I'm moving so we're breaking up :(

[cholee]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months we have had a rocky relationship I have broken up with him so many times I have lost track always when I'm intoxicated but we always ended up getting back together.*

 

We see each other about 5-6days a week I sleep over at his apartment several times a week. I have cut back drinking and I started going to councelling for my drinking because I realized if I didn't do something I would lose him. I'm 25 so is he ..he bought an apartment suite a few months ago and my family moved about 5 hrs away so I moved in with a friend and her family temporarily.

 

Since the beginning of the relationship we both said we would never do long distance. My parent's had planned to move for a long time and my boyfriend was skeptical about getting involved with me because he was afraid I might move one day too, to go live them.*

 

Anyways a few days ago my parents offered me to move into their brand new house in the basement suite. I'm not financially stable on my own yet so I don't have the money to pay rent to stay here anymore and my friend that I'm living with wanted me to start looking for a place to move in to because I was just staying with her temporarily.

 

So I don't really have a choice I have to move right now I'm leaving in a couple of weeks. When I told my bf he started crying and was very upset and was like I knew this would happen. Since then he has perked up and we've talked about breaking up just before I leave. But I'm wondering if that will make it harder and if I should start separating myself now? We both said we see a future for us we both hope this is just temporarily.*

 

My friend told said to mi shouldn't be upset because if he really wanted me to stay he would offer me to move in with him. Which is true but I know he knows I'm not financially stable and we're so rocky I can see how he may be thinking. Before I moved in with my friend months ago I was originally suppose to move in with him but because we kept fighting etc he didn't think it was a good idea. I don't want to break up I don't know what to do... my family is so excited for me to move in with them. I feel so sad right now going through this breakup slowly..

 

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[d0nnivain]

This move may be a blessing in disguise. Your relationship is dysfunctional. At only 8 months in you should not have already broken up even once. The fact that you have done so repeatedly to the point where you don't know how many times tells me you two are bad for each other & one of you at least has poor problem resolution skills. For you to move in together this soon into an already broken mess is a lousy idea which will exacerbate your problems not heal them.

 

 

End this. Move with your parents. Get your own career & financial house in order. Then revisit dating another partner.

[ExpatInItaly]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months we have had a rocky relationship I have broken up with him so many times I have lost track always when I'm intoxicated but we always ended up getting back together.*

 

We see each other about 5-6days a week I sleep over at his apartment several times a week. I have cut back drinking and I started going to councelling for my drinking because I realized if I didn't do something I would lose him. I'm 25 so is he ..he bought an apartment suite a few months ago and my family moved about 5 hrs away so I moved in with a friend and her family temporarily.

 

Since the beginning of the relationship we both said we would never do long distance. My parent's had planned to move for a long time and my boyfriend was skeptical about getting involved with me because he was afraid I might move one day too, to go live them.*

 

Anyways a few days ago my parents offered me to move into their brand new house in the basement suite. I'm not financially stable on my own yet so I don't have the money to pay rent to stay here anymore and my friend that I'm living with wanted me to start looking for a place to move in to because I was just staying with her temporarily.

 

So I don't really have a choice I have to move right now I'm leaving in a couple of weeks. When I told my bf he started crying and was very upset and was like I knew this would happen. Since then he has perked up and we've talked about breaking up just before I leave. But I'm wondering if that will make it harder and if I should start separating myself now? We both said we see a future for us we both hope this is just temporarily.*

 

My friend told said to mi shouldn't be upset because if he really wanted me to stay he would offer me to move in with him. Which is true but I know he knows I'm not financially stable and we're so rocky I can see how he may be thinking. Before I moved in with my friend months ago I was originally suppose to move in with him but because we kept fighting etc he didn't think it was a good idea. I don't want to break up I don't know what to do... my family is so excited for me to move in with them. I feel so sad right now going through this breakup slowly..

 

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Don't listen to your friend; he/she couldn't be more wrong. Your boyfriend is right not to invite you to move in. It would be a disaster. You've broken up with him any times and are in no place to be cohabiting.

 

I think you two should just break up now. You're leaving in two weeks anyway and will break up then so I don't think it makes sense to stay together during the lead-up to that.

 

Also, you need to get yourself into a healthy place before you can be in a relationship. If alcohol is causing that much of problem, you don't need to cut back - you need to give it up completely. What does your counselor say about your consumption? You mentioned you're not financially stable; do you work? Go to school?

 

I think this is an opportunity to get your life together. You're 25, not 18. You can start to gain your independence and some emotional stability. Then consider entering a relationship. You're doing the right thing living with your parents for the time being as you need to get on your own two feet and it sounds like they will help support you while you do so. Don't even worry about relationships right now.