Author Guyouthere Posted November 1, 2015 Author Posted November 1, 2015 Because he delegated it to your co-worker. Your boss (nor even your co-worker) should have to tell a 49 year old man that whilst at work asking a customer out is completely inappropriate. You misunderstood, or perhaps I didn't explain correctly. The coworker she went to and complained "first" was my friend. She told me that the woman went to another worker and that worker went to the boss. My boss didn't delegate anything whatsoever. My friend told me this all because she and I are close and talk about everything. Maybe that clears it up now.
Author Guyouthere Posted November 1, 2015 Author Posted November 1, 2015 ^^^^^ Does your employer not provide annual Ethics Training? I don't see anything unethical about asking someone out in a polite manner, work or not. If an employee is disrespectful to a customer (as the previous guy evidently was), than a situation like that should be punished. Its quite obvious that particular woman has her own issues and was likely "traumatized" by whatever the previous guy did, and I just got associated with it in her mind. My friend told me that she seemed like a B to begin with (women's intuition).
katiegrl Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 how would i feel? I wouldn't care coz I trust my gf or wife (or should be able to). I would think it boost her self esteem and be happy, and honestly I would see it as VERY inappropriate if my wife/gf took a step to complain about a guy doing so PROVIDED he wasn't disrespectful to her. IF he was, then she would most definitely have the right and should most definitely make a complaint/say something. I wasn't disrespectful to that woman whatsoever. I was "grouped" together with the last guy who was. And that is not my fault. It is her "issue". Im sure my boss asked exactly what I said,,, and of course all that was said was what I told you I said. He had nothing to say about the incident. I agree you shouldn't **** where you work ...however, people *have* gotten together at work, and it's worked out. Not to mention.... let's face it, had she actually been attracted to you and interested in you, she would have happily accepted your coffee invite and NOT complained about you.... However, that said, be careful with this, because some women would have taken this further and accused you of way more than simply "hitting on her.". Regardless of whether true or not. Think *sexual harassment* at the workplace, which IS in fact a big no no at most companies in the U.S. In fact, there are actually laws against sexual harassment in the workplace, and employees are in fact fired for this type of thing. Does the company you work for have policy manual? Have you read it? And just so you know, *sexual harassment* does NOT have to be sexual in nature. It can be something as simple and seemingly harmless as complimenting a woman on her dress, hair, etc! I work in legal (employment law) and I know this for a fact! So please Guy, keep it professional in the workplace, for your own job security. You just never know how something as seemingly harmless as a coffee invite is gonna be perceived, and how a woman will react to it....
Author Guyouthere Posted November 1, 2015 Author Posted November 1, 2015 I agree you shouldn't **** where you work ...however, people *have* gotten together at work, and it's worked out. Not to mention.... let's face it, had she actually been attracted to you and interested in you, she would have happily accepted your coffee invite and NOT complained about you.... However, that said, be careful with this, because some women would have taken this further and accused you of way more than simply "hitting on her.". Regardless of whether true or not. Think *sexual harassment* at the workplace, which IS in fact a big no no at most companies in the U.S. In fact, there are actually laws against sexual harassment in the workplace, and employees are in fact fired for this type of thing. Does the company you work for have policy manual? Have you read it? And just so you know, *sexual harassment* does NOT have to be sexual in nature. It can be something as simple and seemingly harmless as complimenting a woman on her dress, hair, etc! I work in legal (employment law) and I know this for a fact! So please Guy, keep it professional in the workplace, for your own job security. You just never know how something as seemingly harmless as a coffee invite is gonna be perceived, and how a woman will react to it.... I am in a rush to get to work now actually, so will come back here later. Bottom line… she got traumatized in the past by someone else there. I was associated with him in her mind. I acted very respectful towards her, and the entire conversation we had was polite and respectful. Likely she was just one of these BPD types…. we know there are plenty of them out there. Will say more later. Got to work now
Author Guyouthere Posted November 1, 2015 Author Posted November 1, 2015 There is something VERY wrong with a society that can label a guy a creep or a harrasser for complimenting a woman. Quite obviously. BBL.
katiegrl Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 I am in a rush to get to work now actually, so will come back here later. Bottom line… she got traumatized in the past by someone else there. I was associated with him in her mind. I acted very respectful towards her, and the entire conversation we had was polite and respectful. Likely she was just one of these BPD types…. we know there are plenty of them out there. Will say more later. Got to work now Please read my entire post ...thank you.
J21 Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 Not a single person has posted a response supporting what you did. People from multiple parts of the world agree your actions were deemed inappropriate. Perhaps it's not the country you're in or the girl that you asked, perhaps the issue is you. Being "nice and calm" is what people do in public, that is not an open invitation to ask them out or an indication she is interested romantically. She did NOT welcome your advances, if she did she wouldn't have reported you. Of course in your head you twist it as her being "two faced", whatever that means. If you still can't see what you did was wrong, then I don't know what to tell ya except good luck. 3
katiegrl Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 There is something VERY wrong with a society that can label a guy a creep or a harrasser for complimenting a woman. Quite obviously. BBL. I won't argue with you about this ....only to say that IS the law! You want to keep your job? Then play by the rules and abide by the Federal Labor Laws our country has in place, regardless of whether you agree with them or not, and you'll be fine.
RecentChange Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 (edited) Don't piss where you eat comes to mind. You said that there is nothing wrong with asking a coworker out. Actually, that is considered unacceptable in many industries. Makes too much drama, as you have experienced first hannd. Edited November 1, 2015 by RecentChange
LoveRefreshed Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 A costumer at my job slipped me a paper with her phone number then told me I should call her should I become aingle. This is the US... when women can do what they want without fear of this lash back but men must not even look wrongly at a woman. Sorry bro but thems the breaks. Don't flirt or anything and they'll probably ask you out
BLND Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 Again you stated that the problem is the woman. That she must have issues and be a mental case. Whereas from the first post,everybody without an exception, has told you that in fact, YOU crossed a line that shouldn't have been crossed. I'm just gonna state it again, that you seem to have issues with women. You see signs where there are NONE. And when you get rejected (which is often) you blame it on the women. 1
lana-banana Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 (edited) When you go to work every day you are representing your employer. That means upholding basic standards of professional decorum: wearing the proper attire, following corporate protocol, responding politely to emails when you'd rather say "Go to hell", etc. You sacrifice your personal time for your employer's use; that's why they pay you. You do not do whatever you want, and you especially don't do whatever you want to a customer. As others have pointed out, this isn't about America, contemporary mores, or women as a whole. Not every action is appropriate for every situation at every time. This is honestly such a fundamental part of basic human interaction I can't believe this shocks you. I also can't believe you don't understand the difference between casual watercooler chat among employees and an employee asking out a customer while on the clock. Edited November 2, 2015 by lana-banana 2
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