tomtheman1234 Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 Long story short I am a in my 30's and find it hard to ask ladies out as I have very small bit of autism. I live by myself and drive and have lived and backpacked around Australia and New Zealand and lived in London as my autism is not that bad at all most people would not know I have it. Any how I have had a crush on an older lady for sometime. I have known her for a few years as she works for a friend of my mums. She lives with her parents and I know she has not had a boyfriend for a long time. I thought about asking her out 18 months ago but was to scared to ask her out as we seem to get in well each time I see her. Maybe she might be to old for me but I would like to try asking her out as can't seem to find any one my age that's interested in dating or who is on my wave length. Any tips on what to do and where to go? At the moment I just want to ask her out as a friend that's a start.
Buddhist Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 Long story short I am a in my 30's I thought about asking her out 18 months ago but was to scared to ask her out as we seem to get in well each time I see her. Maybe she might be to old for me but I would like to try asking her out as can't seem to find any one my age that's interested in dating or who is on my wave length. Any tips on what to do and where to go? At the moment I just want to ask her out as a friend that's a start. As an older woman who dates younger men I'll give you some insight. If you're only asking her out because you can't get a girlfriend your age then just leave it alone. Older women don't want to be someone's fallback option. We are set up in life, have more confidence than your average 30yr old and cannot be bothered with these kinds of tedious issues. If however you want to be with her because you are attracted to her, then go ahead and ask her out. If you're interested in being sexual with her then don't beat about the bush by asking her out in ambiguous circumstances that leaves everything open to interpretation. She will have no patience for that. If you're interested in her sexually make it clear that's what you're interested in from the start. If she's also interested in that then she will appreciate your honesty about it and it will pave the way. If she's not interested in that you get to find out straight up and can stop wasting your time and holding out hope where there is none. Think carefully about the age gap, if it's in any way a source of conflict for you just don't go there. She will not appreciate being subjected to your personal insecurities about it. Older women offer younger men a straight forward and no-nonsense relationship option with lots of good sex. But you've got to be brave enough to put yourself out there. No pussy footing around and pretending it's something else. 3
scooby-philly Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 I'm a 34 SWM. Both of my "LTRs" were with women older than me. 30 she was 32 when we started. 33, 38 when we started. I agree with the previous post - don't view them as a "fallback" option. I know for myself, I hate women who only want to go out all the time, or care more about their friends opinion than their significant others, or those who are absolutely career minded - i.e. 90 hours a week every week. Something called balance. That isn't always easy to find in younger women. I've gone out with plenty of younger women, but a lot just irritate me because of their immaturity - even if they're 28,29,30. Now, in the first case she had never been married and had no kids, while the other was divorced (twice) and had kids. I will say that the other thing to be careful of - while the previous poster was correct - older women are established, more secure, etc. - if they have any big issues - sleeping around, bad parenting, drugs, heavy drinking, it will be worse than with a 24 year old.
Author tomtheman1234 Posted November 1, 2015 Author Posted November 1, 2015 (edited) Thanks for the advice. I might have been misleading in my post me wanting to date an older lady is cos I find lots of older ladies very attractive and I get on well with most older ladies and find them easy to chat to. I don't want to date an older lady cos I can't seem to find a lady around my age to date. This is not a fallback option. Edited November 1, 2015 by tomtheman1234
Buddhist Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Thanks for the advice. I might have been misleading in my post me wanting to date an older lady is cos I find lots of older ladies very attractive and I get on well with most older ladies and find them easy to chat to. I don't want to date an older lady cos I can't seem to find a lady around my age to date. This is not a fallback option. Good to know, even just within yourself. I agree it can be a good option. My previous partner was 12yrs younger, my current one about the same. We are set in our ways so if you enjoy what you know of her now, then chances are excellent she isn't going to have a major lifestyle change soon. So you kind of know what you are getting.
Author tomtheman1234 Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 I have given drinking alcohol and just looking for the quiet life and this older lady seems like she might be the sort of person I am looking for.
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