Mrlonelyone Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 Many of you know the saga of the one I call M. I ask that you help me with some words with this as I help others. This is sot of wierd so I am not sure where to put it. On the second chance board I would write for a while about the various text, emails, phone calls, and in person visits there have been over the last couple years since we split apart. For those who are new to this. For 9 months we were really intensely together. Thousands of hours together, met family, traveled together, and everything else that happens in a relationship. Then when I graduated we broke apart and saw others. I would call her, she's say she wanted no contact. Then she would call me text email I would ignore and respond sparingly not as a game but because I was trying NC to heal but ...I like hearing from her. We met up in person when she was in town again. Now again she wants no contact and it feels very final. I've been here before.... but it still hurts like I was dumped. Yet I never felt like this was a relationship. Funny thing is thinking back if I were in a LDR that was official I would have seen her in person, spoken to/ exchanged messages with her about as often as we have. Has anyone else ever been here? In a situation this messed up without being divorced or something?
Author Mrlonelyone Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 Nothing to say about this? I guess I am the only one who seems to stumble in and out of these situations without thinking. Maybe I dispense so much what I am told is thoughtful advice no one wants to offer up anything? Maybe those who would can only offer "Go NC" "Move on". (The solution for 99% of problems here it seems). I've tried that. I've online dated, and hung out without crossing the line as much as I can with people I work with. I never felt half as good with anyone I've met in the last couple of years as I do just chatting with her, with M. I so wish I could meet someone new and be at least as blown away. This is what little I have. Here it is. A long complicated on off relationship. Help me to understand what is going on?
Gloria25 Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Maybe some counseling? IMO, who we seek out for s mate fulfills a "need" and/or "desire" we have - healthy or not. For example, some guys want a woman with drama cuz they grew up around drama and it's all they know... A counselor will take time to help you see what is driving you to women like this. If you cannot afford a counselor, some Universities, colleges have students that will do it for free or at a discounted rate. The good thing about this is you'll have superiors above the student monitoring the student's treatment of you and that's like paying nothing for top dollar treatment if you ask me. If you don't wanna go the counseling route, maybe go online, YouTube, TV, radio, etc and listen to/watch relationship advice shows and really, really be open to listening to others snd taking time to do some introspective hard work looking at yourself, childhood, life, and what makes you "tick" and hopefully you can see why you get involved in the kinds of RLs (like this one) that you do. Good luck
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