely to benefit from more time. I would suggest moving on regardless, but in your case I would recommend doing it as soon as possible. For whatever reason this guy is extremely hesitant to be intimate with anyone, physically or emotionally. Your relationship doesn't seem to be an exception. Why do you want to a partner who won't open up to you?
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