Stercrazy Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 Ok not sure where I should post this but I figured here. I'm single since Sept. '14. Had a few dates and a brief relationship (1 month) since then. I'm pretty comfortable being single. I like the "no pressure" at this point. I take care of my gorgeous daughter when I need to and do my own thing on my off time. Met a girl at a conference in May '15. Thought she was cool and we talked a bit. She's got a BF so I immediately backed off. They live together. We mutually agreed to keep things platonic....which is cool. Didn't really talk throughout the summer but about 2 weeks we met up. She talks about how her BF has no real ambition at this point in his life. She's talking about how amazing I am.....got my hit together....ect. I feel like she has the gigs on me.....which is kind of a turn off. I told her she needs to figure out what she wants before I would persue anything with her. I'm not really into drama...lol. She's kind of chasing me. How do I let her down without being a dick?
Luke22 Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 Smart move to not pursue her. Actions >words. Based on how she's handling her current boyfriend is an indicator of who she really is. IMHO, bad apple.
Kehv Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 My ex pretty much did this very thing on me. I was struggling to get a job and she started talking to this guy who has a pretty good job. Aside from that we did not have any problems in our relationship. This happened 4 months ago and she's still with him. I can tell you though it's a dick move in and get someone else's gf. She will dump him the minute you show any interest. Almost everything you tell her is OK. If you tell her you don't want to date someone who has a boyfriend she will dump him. If you're simply not that interested in her you could just tell her that, doesn't make you a dick.
Author Stercrazy Posted November 1, 2015 Author Posted November 1, 2015 My ex pretty much did this very thing on me. I was struggling to get a job and she started talking to this guy who has a pretty good job. Aside from that we did not have any problems in our relationship. This happened 4 months ago and she's still with him. I can tell you though it's a dick move in and get someone else's gf. She will dump him the minute you show any interest. Almost everything you tell her is OK. If you tell her you don't want to date someone who has a boyfriend she will dump him. If you're simply not that interested in her you could just tell her that, doesn't make you a dick. Yeah I kind of feel that she would use ME as her excuse. I'm comfortable being single at this time and although it's a nice ego stroke I'm not interested in her enough to create drama. She's chasing me today. I just want to rake my leaves an watch some football.
Kehv Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 Yeah plus she might be pretty unstable if she would leave someone for you because that makes you a rebound basically. It could work but is that a chance you'll be willing to make?
mightycpa Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 I told her she needs to figure out what she wants before I would persue anything with her. I'm not really into drama...lol. She's kind of chasing me. How do I let her down without being a dick?You could start by explaining that what you told her isn't true, and that you're more interested in raking leaves and watching football and spending time with your daughter.
Author Stercrazy Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 You could start by explaining that what you told her isn't true, and that you're more interested in raking leaves and watching football and spending time with your daughter. What I told her was completely true. I never lead her on.
mightycpa Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 What I told her was completely true. I never lead her on.Then I don't understand. On the one hand, you say: she needs to figure out what she wants before I would persue anything but you also say I'm pretty comfortable being single. I like the "no pressure" at this point. I'm not interested in her enough to create drama. I just want to rake my leaves an watch some football. How do I let her down?I just don't get the feeling that you're really interested in pursuing her, regardless of the other boyfriend. You don't write about her like you're all that interested. What am I missing?
Author Stercrazy Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 What am I missing? The part where I don't want to be a dick about not wanting to be with her. The reason why I posted in this area is that it seems she has gigs towards me.
Kehv Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 You're not a dick if you tell someone you're not interested. You're a dick if you tell her you are interested while you're not. Women like that are the worst. Just acting like everything is fine and meanwhile search for another guy. 1
mightycpa Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 You're not a dick if you tell someone you're not interested. You're a dick if you tell her you are interested while you're not. Just to amplify that to make it applicable to your specific question, you're a dick when you imply that you'll pursue someone if she breaks up with her boyfriend, when in reality, you don't want to be with her. So, I guess the answer to your question I told her she needs to figure out what she wants before I would persue anything with her..... lol....How do I let her down without being a dick? is that it's too late to worry about that.
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