wrench in gears Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Hi all, this is my first post here. I am new to the whole online dating thing and recently met someone off of a dating app for the first time. We've been seeing each other for a few weeks now and spending time together quite a bit. She has been texting me all day every day up until this weekend. Starting yesterday her texts became really distant, none of the hot and heavy texting we had been doing. She barely responded when I messaged, maybe once or twice and when she does it is meaningless banter. Being new to this whole modern way of dating and being a one girl dater, I am used to a lot of communication. Should I take this as a sign of her being too busy to talk or that she's pursuing other avenues of interest is what I'd really like to know.
smackie9 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Any kissing hand holding cuddling sex yet????
Author wrench in gears Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 Yes we've been doing all of those things. We talked about what we wanted, in that we were both pursuing a relationship.
LoveRefreshed Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 I wouldn't sweat it yet. It's normal to slow down some on the texting. At least for me. Just keep on meeting asking her on dates and meeting in person and you're fine!
smackie9 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Be kool and aloof, act like you are too busy with life to even notice.
Author wrench in gears Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 I'm not too great at disguising my feelings. I don't get angry but pretty much every other emotion registers clearly on my face. So if I put on a fake front like I don't care people usually see right through it lol. I will definitely keep seeing her for a bit as long as she doesn't stand me up. Just don't care for the idea of sleeping with someone who is sleeping with other people as that's not how I roll.
Maggie4 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 you should probably say something if her change in behavior is apparent. If this was a casual friend, you would have said something cos it's normal to notice. If you pretend, that's unnatural, which shows you're afraid to ask cos you want her too much.
LoveRefreshed Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 I'm not too great at disguising my feelings. I don't get angry but pretty much every other emotion registers clearly on my face. So if I put on a fake front like I don't care people usually see right through it lol. I will definitely keep seeing her for a bit as long as she doesn't stand me up. Just don't care for the idea of sleeping with someone who is sleeping with other people as that's not how I roll. It's time to ask her about exclusivity. Just tell her you want to be exclusive and that's that. If she says no then you move on.
angel.eyes Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 If she's no longer as communicative as she once was and this concerns you, discuss it with her! Maybe she thinks you aren't serious and/or are playing her. Maybe you said something offensive. Maybe she's busy at work. Maybe she's preoccupied with personal issues. Maybe family/friends are visiting from out of town. Maybe she met someone else. Who knows? The only way to figure it out, and build emotional intimacy in any relationship is to communicate. Don't try to guess at what the issue might be and react to what you might think it might be. Chances are you'll get it wrong.
Author wrench in gears Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 If she's no longer as communicative as she once was and this concerns you, discuss it with her! Maybe she thinks you aren't serious and/or are playing her. Maybe you said something offensive. Maybe she's busy at work. Maybe she's preoccupied with personal issues. Maybe family/friends are visiting from out of town. Maybe she met someone else. Who knows? The only way to figure it out, and build emotional intimacy in any relationship is to communicate. Don't try to guess at what the issue might be and react to what you might think it might be. Chances are you'll get it wrong. I couldn't agree with you more, that's the reason I write the things I did, I've been trying to communicate and am not getting anything real back.
smackie9 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 I couldn't agree with you more, that's the reason I write the things I did, I've been trying to communicate and am not getting anything real back. That's because she avoiding telling you the truth. Sometimes people are cowards and start to distance themselves hoping you will give up and go away.
Author wrench in gears Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 That's because she avoiding telling you the truth. Sometimes people are cowards and start to distance themselves hoping you will give up and go away. I'm starting to believe that this is what's going on as well. It's probably a bit my fault as I tend to go all in or not at all when dating. I tend to want a relationship not just to keep dating people. I appreciate all the responses from you guys.
d0nnivain Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Everybody around here has the flu. Any chance that she's sick in bed?
Author wrench in gears Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 (edited) Donnivain, yes come to find out she has been feeling under the weather. Gaeta, not that I know of but I haven't been back on there since I met her. I do get the feeling that she's blowing me off due to the fact that she'll post to different social media outlets 6+ times a day, but cannot take a few minutes to type out a meaningful message or give a call. It's all good though I've accepted the possible outcomes and am just going to talk with her about it. If there's no answer that's not just banter I'm going to have to move on. Thanks again. Edited November 3, 2015 by wrench in gears
d0nnivain Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Wrench If she's not feeling well, give her a week or two to get back on her feet before you dump her. It takes mental energy to talk to a new guy. As a woman she wants to feel desirable, not all flu-y & gross. Social media is easy. Talking to you -- the cute guy she likes & who she wants to find her sexy -- takes more out of her. Give her time to get back to full strength before you blow her off.
Author wrench in gears Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 I'll keep that in mind. I really do like the lady and would much rather give things time than blow it off over something small. 1
Ami1uwant Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 It's typical if a relationship becomes more established that there is a slow down of texting and communicating.
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