TheBathWater Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 (edited) I met a decently attractive woman through OkCupid several days ago. She had me come over to her place for the first date. The place was pretty clean and the lights were dim with some music in the background. I think we were in her bed about an hour or two later at most. The sex was good, but she gives me a really strange/spooky vibe that I can't put my finger on. What stands out to me the most about her is how disorganized and unstable she seems. Every time we made/make plans, she calls to cancel, reschedule, or push things back by an hour. Then she'll call again closer to meetup time and do the same thing. I briefly wondered if she was a drug dealer and even asked her this jokingly on the phone. When I'm around her, she seems sketchy, paranoid, and emotionally unstable. She also said she is between cars right now and so can't drive anywhere. She "works from home". I tried to see her last night for Halloween and it was the weirdest date ever. First, she did the normal runaround thing and pushed plans back. Then plans got changed entirely and her friends and us suddenly weren't going clubbing as planned. I went over and the place was absolutely trashed. Dishes piled in the sink, clothes thrown all around the room, cooked food on top of the stove that had been out for hours, umbrellas were opened and lying around, bed was disheveled, and even her animals seemed uneasy. She kept knocking things over too. She said her apartment got broken into recently and someone stole a big wad of cash. She wanted to turn on her apartment cameras before we went out to get drinks but didn't want me in the apartment when she turned them on for some reason. She was acting really paranoid again. She even asked me to leave by a different entrance than her and to pick her up around the corner. It was getting to be too much for me. I told her that honestly I was getting spooked out, and that I thought it was better if she just stay home alone and take care of herself and contact me when she's feeling better. What is this woman's issue? She really gives me the creeps and I don't think I'm going to see her again. Edited November 1, 2015 by TunaInTheBrine
Karine26 Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 I'm not sure what's with her but what's with you?? Lol why are you trying so hard and coming on a forum to try to figure out this mess (literally)?? From what you described most likely nothing good will come out of this so just forget about her and move on. That site and many other free sites are like a second home to the mentally unstable. Hopefully she doesn't know where you live lol 5
LoveRefreshed Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 She sounds more like an addict to me. Could be booze. Heroin. No idea but my mom was an alcoholic and she always had messes like you describe and was always looking for a man to fix her instead of taking care of herself. You should just let it go and move on. 5
ExpatInItaly Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 Your gut is telling you something isn't right. And it's not. Listen to your instinct and don't see her anymore. Could be something psychological, could be addiction issues. It doesn't matter too much what the issue is because it appears it's not the right woman for you. 4
Versacehottie Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 Drugs. Don't know that she is selling but sounds like she is doing them. Or she has mental illness. Even if guesses like these are wrong, I felt uneasy reading just your snipet. If you feel uncomfortable like this there is no point. Sounds like a liar with drama (hallmarks of drug use too). "in between jobs, cars, apt got broken into for a wad of cash". Nothing's adding up to a normal person. 4
Odinani Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 So you're first "date" involved you going over to her apartment and having full sex with her? Did you have a conversation beforehand?
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 I'm not sure what's with her but what's with you?? Lol why are you trying so hard and coming on a forum to try to figure out this mess (literally)?? From what you described most likely nothing good will come out of this so just forget about her and move on. That site and many other free sites are like a second home to the mentally unstable. Hopefully she doesn't know where you live lol Sorry but this was my initial reaction when I was reading your post. Who cares what any of us think might be her "issue". She gives you the creeps for heaven's sake. That should be enough. This is a no brainer. Good luck.
Author TheBathWater Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 So you're first "date" involved you going over to her apartment and having full sex with her? Did you have a conversation beforehand? Sex wasn't planned; it just sorta happened. Yes, we talked for an hour or two prior.
Odinani Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Sex wasn't planned; it just sorta happened. Yes, we talked for an hour or two prior. When somebody invites you to their home for a first date I'd say it means they want and expect sex. Normally people would meet in a cafe or bar or restaurant. 1
deadelvis Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Drugs or mental illness. Or both. So what's the problem again? She sounds awesome.
Author TheBathWater Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 When somebody invites you to their home for a first date I'd say it means they want and expect sex. Normally people would meet in a cafe or bar or restaurant. Well, she doesn't have a car. We tried making plans a couple of times for tea, and then a drink, but she couldn't get a ride and I assume she couldn't afford the cab fare either. So she invited me to her place for dessert and wine.
Author TheBathWater Posted November 2, 2015 Author Posted November 2, 2015 Drugs or mental illness. Or both. So what's the problem again? She sounds awesome. Ha! It is true I like my women a little neurotic, but I'd say this one might be psychotic. Like, the kind of woman you fear giving your home address or last name out to. You can have her if you want.
mystikmind2005 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 I'm not sure what's with her but what's with you?? Lol why are you trying so hard and coming on a forum to try to figure out this mess (literally)?? From what you described most likely nothing good will come out of this so just forget about her and move on. That site and many other free sites are like a second home to the mentally unstable. Hopefully she doesn't know where you live lol He is here because he has been captured by curiosity...... that curiosity is most likely going to compel him to keep seeing her.
thecrucible Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Anyone who invites a guy over for sex for a first time (someone she hasn't met before) has got to have issues. You have to be so careful with the internet and I wouldn't dare inviting a guy over whom I hadn't met before. 2
Author TheBathWater Posted November 3, 2015 Author Posted November 3, 2015 Anyone who invites a guy over for sex for a first time (someone she hasn't met before) has got to have issues. You have to be so careful with the internet and I wouldn't dare inviting a guy over whom I hadn't met before. Apparently, she wouldn't normally do such a thing (*rolls eyes and smirks*) but I was 'different' because I had a yoga picture in my online dating profile.
SammySammy Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 I dated a woman like this once. She and her mother were eccentric. Odd. Slightly mentally ill in my opinion. I'm always punctual, so I considered the constantly changing plans to be disrespectful. I'm also a neat freak to the extreme, so I couldn't deal with the messiness. Had to leave. Couldn't deal with it. The interesting thing is she is a professional woman with a seemingly successful practice. Her personal office and her bookkeeping were a mess, but she has been able to run a successful business as far as I can tell.
veggirl Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 Pills or another drug. I mean DUH. A break in, piles of cash, nasty mess, "neurotic", sex with a stranger within a couple of hours of meeting him, constantly pushing **** back, "in between" cars. HOT MESS! Why are you even seeing her???? 1
PogoStick Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 You all forgot prostitute. Of course she can still be doing drugs and selling them, plus running tricks to pay for her habit. Hope you wore a condom! 1
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